Just how do please people?
By nuemann
@nuemann (332)
United States
June 2, 2009 7:20am CST
I have a couple of friends that I have been relently trying to please and be there for them but they have all taken my wanting to be nice to be gullible, and this has not fared well for me, as I now feel so used and unappreciated. I have come to a conclusion based on they way they have been acting that living alone for oneself is the only true way you can truly be contented and appreciated by others, but somewhere in my heart something tells me it is wrong , so please I'd love to hear your opinions and feelings of being taken for granted, unappreciated and only called upon in times of need like a fireman! Happy lotting,
Worried Nuemann.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
hello, maybe it is really true that we can't please everybody! no matter how good we are there are still some people who will not appreciate us. but as long as you know that you're not hurting anybody just continue on being good...and one day they will remember all the good thing s that you've done...some just don't know how to appreciate or just don't tell it but deep inside their hearts they do...
so don't give up on being good, so what if they don't appreciate it, atleast you've done your part!
and don't do something just to please someone...do things for you know that tha's the right thing to do and just be yourself...me, i don't try to please anyone, i just do what i think is right, i appreciate what people do for me, i help someone who's in need, i give advice to my friends if they ask for my advice, i'm there when they need me, i respect their privacy and i'm just being me...
i hope one day you're friends will appreciate what you're doing for them...
have a nice day! :-)
1 person likes this
@nuemann (332)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Some people just tend to take your good nature for weakness and this affects the way you perceive them and interact with other people. but when they come back to you after a while complaining of some difficulties that seem overcomable only wth your help , I guess you do have to rethink your decision to help...whenyou hold back they tend to say you are self serving and egocentric! Why would someone you have alway shared intimate moments with, someone you helped get over a very hurting experience turn back and stab you in the back by denying yout he attention of listening to you, paying back a loan and making you run hether scether just meeta dealine they created in the first place only to act non chalantly? Am truly being me but sometimes I can't help feeling used and important!
@nuemann (332)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Thank you very much, Am not sure this message has gone or not but the fact is that all your points are noted and will be given considerations. But in other not to be called a selfish and self service individual and wanting to be there all the time, not being being jealous by giving too much respect and room for thir privacy hasn't helped much but I can tell you that it sure feels good to be the reason that another smiles! Thank you once again!
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
oh well, i can't blame you if you feel that way...but if you feel that you're just being used then why you still continue on being friends with them? yes they are your friends but do you think you are their friend? or are they just a friend in need? have you tried to talk with them about this?
if you know that they are really like that and you can't help your self but help them when they need you...then just do help them and maybe it will be better if you don't expect anything in return from them so that you won't be hurt...
its better to give than to receive...just continue in doing the right thing and as i've told you, there will come a time that they will remember and appreciate all the good things that you've done for them!
and i hope it will be soon...:-)
@nuemann (332)
• United States
2 Jun 09
Now am sure that there is something missing in my post! Yeah I get you like letting them know my boundaries and that all that, but do you know these people are my friends and a few of them are very intimate ones. When they come crying I can't help but break my back, and sometimes you wonder why would someone with a proble that has made them cry ever go back on their word! I like the line " If people don't please me, I won't please them" but don't you think that make you seem like an egocentric and self serving human? I have tried to give love and attentio in such a way that I do not expect nothing back bt their attitude keeps tearing me apart! Thank you I will take a cue...
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
2 Jun 09
I do not like to be pleasing people always. I do so within limits and when they get very unreasonable then I just pack my things and leave. I stay very far away from them. People don't change too often. Cheers!!
@nuemann (332)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Well am a kind of people person and that means a lot of people get to come around and interact me with everyday, and in the midst of all these I get to leave very touching moments that tend o make them trust or rely on me so Iget the baggage of a bad day, a bad experience and stuffs like that. Most times I feel the urge to be there and a helping hand because they have come with their problems...so I hop and fell beaten when they are smiling again...
@pengbubu (1011)
• China
2 Jun 09
You are yourself, you don't have to please anyone.
For me, I don't want to please anyone, but I always try to do things I opine it's right. I don't mean to hurt any of my friend. To some degree, I am a honest person, so my friend always treat me well.
Everyone is selfish, we don't have to hide this, I think.
@nuemann (332)
• United States
3 Jun 09
Well to some degree I might everyone is selfish but what then is friendship and living to be a shinig light in the life of another? Whats the essence of having and not being able to share. Everyone might be selfish like you said but when other tend to be more concerned about your welfare can you also say they are being selfish?
