how honest are you with your partner?

@HelScream (2823)
Philippines
May 30, 2009 12:33pm CST
Sometimes in a relationship there are times that we find it hard to be honest with our partner. I was just wondering how honest you are with your partner and what's your partners reaction after being honest with them. Like for example lets just say I asked my gf if it's ok for me to go out with my friends on a brothel house...then my gf would agree and even thank me for telling her this. Just an example .... how about you can you share with me how honest you are to your partner.
3 people like this
14 responses
@spalladino (17921)
• United States
30 May 09
The foundation of my marriage is trust and respect so my husband and I couldn't have that if we weren't honest with each other. He knows how I feel about certain things and I know how he feels so we don't cross each other's boundaries. If my husband wanted to do something that I objected to, I would be honest with him about my feelings and vice versa. What we won't do, in the honesty department, is to embarass each other in front of other people. If we disagree, we'll discuss it in private.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
very well said my dear. It show perfectly how much you respect your other behalf. In deed it is the foundation of marriage and once that foundation is strong the relationship would succeed.
@whyaskq (7531)
• Singapore
30 May 09
I share almost everything with my partner. I can safely say I am honest enough to tell him what he need to know and keep to myself what he needs not know. lol.
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Thats a safe answer my dear. Sometimes there are things better not said I guess. and certain things kept for our privacy.
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
i'm pretty honest. it's so hard for me to lie so as much as i can, i don't. in any relationship i've ever had, i'd be very open in telling my bf (for example) about other suitors bothering me at work even knowing i already have a bf. if i'm going out with a group or travel to far-flung areas, i'd tell him who i'm going out with, who i'm meeting, where i'll be going and for how long. since i keep notes, it's easy to recall those stuff. if he asked about the gifts i receive (flowers, stuff toys, mementos etc.), i don't try to hide the fact even if it came from a male friend. i can't hide my emotions too so if he asks me how i am that day or what are my thoughts and feelings about some stuff or incident, i'm quite straightforward in saying whether i'm excited, happy, disappointed, angry or even frustrated. my friends and family often tell me i'm so transparent that it's so easy to read my moods and when my mood changes. when we were going on a rocky stage i turned to my ex-bf for some relationship advise. i needed someone to talk with. and i was still friends and very close to my ex-bf at the time. after that rocky period, i told my bf about my talk with an ex-bf and how he had helped me thru and gave me advise. when i went to bali last year for two full weeks, i came into contact with a guy i had a crush on before. since it was a seminar and there were only about 3-4 filipinos at the seminar, of course we have bonded and almost together for 16-18 hours a day, staying at the same hotel, have our meals together and some of our course topics too are the same, strolled on the beach as a group and even on the bali tour we sat alongside each other on the car/van. should my bf ask an account of what happened during that two weeks, word per word, i could do that. he even knew i had a crush on this guy because i met him years ago in the philippines... about 2-3 years before i met him again in bali, indonesia. but he also knows that for whatever it's worth, a crush is just a crush, nothing else is involved except for a certain admiration. if someone asks me to lie, he'd be very disappointed because i can't. i'd rather not say anything than to tell a lie. i can't even bluff during a poker game. so they already know if i have a good deal when i said so. -lol-
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
wow that good of you friend. How have you been it's been a quite sometime since i got time to do mylot now sorry about that just been busy for a bit. Your bf is so lucky to have you my dear. What more could a man ever want than to have an honest partner. You are right about that crush thing, it was kind of him not to react other wise when you told him all that. Well I think you have a good bf and you same as with him. You are meant to be.
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
i've been fairly busy myself as well during the last few days. so i didn't do mylot also. sometimes, honesty is just one factor to make a relationship work. and it's not a guarantee that you'll stay together because of it. my bf and i... are currently unofficially and technically not together right now. long story that dragged for 3 years. anyway, we haven't had a chance to talk yet. i don't think i'd go back with him though. too much had happened already and somehow, i have moved on in the past two months that we were not together. how am i today... after having a tiring weekend and sleeping for 14 hours, i woke up to find my files in the computer completely gone... wiped out. some of my nephews and nieces played in the computer and did the internet last night. i had a restful sleep but i was restless the last several hours trying to troubleshoot my computer and recover whatever i can. i was very teary eyed for the first hour. but since i knew that no matter how much tears i shed, it won't solve the problem i had, i just concentrated on the task. i'm doing better now than when i woke up and logged on my computer.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
i think you and I have the same thing going on right now if you can see my other discussion in which i just started about my all my files in my archive which has been dleted you would see that we are on the same situation. try to react on that on my other discussion coz it seems I am so mad just now after checking everything has been deleted intentionally deleted. Oh my friend I know what exactly you are feeling right now.same with me but i am mad coz i dont knwo who did this yet.
@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
31 May 09
I believe being honest to your partner is very necessary if you are sincere to your partner and the relationship between the two of you. I mostly share my everything honestly with my partner and he does the same. Sometimes when he don't understand a few of my problems that gets me worried coz than I don't know if it;s better to share or to hide the situation you are in.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
As they say honesty is the best policy my dear even how deep situation you are it would be best to let your partner know about it specially if it concerns him or your relationship with him. Nothing good ever comes out with a lie. If it is hard for him to accept the truth then face its consequences later on he would either accept it or deny it if he choose the hard reality of the truth then that only means he truly loves you for he has accepted the truth that comes from you. Have a good day.
@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
31 May 09
Well i guess you got me wrong my friend. I never intend to hide anything concerning our relationship and him...I strongly believe that if you are not sincere to each other than there is no point of being in a relationship, actually then you are cheating each other all the time. I was talking about little things that annoys him so i would prefer not mentioning them to him. But if he is in a good mood than I tell him all. Thanks for the sincere advice my friend :) Wish you happiness always.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
oh I am sorry about that my friend now I understand what you mean. thanks for understanding have a good day.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
31 May 09
In any relationship with people there are some subjects it's best not to bring up, you are not being dishonest you are just not introduction that particular subject into your relationship because it will do nothing but bring pain to another. I can tell that my husband doesn't want to hear about any of my other boyfriends so I never refer to them. I don't mind him telling me about his girlfriends so he tells me. But unless I ask a direct question he never gives me details. It kind of don't ask don't tell on painful subjects. Just make sure that one of these avoided subject doesn't come up and bite you later on. Be wise in how you conduct your relationship and use your common sense. When my husband knew he was going to be caught with another woman he told me and didn't let me hear it from someone else. Of course i threw him out of the house. But given time we worked it out, I'm not sure I could have if I had learned from someone else first. Good Luck
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
your husband is lucky to have you as a wife who could understand and accept his wrong doings what you did was just an initial reaction of course to the pain but after that what makes me admire is that you accept him back. I do hope and wish you too good luck my friend.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
31 May 09
At the time it was a matter of dollars and three very small children. I had no way to make a living. It changed my life, I was never in that situation again and I never got back that original trust of him. Before I retired I was making much more money than he ever made.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
my friend I hope that everything is ok now with you. You know thats why until now I am not yet married because I want everything to work between my other half in the future and all I will do is love her when that time comes .
• United States
21 Jun 09
I am always honest with him, always. Why lie? We love and respect each other si why would I jeopardize what we have with a lie?
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
21 Jun 09
yes it does jeopardize a relationship and even destroy it so better go with the truth coz only truth can set one free.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jun 09
If you can't be honest with your partner, then you should part.
@derek_a (10897)
31 May 09
My wife and I have a pact to be 100% honest with each other. Sometimes this is not easy, but we usually end up telling the truth anyway. As a therapist, I can see how this makes for a strong relationship, and trust is one of the strongest aspects in any relationship because each partner knows exactly where he/she stands. - Derek
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
you are lucky to have a partner who accept all of you and she is lucky as well to have a husband like you who could be 100% honest with her. But was there ever a time that you were not honest even to the smallest thing?
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10897)
1 Jun 09
Yes, there has been a time when I have made a mistake and told a small lie, but I have owned up to it later on. The same with my wife. As human's sometimes we will take the easy way out without even realizing, but we tend to correct it as soon as we can. - Derek
@pickoy (733)
• Philippines
21 Jun 09
So honest I can tell him about everything that's happening to me, all my plans or decisions, about my past, everything! I guess when you've got nothing to hide you won't have any problem initiating a conversation or a story or even answering all his questions. I believe I deserve same amount of respect and honesty from him.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
21 Jun 09
yeah its much easier to be honest than to hide the truth from your partner and conversation is quite easy to come since everything that comes out is plain truth.
• Philippines
31 May 09
I am honest with my partner even he is away working, I always texted him where I'd go or what I did for that day. I want him to be honest with me too. He also texted me whenever he wants to go out with his co-workers.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Thats nice to hear well my girl is free to do what ever she wants to do I totally trust her and if she do something bad then it would be her conscience eating her and not mine.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
31 May 09
honest no absolutely in relationship i think.we are human it is hard to be honest always.just try to be honest and be good each other.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
there are limits to the truth or to honesty I guess there are things better left unsaid if your partner doesnt want to hear it to avoid the pain but if they are ready to listen the truth about it then you should be ready to tell it I guess it would be fair right.
@sublime03 (1809)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Being honest is something that needs to be present in a relationship. If you cannot be honest with the person it only means you dont respect the person that much. We all at some point have something we dont want to say but we all have to exercise being honest at all times so that we in return will have our significant other honest to us as well.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Well you might be right in that my friend but i am honest to my gf but dont expect or pressure her to be honest to me as well she can be or keep something form me but I really feel good not to hide anything from her so anytime she asked me a question same answer would come out in my mouth coz it's the truth. And I really hate it when i would be caught up lying to her. I am not a good liar
• China
31 May 09
well,generally I would not like to be a liar or to cheat someone,but sometimes i have to make some white lies because i want to keep them unworried or unbothered or because i just want to keep a safe privacy for myself. i think it is natural and normal for a human .
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Yeah we have to have a little privacy for ourselves a personal space even if you already are a couple there are things you rather keep for yourself and this doesnt make us less of a human.
@bybun46 (19)
• Indonesia
31 May 09
i am one of the person that really support a honesty. it's really need in this life because if we honest to someone, they will honest with you. i am not always honest to my partner because i see what person the are firstly. if they are not a nice person and they like to cheat people maybe i little bit nicely to him/her.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
Well we can never expect that our partner will do the same what we can do is just be honest with them and it would all depend on them to be honest to us and dont expect too much from them. That I guess would lessen your expectation from your partner.
@sk66rc (4257)
• United States
30 May 09
My girl friend & I are completely honest with each other, to the point where we've been told we were nuts... There's nothing I don't tell my girl friend, at least on purpose... There are things I just forget at times... There was one time when me & a buddy of mine went out for a drink & we ended up talking to this group of girls... They were sitting next to us & buddy of mine just struck a conversation with them & we all ended up talking to each other the whole time we were there... Towards the end of the night, one of the girl hands me a small piece of paper with her phone number so I called my girl friend & said, "Hon..!! I'm little drunk & this girl handed me her phone number... I'm not in any condition to remember phone numbers let alone names..." And I started reading off this girl's name & her phone number... My girl friend told me not to be so weird & take her number politely... Don't get me wrong... My girl friend & I aren't involved in group thing or anything... My girl friend trusts me enough that if I won't ever cheat on her... If I'm to look outside of our relationship, I will have enough respect of my current relationship with her to break it off first... She has made it clear to me as well, that she will not ever to look out side of our relationship & if she ever has the need to, she'll break our relationship off first... I think that's only fair...
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
31 May 09
yes in deed if you are that open with each other that only means you trust each other so much and you know what the other person would feel if ever you broke their trust. both of us are the same in this me and my girl are also very honest with each other in fact I really admire her honesty makes me feel trusted and love and in the same way I treat her that way.