Is it wrong that I love him?

I've always thought that way before I got here. Its not like I just chose to be this second fiddle. We are really good friends first, and lovers second. We have both tried to leave each other alone several times over the past two years, and still keep coming together. He's had three relationships over this time, and I have been the mainstay. A part of me is saying that I am doing myself a disservice by accepting the treatment I am getting being this other woman, for all intensive purposes, but at the same time, he's been completely honest with me when I've asked him things, something that I've never gotten from any relationship before. I feel like if things get too thick for me, I can pull out; instead of getting my feelings too wrapped up in a dream. I guess that is why I titled this poem as such. I don't want to glorify my position, but I like where I am at, weirdly enough. Is it wrong that I am happy?

No, to each his own. If you are happy, that's what's important. I just believe you will eventually want more, and hope he is able and willing to give it when the time comes. I do wish you all the best.

If I were on the outside looking in, I would probably label him a dog too. I probably do deserve better than this, but I am happy with what I have. I cannot say he is a dog, because a dog would never give me the chance to know what I know. A dog would not drop everything on the spur of the moment just to make sure that I am alright. I don't feel down about myself; what I feel is bewilderment at my happiness at the situation. Yes, I do want more out of life, but I am satisfied at what I have now. I'm not waiting for him either. He doesn't tell me what I want to hear in order for me to stay. He sells me no dreams. He tells me exactly what's going on, and lets me decide to deal with it. Outside of sleeping with other women, which he tells me about, he has treated me better than even my children's father. I'm okay with the running around, because I understand he's young. I want him to want me for me and it to be his choice, not because I forced his hand into something. I have the same exact right to be with another man, I just choose not to. I do hope that this grows into a strong relationship, just as strong as our friendship has been. But if not, I feel that I am better off having known this feeling we share, not robbed of anything special.

Exactly, another reason why I feel this is perfect for now, is that he is younger than I am. I don't want to force his hand into anything, because I know it will only make for pain down the road. I have loved this man for two of the three years we've known each other, I don't want to do anything to ruin that. So if that means for now he is able to explore us, as well as other relationships, I'm fine with that. Its not like he's the only one with that right lol. But I enjoy every second of us being together, no matter what we do, and I will continue to do that until my needs change, or he decides to step up and make more out of this.

Hey, I wasn't sleepy when I wrote this. In fact this is something that has been floating around my head the past few days! But I do agree with what you're saying, when its time, I will know what to do. I take comfort in that thought, because the last thing I want to do is to rush things. Also, I don't think I am doing myself any injustice. I know what is going on completely, and I choose to forge forward after a relationship. I'm not being deceived, and for once, not being hurt.

You are a bit mislead in this Hannah. He isn't the one making me think that I am the one for him, there is a connection between us that we've tried to deny many times, but haven't been able to. As far as marriage is concerned, if it does happen it will be some time down the road; I'm not concerned with getting married at this point. He may live with another woman that he sleeps with, but whenever I am in trouble he makes way to come to me, day or night. He has come to rescue me when I felt threatened, he has helped me many times when no one else could, regardless of who he was in a relationship with. This goes far beyond just the words he tells me when we are together, its the dedication he's shown me since we've met. I've never asked for this dedication, never required it, but still he gives it to me.

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I wrote this poem because sometimes I feel like, isn't there more to this? Should I really be this happy with the situation at hand? Any other woman would be jealous in this situation, but at the same time, most other women wouldn't get told the truth, or at least handle it as well as I. When he tells me of other women, I do get a small jealous streak, but its quickly squashed because he puts the choice in my hands whether to deal with it or not, instead of doing things behind my back to keep up appearances. I hope one day he will move in and it will just be us, but for now, I enjoy the way things are.