I was accused for privacy invasion.....How would you feel in this situation?

Bangladesh
June 1, 2009 7:47am CST
Today my GF just accused me that i was invading her privacy. I don't know what's wrong with her but when she told me that i have deleted all her messages in her YM i was shocked because she put the blame on me. While in fact i even don't know her YM password & also never asked. I don't know what is her reasoning. May be this is because she told me her alertpay password and also password for her gmail and another site i guess. But NOT yahoo password. I even don't remember those passwords except one. I am very disappointed with this behavior of her. She always used to tell me WHERE THERE IS NO TRUST THERE IS NO LOVE. And now she does not trust me. What should i think of this now? And above all of that what would i get by deleting all those messages? I just don't know. This is the 2nd time i am in this situation. The first person who does not trust me is the one who i HATE most & the 2nd the one who does not trust me is the who i LOVE most. Where i am standing right now? Please give me some suggestions on how to handle this. And what would you do if you were in this situation?
2 people like this
13 responses
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
Lately i read a post that her privacy has been invaded. And now Im reading her girfriends post. Lolz! Anyway, just tell her the truth that it wasnt you. Maybe it's someone close to her. But you have to understand her too because she know that its only you and her sister who knows her password so she cant think of anyone else to blame. I mean, you two are her only suspect. Try to understand her and try to make her understand you.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
1 Jun 09
Girlfriend Please check my profile. I am a guy not a girl. I think you are talking about Helscream's discussion. I replied there also. And i don't know my GF's password so there is no way i can log in to her YM. It is the lack of trust he has on me. Otherwise she would have think that the one who loves her would not do anything which will give her trouble. And again i am a guy
• Philippines
1 Jun 09
Yes I was actually talking about helscream discussion. hehe.. So you mean your not her girlfriend? Lolz.. How come your discussion is like connected to each other.. Haha.. She was talking about her girlfriend invading her privacy then an hour after that you came with this discussion.. haha.. that's why I though your her girlfriend . Hehe.. Sorry for that..
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
Hmmm. Now you know i am not a girl.
@mysdianait (65070)
• Italy
1 Jun 09
Hi dark! This is weird. This is the second discussion today about exactly the same situation. It makes me think that it not your problem or anything you girlfriend has done but something wrong with your YM. Look back in this interest and you will ses the other discussion and maybe youcan compare notes with that user because I can't believe that on the same day two people have the same situation without it being weird. As for the other implications, it's sad. I can't imagine ever having that much privacy when I am in a long-standing relationship because there must be trust. If trust is lacking then there is no basis for anything else in my opinion
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
1 Jun 09
Hi mys d, i was expecting you to be here. You may be referring to this discussion http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2026016.aspx Well that's his problem and mine is different since i am the one who is accused. And there is nothing wrong in my YM mys d and i am sure of that. The most important thing is i even don't know her password so how can i invade her privacy? I know trusting someone take a lot. But i can say that among all my relatives and friends or anyone around me i would be the one who can be trusted among all. But there is nothing if the person who i love with my heart and soul can not trust me and just blames me.
@mysdianait (65070)
• Italy
1 Jun 09
What Iwas saying was theif your girlfriend and HellScream BOTH have problems on the same day - maybe it is a problem with YM. I hope you will be able to sort things out between you and your girlfriend dark
• Bangladesh
1 Jun 09
My YM is ok and have no problem and i have checked it. I don't know with her. And thanks for the wishes mys d. I need that.
@zandi458 (27947)
• Malaysia
1 Jun 09
It doesn't sound good if she blames you blindly. She should not have blamed you if she is unsure who did it. But that is part of lover's quarrel which can be solved amicably. If I were you, I would want her to substantiate her accusation. If there is no trust between each other then it is difficult to maintain a long and loving relationship. But if there is true love every small problem can be solved.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
1 Jun 09
I gave her proof that i was not the one who did this. She may have set the option of not saving the files on archive. And when she did not see those files she just blamed me for that. Well she does not trust me totally that's what i know. Though she did not tell me that directly but i know it from her expressions. But i have no doubt on her love. She loves me the way i love her. But her sayings are making me think the other way around. Just so disappointed with what she did to me. She broke me this time. I don't know what she is going to do. But i gave the proof that it was not me who did this. The rest is up to her. I let her decide.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27947)
• Malaysia
1 Jun 09
That is the best thing you can do. Arguing further doesn't serve the purpose. It will only prolong confrontation which is unhealthy for love to prosper.
• Bangladesh
1 Jun 09
I gave my proof of innocence on this. And she would see it. But i don't know where this will take her. Still her sayings roaming in to my mind "WHERE THERE IS NOT TRUST THERE IS NO LOVE". I don't believe in this but she believes it. That's what i am worried about now.
• Saint Lucia
1 Jun 09
I would be upset but would try and explain to her that it wasnt me.I know how it feels to have your privacy invaded because my bf read my diary and texts on my phone he then threw the contents in my face.I felt so naked that someone knew my secrets especially those i choose not to share.He has also accused me of the same but i try no to do that.I hate being wrongly accused.
1 person likes this
• Bangladesh
1 Jun 09
Well there is nothing i hide from my GF and expect the same from her. But if she keeps her distance from me then there is nothing i could not do. Well if i look like this then i am on your bfs situation. She may think that i am doing this to her when i am not. If i want to know anything i ask her and never try to know forcibly. I never stop her from anything. But still there is trust she lacks on me. I have to go on with it. There is nothing i can do. I wish your bf learns to trust you. And one thing i want to tell you that share everything with your bf. That way he may feel better and understand you more. I can say that from my view because . This is my first love so you can also ignore this since i have many things to experience.
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
there are some things in our lives that we just have to keep as ours. mostly because once that person we care about the most finds out about it it might be the source of a fight or another fight with the same reason that happened before. let's be realistic about this trust and love thing. you want the love to last so you put in trust. but if entrusting a person with so much that you know would just endanger the relationship then save the love first. put trust in other aspects of the relationship. that's what trust in love really is in its pure, effective, time tested application . after all, what might be okay for her might not be okay for you. it's the same thing the other way around. good luck!
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
Well you said it very nicely. And i think it is how she thinks. I trust her completely but she is not able to trust me. Sad to say but i am not good enough.
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
i see that you really love your gf for a person always sees the best in the person we really love to the point where we feel we are not good enough for them. that is not true. they chose to love us because we have something they don't. that in itself, is good enough. if it is good enough for somebody we love and who loves us then it should be good enough for us.
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
She told me that she loves me as i am. But if i want to give her a better me then is it wrong? For me there is nothing enough. I would always want to give her more.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
2 Jun 09
Sometimes when there is a technical glitch, I get frustrated too. Why not you check with yahoo, or go to the help button. In twitter, there has been a bug going on too; some people cannot upload their profile pictures. I think both you and your girlfriend aren't at fault. Don't worry, she'll be alright soon. Perhaps she is frustrated at something else and not you. If you really do not do it, just tell her nicely and leave her for a few days to collect her thoughts. This helps most of the time, trust me. Both of you are great with each other, and both of you trust each other so much, I'm sure.
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
I trust her totally but she does not. Well i can not help it if she does not trust me. This is what i am supposed to get i guess.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
2 Jun 09
Hope she realizes soon enough that you aren't the one that deleted her YM details. Don't worry so much bro, let's hope things will be fine for you soon.
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
Thanks for your wishes friend.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6252)
• Malaysia
2 Jun 09
Hello darksorrow, Whenever both of you are angry, it is better for one party not to argue. Let things cool down first before you discuss the matter further. I understand how you felt and being blamed for something you didn't do, by your loved one, is very painful. Maybe in her anger, she thought that you deleted the messages because you are jealous. I am not sure what's the content of the messages. Try to calm down and talk to her later when her anger and also yours, cool down a bit. When you love someone and get to know that person deeply, you will find more differences instead of similarities between the two of you. And if you love someone, try to accept those weaknesses instead of her strength points. Hope every thing will be solved quickly between the two of you!
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
Hello gr8life, i know there are many of my mistakes. I can not control myself when i am sad or angry. And i do things which i never intend to do. I was very sad because how could she think i will invade her privacy and do something which will give her trouble. I can never imagine to do that to her. And i always try to know her more but she does not let me. Even goes with a safe answer. She knows that it makes me sad when later i come to know about it. But still she does it. She is not able to trust me. I don't know if she ever will. I always ask her many things so i don't do those which will make her sad. I ask her so i can improve myself for her so she can get a better me. But she never gives me the chance and hides things from me. May be this is the way girls are supposed to be. This is my first time i am in such a deep relationship. And i always try to be a better person to her knowing i have many lacking. But she has to give me the chance to do so. And i know we have differences. I can accept that. I can accept anything and even anything which is very bad from her. But if she keeps her distance from me then i can't accept that. Thanks for your wishes gr8life. Your response was very helpful for me. All your suggestions gave peace to me. Thank you again.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6252)
• Malaysia
2 Jun 09
Hello darksorrow, I am glad to know that I helped you a bit. Some people like to keep everything to themselves. I am one of those people. I don't like people to know too much about me but at the same time I want to be loved and to love someone. My principle in this matter is simple (at least to me) - I keep secret if I know that my loved one can't accept it. If only I tell the truth and it will make me distance from my love one, I rather keep it with me forever and lead a happy life. No one gets hurt for that. Maybe your girlfriend is not ready for a deeper 'intrusion' in her life because she used to that kind of life and sorry for the word that I used here to explain that. It is good that you try to get to know her better and you should keep trying to know her. At least you will know which she likes and which she doesn't. Being in an argument with a loved one is something hard when your feelings towards here are above everything!
@camomom (7535)
• United States
12 Jun 09
I truly hope this has been resolved by now but my first impression is that she has something to hide from you. What was in these "deleted" messages? Why is she so mad about it? Why does she think you would have deleted them if they weren't private? You are right, no trust = no love.
• Bangladesh
13 Jun 09
Actually she believes this no trust= no love. It's her words. And she was so sad because she wanted to keep our conversations as treasure. That's why she was so sad. Well everything is fine between us now.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
14 Jun 09
I'm glad things are better and that that was her reason for being upset.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
hmmm thats funny bro I have this situation with my ym too but yours is different lol . By the way why are you always implementing that your GF doesn't trust you.every comments I read from you says your GF dont trust you are you sure?What made you say this, Bro dont be unfair to your gf as well by saying this it is also like blaming her that thing about trust try to search your common denominator first then you will leave by to any hardships in life. It takes time to fully trust a person ans same goes with you what I think is you dont also trust the love she gave to you. Give it time bro then in time you and her will come to have a deeper trust with each other. TIME is what both you need to have that strong foundation called TRUST and by the way I am a guy
• Bangladesh
9 Jun 09
Yeah. I was not giving time and expecting too much too early. Well i have improved myself the other way around and she won't have any complain on me. And what do you think after reading this will she be able to TRUST me? Anyways glad to know you are a guy otherwise everyone was thinking you are my GF.
@HelScream (2823)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
well thats good to know from that experience you learn to grow up a little more each day bro sometimes in mens life one has to grow in order for them to be mature on things keep it up and theres still a long way to go you only just begun my friend the road ahead is bumpy be sure to wear seat belt. yeah right I was laughing so hard when I see your discussion right now and to think you made this last week... I think we are soul friends..... thanks God I am not a girl or else they would surely think I am your girls dont want that to happened
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
Lol! I can't help but smile when people thought you're related to helscream. It happened to him also. Well i guess you can prove yourself that you are innocent. She can't just accuse you of something you didn't do unless she has solid proofs. If she doesn't trust you still then i guess she doesn't deserve you at all because in love, there should be trust. I don't think she has the confidence in you. Ask yourself, do you have a potential to become a cheater?
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
Well i gave her the reason why she does not have those messages in her archive. And i think she will get all of them back. I think i don't deserve her because i was not good enough to earn her trust. I am not good enough who could she rely on. And i don't know if i have the potential to be a cheater. Because i never tried that. I will never try to cheat anyone. That goes against my ego to cheat someone. Have a nice day.
@subha12 (18452)
• India
2 Jun 09
I think I have seen the discussion today like that in mylot. A lady is compaining her privacy is lost. I think when trust is lost, very little is there in relationship.
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
when trust is lost, very little is there in relationship - This way my GF thinks. But i don't think so. Love should not be relying on anything. And i think you are talking about helscream's discussion. Well it's a coincidence that we started the similar discussion the same day.lol
• United States
1 Jun 09
Sounds to me like she could be hiding something from you. She's insecure and suspicious of you possibly snooping for a reason. I would confront her about it, but don't directly come out and blame her for hiding something from you. I could have it all wrong, but I've been in that situation before and it has ended badly. Good luck to you.
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
I love her enough so such kinds of pains won't be able to make me leave her. She is my first love and i love her from the depth of my heart. I will never leave her for any reason or anything bad she does to me. Well friend it's sad your relationship ended badly. Mine won't be the case, at least not from my side. Thanks for your wishes.
@lingli_78 (12836)
• Australia
1 Jun 09
i'm so sorry to hear about what is happening between you and your gf... i suggest that you have a talk with her and asked her in a nice way why she is accusing you... does she has any evidence at all for accusing you??? a relationship without trust is hard to maintain and you definitely have to fix this matter with your gf ASAP if you still want to continue with the relationship... good luck... hope everything will went well for you... take care and have a nice day...
• Bangladesh
2 Jun 09
Well i know she is not able to trust me totally while i am totally honest with her. And i don't hide anything from her. From her side she thinks trust is necessary for love but i don't think so. And that's what made me sad that she does not trust me and is there any love left for me after that? And from my side i love her enough so that i will never let her go. Whatever she does i won't ever break the relationship. But i don't know about her. I feel stranger because she hides things from me. And refuse to tell me if i ask. Well thank you for your wishes. I hope she learns to trust me someday and don't hide things from me.