When you meet someone on the net - are you honest enough about yourself?

@guia10 (139)
Philippines
May 22, 2009 11:44pm CST
Every time you meet someone on the net and you start chatting, do you openly say things about yourself or do you still hold back on a few things? Are you honest enough to give them even your last name? How about the one you're talking to...do you easily believe all he's telling you about himself and his life? I guess, you can't say during the first time you talk if he's someone you can trust or otherwise. For women, it's even harder because most of the time we're the victims of pervs...trying to show you his nice but in the end, you'll realize he has that hidden agenda that most men on the net are after...well, if you won't be honest enough about yourself at fist because you're afraid to become prey to someone, what if you realize the other person genuinely cares for you, would you take back all that you said that weren't true or you'll continue lying to the person? It's hard, especially for me coz I am open and honest to people I meet even on the net. But still, there are those who seem to take advantage of all the good you show. In the end, I just end up ignoring the person and try to move on. How about you?
3 people like this
24 responses
@med889 (5941)
23 May 09
I have to admit that usually I do not open myself fully to the other person on the internet while chatting because firstly I do not know him/her very well to be extrovert with the person, and secondly I do not know what he/she is thinking about me so I prefer to be very brief on the first chat. However this is true that if we are always like this then maybe we won't be able to make friends online too. So I have friends from different countries and they are very good ones, If i were always reserving myself then I would never befriending them so from time to time we used to talk online and then gradually wehn we found that each other are very genuine in their approaches then we move ahead with our friendship and thus revealing more about us. It takes me time to make good friend with someone online. I better take time and find someone good than rushing and meet with disasters. I have also encountered people who were just a nut to me at the end, I had to delete them and find other means to block them too.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Thanks for sharing that...we all need to be cautious on who we trust not only on the net. Even if our friends are few but they're good ones, that's better than having so many friends and uncertain which ones are real. When a person has offended me, whether it's someone I just met, it makes me feel bad knowing I have to let the person go and seek better friendships. Am not looking for a relationship on the net, just seeking good friends. :D
@med889 (5941)
23 May 09
Exactly even I search for good friends instead of a relationship which some people do online. I have a boyfriend and he is nice to me, however I don't mind finding good friends online which take me time to find them or them to find me ;-)
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Well i don't think there's a reason not to tell the truth especially about myself since i have nothing to hide. I'd rather not tell the things which i am protecting like my last name because i am not the only one using it but my family as well. I guess it's just a matter of being responsible on the things you do online. Well, i don't really care much about the name of the one i'm talking to over the net. I just have my way of getting someone's trust and i guess that obviously, leads me to the truth right?
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
23 May 09
You're right, you need to be responsible enough with the things you do online...funny you should mention that. btw, how does modstar get someone's trust so easily? and once they trust you, what happens next?
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Well obviously, a stronger bond develops. It's not like i'm going to use it for my evil deeds. I know i can but i chose not to. What for? There's just no point of using vital information against someone. Just a waste of time. How do i get trust so easily? Well i'm an honest person and i'm quite down to earth. Enough to make people feel comfortable with me. I wouldn't be ranked 71 in relationships for nothing. lol!
@glesil_00 (1142)
• Philippines
5 Jun 09
Not all the time i am honest with myself when talking for the first time in the net, but mostly i am honest with them, and i am not the one who will talk to everyone. I am choosing too whom will i talk to. When it is possible that i can talk more and more to the person, i slowly open up about myself.
• Australia
23 May 09
Honesty is very important to me, but it can be difficult to tell if a person is genuine. If someone is a compulsive liar they often forget what they have said after a day or two, and some people actually are looking for fantasy, to escape their reality. If I find a person asking me a question that i feel is personal, or not relevant, then I change the subject, or explain i'm uncomfortable giving the imformation. Usually it only takes a few minutes to decide if the person is interesting enough to talk to, or, sometimes there may be an attraction, so i talk again to them. I do not use dating sites, so on a social network I seek friends, if it was dating i wanted i'd go to those places.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Thanks for sharing that. It's true, it really is difficult to tell if the person is genuine. I also have a sharp memory so when I sense something is off, I start asking questions. I'm guilty of being too open and sometimes even answering personal questions...still having a hard time assessing up to what extent of myself I can openly share...I also don't go to dating sites. I like meeting new people and having new friends from different parts of the world. It lets me reach out and know more about life outside my home... :D
• Australia
23 May 09
Others can judge me however they choose, if honesty bothers them, let them move on. After reading all the replies here, i'm wondering if everyone knows the difference between, social networks, forums, and dating sites......because, wherever we chat, it's by our own choosing. I agree entirely that having the opportunity to reach people from other countries is enlightening, I find it fascinating finding out how the other half lives. We both know that people are different, being honest i think helps to quickly decide if the person you're chatting to has anything in common with you. Thank you for best response, enjoy your day!
• Malaysia
23 May 09
I normally don't open too much about myself in chatting. I lied sometimes. And of course I don't easily believe what my chatting mate would say about themselves. This is because of one simple reason, I don't know them. That's all!
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
23 May 09
It's actually good that you think that way. It can spare you from getting hurt, especially if you believed in someone and find out all he told you is a figment of his imagination! hehe...hope I can be like that soon. Thanks. :D
@loisvite (47)
• Philippines
23 May 09
I'm always honest especially on my civil status. Guys end up good friends with me, coz they like me being honest in the first time I chat or reply messages to them.
@guia10 (139)
• Philippines
23 May 09
Good to know that...but still, it wouldn't hurt to be more cautious in opening up to people you barely know. Thanks for sharing. :D
• United States
23 May 09
It's not possible for anyone to be 100% COMPLETELY honest all the time, not even me. We all got dark sides that we still cover up. I'll be honest with myself to the best of my ability, but i'd rather keep what I don't want others to find out to myself. It'd be an embarrasment to tell others of my darker self for fear of either ridicule or scorn. So no, I may not be honest with myself, but i'd rather be honest about my good points rather than the bad ones. Even in honesty, there are certain lines that i'd rather not cross in telling no matter what the situation is.
@Beertjie (976)
• South Africa
23 May 09
I have never done online chatting and I don't think I ever will. But, if I was doing it, I will reveal my all. I am so vain I have nothing to hide... Just joking. I am old enough to have nothing to hide from anyone. My life is clean, I am confident in myself and I have the attitude of 'What you see is what you get.' I am an open book and the sooner a person gets to know everything they want to know about me, the sooner they can decide whether they like me or not. I don't want keep people hanging.
• United States
24 May 09
I myself am very honest with people i talk to on the net however there is a fine line you have to draw between you and this person. Being a Female I would say no most deff. not giving out my last name or any other information that can contain to someone that might try to stalk,kill me in the long run. Ive never had that happen thank goodness and i hope it never does.But i know a girl that was stalked and raped by a guy from the net. It happens alot in todays world though where ladys are giving out way to much information and then they go missing,killed and even rapped. So i do not let it get to that level and i only tell them what i think they need to know.
@zhdy89 (301)
• China
24 May 09
Chatting is a relax,a way to release pressure.The face of the display,I am accustomed to thinking about what to say.Whenever if he asked name and weight,how to contact me,I stopped to chat with him at first.General he would not talk about his family,saying that it may be his own.In the absence of an impression that he is lying,and do not believe the letter is not important,as I only listen to one person in the story-telling,the story itself is really false.Chatting for a long time,and he would like to know me more,and usually told me his name and contact way.I had seen many net friends,both before and after 2001,often meeting friends to participate.Users being familiar with each other is the Internet name,even though the actual name was told,and sometimes anyone know me the net name now.In good faith is the basis of exchanges beween two person,you can not say,but can not decive.Some of my friends is a good friend of the first on Internet,back to real life,we became real friends.Internet is a platform for everyone on the network have the opportunity to know each other,but as a true friend or to go back to real life,a new awareness of,and then exchange,have a chance to develop friendship.
@harryt123 (327)
• United States
23 May 09
The honesty and the genuinity of a person is very important for me. I am usually honest about myself if there is anything I need to share. I don't share too much about myself but when I do I just let them know the things I like but don't share personal information with anyone and say that I am uncomfortable if they ask. They could be just anyone and it is not a good idea in my opinion. But most of the people that I talk to and are friends with I have met or have known for a long time but when meeting someone new I start things off slow and then build a friendship.
@justmeh (188)
• Philippines
24 May 09
Can I say 50-50?Cause it depends on the situation I am into. There are ties that I tell truth and also times which I tend to lie especially if those persons just want to see you naked and it really comes to my nerves. I am open and honest to those who deserve it and not to those who's not.
@Leonma (57)
• China
24 May 09
When I met person on the net, I would think about what I can say to him or her, maybe for my current and past work experience I can tell them, but the company name I can say. Normally I chat with person on net, I just to find for whether we have same interesting or we have same words, beside that, I don't think i should be honest enough for stranger on net. By the way, I have once been cheated by a woman on net for lending money.
@Kanani79 (22)
• United States
24 May 09
Honesty is extremely important to me because if you start a friendship and/or relationship based on lies then the whole relationship is basically a lie. On the internet it's all too easy to either hold back some or over indulge especially if you know you'll never meet this person. I however feel that being honest about my life, my situations etc. are pertinent. I am not honest enough to give out my last name because frankly the internet is a scary and sometimes unsafe place. you don't know who you're really talking to and if you give your last name it's all too easy for that person to find even more information about you without your knowledge. There are some things that are better left unsaid. Period.
23 May 09
As a veteran of the net i seem to attract all sorts of people.. I met my now wife online although we were online friends for over 6 months before we even looked at a relationship. What I generally find is that most people that hide something arent worth knowing. In the last few days a scammer managed to find my yahoo from somewhere and instantly i was alert because she had even managed to spell her home town wrong. She got really annoyed when i told her i knew she was scamming and if she wanted to scam at least spend the time learning facts. So its not always pervy guys.. There are also the hidden truths such as marriages that people "forget" to meantion or relationships they are still in. The internet allows people to use and abuse it aswell as the people online. The best advice i can give is find friends of friends if your looking for a partner. But if your looking for chat mates do the same because there are a lot of crazy people out there. How do i deal with people that lie? I normally tell them directly but then again im exacty the same in real life. Life is too short to have your time wasted..
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
23 May 09
I never believe all the things from a person i only meet in chat, and also i will never tell everything about myself to them. it is hard to trust anybody that easily specaily someone you haven't seen at all. The person you already meet sometimes is hard to trust, what more those who you only on the net, right?
@carrine (2743)
• Philippines
23 May 09
not to every body that i chatted with. but there are some that we are very comfy with each other and its like weve chatted long before, like years,. so ive shared everything about me with them. i dont know if they will share it to anybody either. and i dont give a damn if they will do it. LOL
@mimiang (3760)
• Philippines
23 May 09
I am honest so I don't talk to people i do not know.
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
23 May 09
I would be honest to the person I met depending on how I look to him. When I met something on the net theres a thing to come out in our mind to observe how she/he handles himself his/her gestures and you have the personal impression that flash into your mind who she/he is . Then thats the time I become honest if I see her/him saying also truth.
@dhawanbm (3705)
• India
23 May 09
honestly speaking one should not make some opinion about someone whom you have not met ever in your life and dont know, its best to exchange thoiugts and videos sessions over net and only then faith!