Why do people ask for help but not do what you need then to when you try to help

@reinydawn (11649)
United States
May 30, 2009 7:56am CST
This never ceases to amaze me. We have a lot of clients who use QuickBooks for their business accounting and they often run into problems and call me for help. I'm the local guru when it comes to QuickBooks - I have only had one problem that I could not solve (yet). So, yesterday this client calls up and she's totally confounded on what to do with her one credit card account - she can't get it to reconcile. So, I have her send me a copy of her file, I look at what she's got and we start to go through this step-by-step. I tell her exactly what to click on so we're in the same place. Then I ask her what is the ending balance on her statement. She gives that to me, I tell her exactly where to put it in the computer. I ask her for the statement ending date, she says the payment was due on such-and-such a date. I tell her that's fine, but I need the statement ending date. She tells me that she entered all the transactions on one date because that's the date she made a partial payment to bring the balance down so they could use the card and that's what's messing her up. So I ask her AGAIN for the statement ending date, I tell her it's usually listed at the top of the transactions, it'll say Beginning balance, purchases, payments and ending balance. So she tells me she's not looking at the statement because when she makes her payments she goes online and gets a printout showing the balance at that time - do I want the date she did that. NO, I WANT THE DATE OFF THE STATEMENT. So I tell her to throw that away and get the statement, then tell me the date. So she gets that for me and we start to check off the transactions that have cleared. I tell her to compare what's on the statement in front of her (which I don't have) with what's on the computer. I'm already done (without the statement) and hers doesn't balance. I tell her to check off the top 10 or so transactions and she tells me that when she made her payment, these other transactions were on the printout from the internet. ARGH!!!! I told her to throw that away!!!! I finally just said "TRUST ME, check off the top 10 or so transactions and it WILL balance." And she does, so we start the next month. AND WENT THROUGH THE EXACT SAME PROBLEMS!!! Actually she had additional problems because she was trying to save time and lumped the charges into only a few transactions instead of entering each one separately. She's now learned that she must enter all transactions, not lump them together, and hopefully she's learned to balance the account from the statement not the bank printout. Am I the only one this happens to? When you're showing someone how to do something do they do their own thing and then get upset because it's not working? How do you handle these people?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
30 May 09
Oh my yes, this is an on going problem with a couple of people in my life. I can not do anything except just do what I can and say the same thing over and over again, and get frustrated because they do things their way instead of what I'm asking of them. Some people can be so tiresome and so stubborn. I do try to look at it in their view and try to resolve the issue but most of the time it does not work that way, like with the lady you were trying to help that just would not listen. Sometimes there is a certain way of doing things and that is it, they just can not see this and do not listen to those of us that know what to do.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
30 May 09
This woman was so hooked on a certain thing and she was absolutely sure it was her problem. I was trying to show her that her problem was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Hopefully she got it or she'll be calling me back next week!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 May 09
I have a friend in Ohio that every time she has a problem or there is potencial for a problem she calls me all bent out of shape and in a tizzy. She cries and is so upset and I'm suppose to give her advice. I do the problem is I hear the same thing over and over again and again, which means she has not done anything or she has but is still worrying. She calls me just about everyday and sometimes 4 or 5 times a day. She finds or makes problems when there are not any there. She is always so negative. I can only take her in small doses, lol.
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@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
31 May 09
Wow! I have friend that I always say I can only take her in small doses! She's pretty negative too. When we go out to dinner or something she complains about EVERYTHING! It's so hard to be around those kinds of people.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9686)
• Canada
31 May 09
I have people like that allllll the time. They call i tell them how to do something step by step and they go but but i did this instead and we go through the process again...and its why not my way...well somedays I have a hard time being nice and not saying well if your way worked then you wouldnt be calling me with in Id 10 t error. I find that theres people who ask for help but they really dont want to listen...there's a few now they call for help and i tell them its just easier and faster if they bring it to me. (5 minutes in the shop as compared to an hour on the phone) I try to be nice polite and encourage them to just bring it to me if possible. Theres also people that have to tell you their error 40million times before they let you try to help. By the third time they descibe the problem in the same phone call i tend to have been reduced to saying mhmm uhuh yes you said that earlier shall we try this now? or trying not to laugh because their descriptions are vague.
1 person likes this
@Archie0 (4667)
31 May 09
I agree that you need a little bit of a change of scenery. Volunteer work can seem like a great idea, but I can understand that sometimes it can be hard to put your heart into helping others when you don't feel fulfilled yourself. Anything at all to stop you hanging around your house can be a help. Even just sitting on the beach reading a book for a while, take a walk around town, go for a coffee in a local cafe. Play a sport if you're into that, try and start playing in a band if you like music. If none of the above works for you, spend some time working out what gives you enjoyment and then do it. Don't frustrate yourself with wanting a girlfriend, if you're not happy in yourself the chances of that working out well are limited anyway. Priority 1: get you happy in your own life. Priority 2: share that happiness with someone else.
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@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
31 May 09
Saundyl - you know exactly how I feel. It can be so frustrating. You are right that it's so much easier to just do it for them, but then they keep having the same problem. I hope that if I can take the 15-20 minutes to try to get them to do it right then they will do it right all the time. Doesn't always work that way, but sometimes it does!
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
31 May 09
Archie- I have no clue what you're talking about, did you respond to the wrong discussion by accident?
1 person likes this