What would you do if the person you love says it over .......

@foisgras (205)
Sweden
May 21, 2009 7:57pm CST
Honesty & Trust were the pillars of of our relationship. We are both divorced from our previous marriages. He has 3 grown-up children and I have 2, leaving on their own. We met in November last year. We see each other on 2 different grounds. He tells me that he has his hands full at the moment. He wants to prioritize his grown-up children. Today I received an e-mail saying it is all over! I am sending your suitcases back. (By freight) What would you do? Will you drive to pick-up your suitcase yourself? Or would you rather wait for the suitcase to be delivered at your door step?
7 people like this
27 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
22 May 09
I would wait for the suitcase to arrive too. If someone tells me that, regardless the love, I don't think I could handle going there and seeing for myself that he has no more love for me. I think him prioritizing his grown up kids is just an excuse, I tell you he found someone else. So there, I'd talk to him over the phone or something, asking for an explanation. But I won't dare go there. I'll wait for the suitcases to arrive.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 May 09
Sometimes pride overpower our feelings and it is so difficult to fight over with it especially if the person himself that it is the right thing to do. If we let our pride dictate our brains and heart all the time , eventhough in the back of it we wanna do something else instead, we might end up in regret for letting it happen. When it comes to your situation, i think it's better to face it in person and not just let things as he want it to be without a proper closure in your relationship. If you two talk together personally and you get your things by yourself to have a chance to talk things out, there might be a possible changes of the situation. Eventhough, you were both having a family and kids already , but you did have divorced already and the concerned party now is just between you and him. But we don't know for sure if the real reason is to prioritize his other family or if found someone else that he wanted more than you. In most cases, reality hurts and we don't wanna believe it. But i think ,if i were in your side, i would face him and talk things over. If i still love him that much (enough to beg to have him back) then i would do all my best to reconcile . But if he really want to put a dot in your relationship after everything ,then i think the best for you to do is just to move on with your life. That's life afterall anyway, full of ups and downs . Then at time that you get up with yourself again , you can just look back at these things for what happened in your life as good learning memories. Good day!!!!
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
22 May 09
There's no point in going to pick the suitcases up yourself because seeing him again will not give you closure. He has issues and you're not necessarily one of them but you have to let him go. It doesn't seem like he was entirely honest with you but divorce can have a long lasting effect on a person.
1 person likes this
@fwangaa (3057)
• China
22 May 09
it doesn't matter for you to pick-up your suitcase yourself. and you can do it yourself. why always have a reliance to others. i don't think it is good habit do everythings to reliance others. sometimes must do by yourself.
1 person likes this
• India
22 May 09
WEll i think the main problem for this is being the culture difference.In our country when a boy girl make a marriage then it is thought that they are there for their lifetime and this is added from our small age so we make all compramise for each other and feel happy that our partner is caring about us. That is the main thing that matters somewhat for me. So you should find such a person for yourself rather than feeling bad.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 May 09
I would wait for the suite case to be delivered if he is sending it threw the mail than that is a sign that he doesn't want to confront you at the moment that is what happends when two people are not on the same page and I think its better this way for you, be greatful that he was truthful with you instead of waisting your time that way you can move on and find someone that has the time and priority for you good luck Im sure you will find someone that you are their number
1 person likes this
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
22 May 09
I would wait for the suitcase. I mean if he ends things via email instead of phone if it is long distance then he's being kind of cowardly. I wouldn't want to face him and just wait for my things. I understand wanting to prioritize things, but if his kids are grown up, he should be able to make his love life priority number 1.
1 person likes this
22 May 09
Firstly I think its awful that he told you it was over by e-mail . . . I mean how old is this guy, surely he's man enough and grown up enough to at least tell you face to face or even over the phone? I would probably go to pick up my suitcases myself rather than have them sent to me by freight where they may get lost or damaged or something else.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
22 May 09
What would you do? By the time you read this message I'm sure you will have all ready make up your mind. But if it were me, I would not go back. I would wait and let him send me whatever he wants to send via suitcases. The fact that he didn't have the nerve to tell you face to face that things were over says a lot about his character and what kind of person he is. From what I'm gathering I would say that it's not worth it to go back because there is no telling what he might really be capable of doing. I would allow him to send me my things and just tell him thanks a lot, it's been nice knowing you, bye. Then that would be the end of it. I wouldn't put my life in jeopardy by going back anywhere near him. Good luck!
@med889 (5941)
22 May 09
Why don't you go and collect the suitcase, maybe then you can get a chance to talk to him face to face, it hurts when someone sayd he wants everything to be over by email or by phone, I would prefer something more manly as then I will seize the opportunity to question him about the sudden decision, If I am hurt then I will need answers to my questions from him. Once you will talk to him I think you will be atleast relieve to be able to tell him everything you are feeling about.
@qiyunhai (254)
• China
22 May 09
PARTERS sould love each other for ever,they understand,trust each other
@med889 (5941)
22 May 09
But what if your partner says so to you, what will you do? Continue to cherish him/her your entire life? You loved him/her and then all of a sudden he/she says its over by EMAIL, what do you do?? Partners being together should be trusting each other and hence each other but if he says ALL OVER what will you do?
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
22 May 09
I'm not good with confrontation so I probably would wait for my suitcase to be delivered. He is a big timer loser to email you that it was over. You deserve better than that. I wouldn't waste my time or tears on a guy like that.
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
22 May 09
sorry to say, but i never go to take my suitcase, and never answer to him again....time ago, somebody say to me, that i am just a memorie...so, i never try to ask him again to talk with me...is my pride..
@UnderSea (69)
• United States
22 May 09
I will wait for the suitcase to be deliverd at my door step. I know its very hard and painful to let it go. But it seems to me that he had already made up his mind, and the last thing I want to do is to drive him even further by show up infront of his house and pretty much corner him. I want him to have good memories of me, and maybe he will regret his decision one day, even if he doesn't I know I left with my head held high and its really his lost! good luck and trust me it will get better...
1 person likes this
@tashakau (131)
• Canada
22 May 09
Wow I am not sure what I would do but I would definelty want an explanation you cannot force anyone to stay in a relationship but I would want to know what I did for this person to leave and say it is over.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
22 May 09
I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I think the guys has his reasons for doing that. If he does has his reasons and he wants out of the relationship, it would mean that it's a big one coz he's willing to risk losing you. Give him time. If the relationship is really for you, he'll come back and explain what happened. As for your suitcase, well, if he wants to send it to you that only means he's afraid of confrontation at the moment. Let him do that. Give him the benefit of the doubt and let him find his way. If he comes back to you, listen to what he has to say. In the meantime, don't spend the rest of your days wishing things worked out for the both of, take it each day at a time and be happy. If you're not in a relationship, it doesn't mean that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life. You are still blessed with 2 kids and maybe even friends, find your strength and happiness in them. :D
• United States
22 May 09
I'd get busy starting over and when the suitcase arrived I'd unpack it. The only thing you can control in a relationship is you.
• United States
22 May 09
I would wait for the suitcase, I wouldn't want to see his face anyways. How rude is that to leave someone through an email. It may be painful and you may feel down but dont worry just know there's better to come.
• Canada
22 May 09
sorrry to hear about your sadness. i have to let GO of someone i have loved ...because it is NOT wworking..i am waiting for him to lett me its over....MY SUGGESTION....wait for the suitcase..because you will want to see him...or tempted too..Good luck..pain is NOT easy
• Philippines
22 May 09
Im so sory to hear this sad story. But for me if you really love her so much and you really want to know the real story why she is leaving you. You can go to her.
• China
22 May 09
You drive to pick-up your suitcase yourself.You should face he bravely.