I have been with this girl for a while, how do I know when to pop the question?

United States
May 25, 2009 10:17pm CST
I have been dating this girl for about 4 months now and I couldn't imagine a day going by that i'm not with her. Financially we both have good jobs and make good money. I just want to make sure that when I finally ask her to marry me that she is ready for the committment also. I was wondering how some of you married couples waited until you got married and if you have any tips, Thanks
3 people like this
12 responses
@rrdj71 (696)
• United States
26 May 09
I made that mistake the first time and my marriage did not last. I got married after knowing someone for only 3 months. I am now happily remarried and I waited 2 years before we got married. 4 months is not long enough to REALLY know someone. Every time I have been advised by anyone I have been told that couples should wait at least 1 year before getting engaged.
• United States
26 May 09
My parent kind of went through the same thing when they got divorced but I am trying to not let it affect my decision making to much, although I don;t want to ignore it.
@mjmlagat (3171)
• Philippines
26 May 09
Hello there! I'm so happy for you to have found the right girl but isn't it 4 months too soon? Maybe you still need more time to make sure of yourself about the seriousness of the situation you're about to be in..in such a way, this would give your girl enough time to know you better and find the real score for you both. Well this is just a suggestion but if really you need to marry her because you truly love her, do it right away! Good luck my friend!!!
@fwangaa (3058)
• China
26 May 09
i think you are right. several moths are too short. i married just two moths , so i was so regret to married so fast. when i don't want to married. but my familly don't allow this . i don't know why.
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
26 May 09
Really hun you should wait a bit longer then 4 months to ask someone to marry you...you never know what things might change later on down the line because you didnt take the time to get to really know each other before you got married...trust me 4 months is not long enough..just take more time and see how things go between you two.
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
26 May 09
Thank you for the BR hun..we all hope that you take time and make sure that she is really the right one to marry and that you dont have any regrets in the long run...you never know she might only be one of many that will come into your life til you find the real right one...Good luck in what ever you choose to do just keep us updated.
• United States
26 May 09
I'm going to have to agree with the majority here and say four(4) months might not be long enough to base a life-long commitment on. But I will attempt at giving some advice and guidlines. How to tell if she wants to commit as well. . .(These are suggestions and are not gauranteed to work, but they should give you some insight 1) See if you can get her to spend the weekend at your place, or you at hers. 2) Plan your winter holiday together, does she mind spending time with you alone, with your family or is she okay with you staying with her family for the holiday. 3) Share a "white-picket fence" fantasy with her and she how she responds Bear in mind the Four-Ls of a relationship. Do you LOVE her? Do you LUST after her? Do you LIKE her? Do you feel LUCKY to have her in your life. Many people have two or three of those, unfortunately most base a relationship on only one of them. For a relationship to really last you want to have all four.
• United States
26 May 09
Pop the question when you are both ready, and make sure you do it in a way that will knock her off her feet and make her think you are the most romantic person ever.
@rexertea (117)
• India
26 May 09
you know something, it actually depends upon what sort of relationship you have with this girl. there's no such time factor here. from what you wrote I could figure out you are quite close, you understand each other to an extent. There's no harm putting a question in front of her rather humorously, that way you always have a chance to keep your relationship going in case she says no.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
26 May 09
Thinking about marriage after four months is a bit early. Trust me, I have been with people whom I could not picture living a day without. I dated this man for a year an a half, and I was so in love with him the entire time. And one day, I lost the feelings I had for him. I wasn't happy anymore. I hated our house. Our bills consumed us. All I wanted was out. Him and I still talk, and he still has the feelings for me, but I have moved on. He is a great guy, and I DO love him, but as cliche as it sounds, I am not IN LOVE with him anymore, and I don't think I ever could be again. I have been with my boyfriend now a year and a half, and while I can't imagine living without him, I think it's best to wait another year or two and see if we still feel that way.
@sway2513 (50)
• United States
26 May 09
If you have been together for awhile you should just talk to her about it, see if getting married is something she wants at this point. But seeing as it has only been 4 months I would say you might want to wait a little longer, that seems awful fast to make that kind of commitment, you could scare her off.
@cainam (493)
• Philippines
26 May 09
4 months of being together is too early to finally decide to marry somone. but if you're really inlove you should tell her soon. there is no harm on trying anyway.
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
26 May 09
With my point of view, 4 months isn't enough for both of you to settle down. Though both of you have a stable job and earn money it is not all about that. It is all about the responsibilities and commitment two of you will pour in your marriage relationship. I have been dating my husband for 3 years before we get married. Before popping up the question, why don't you both live in one roof. I believe that you will know the real personality or attitude of one person if you live with him/her in one roof. When you do that, it would be easy for you to know if you two will be a great couple and will work it out in your marriage life. I am not saying that you follow what I have said. Since you are asking for an advice. Goodluck!
• China
26 May 09
lol :)have you ever heard that success will come when conditions are ripe,every one have different matter,may be there is no answer for yours,there will be a unknown pleasantly surprised are waiting for you and her,you will get the good answer when you find that everything will have been riped.
@pratik87 (1927)
• India
26 May 09
i am not married but i would like to tell you that there is no point to delay things.since the two of you are well off financially it is just one problem less to worry about.and if you know that this is the person you want to spend your whole life with then it is better you find out if that is what your partner feels as well.even if she does not say yes immediately and says she needs time you will at least know that you are on the right path.all the best to you my friend.take care.