Eyes wide shut, how do you handle these people?

@lisan23 (444)
United States
June 7, 2009 7:45pm CST
I'm referring to those who choose to remain ignorant, even when you show them how they are wrong. If I'm wrong about something I have NO problem saying that. There are a lot of subjects that I don't know a lot about. When I mess up, or when I'm behaving poorly, I have no problem realizing it and addressing it. BUT why is it so difficult for some people to realize that they're wrong about something? This happens to me in real life a LOT. I'm part of a local book club and I live in an area that is VERY republican. I'm an independent who definitely leans to the left. I usually keep my political comments to myself, however there is one woman who constantly pressures me and one other woman (who happens to be a very staunch Democrat) to prove her wrong on things. We usually don't respond, but then she brought up healthcare. Now this happens to be the political issue in which I am MOST passionate about. I think taking care of every citizens health should be a TOP priority to any government that truly serves it's people. I finally responded - I have spent countless hours reading and finding material on healthcare in the United States. It's something that I definitely know about. As I was speaking up, so did the other woman who is a Democrat. It turns out her husband is a surgeon and that she also wrote a grant for the community to help get a medical clinic here. We showed this woman the numerous flaws with her statements, and we weren't nearly as pushy as she was with us. Well, she also happens to be the "head" of the book club and she kicked us out! All the other women agreed with her that my new found friend Terri and I were causing discord!! Instead of having a conversation with us and discussing the issue then getting past it, she kicks us out of the book club. It all reminds me of high school! And most of these women are over 40! I simply cannot understand how some people can voluntarily choose to lead their lives in such a little "shell" without caring to know what really goes on in the world.
3 responses
• United States
8 Jun 09
Welcome to the hen house. I noticed your statement that you think that taking care of every citizens health should be a TOP priority to any government that truly serves it's people. That is an opinion that you have built an argument on. Many have other opinions that they build arguments on. I find it interesting how debates can take opposite sides and have some very fine points on both sides. That is why I enjoy a good debate so much. It helps me to look at both sides of an issue. I can see how there can be two passionate opinions on this subject. I am not sure that a debate ever changes what we feel so deeply inside. I wonder why this subject even came up at the book club. Was it a part of what you were reading? I am not trying to take sides in this matter, but I have found that some subjects are best to stay away from when socializing with groups. I am thankful that we can all have an opinion in this country and that we can all participate in our government. It would be so much better if we could take our passions and use them for the common good. I am sorry that you and your friend were kicked out of the book club. I hope that you can find a group that is more tolerant of your views. No matter what anyone thinks one way or the other, it makes me sad that there was enough anger to cause hurt.
@lisan23 (444)
• United States
8 Jun 09
No, none of our books are political in nature for a reason. However, this particularly woman was aware that Terri and I were both more liberal in our political beliefs. Where we live is very VERY republican. We'll usually discuss the book we're reading at the book club, then we can bring up other good books that we've read and make recommendations. This woman ALWAYS recommends books by Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and the likes. We ignore her. She also brings up political things on a regular basis. We ignore. Both Terri and I were actually at the local antique shop, bumped into this woman, and she started talking about politics. She basically goads us to respond or get angry with her. We've never done that. We finally responded when she made some inaccurate statements about healthcare in the US (stating that no one can be turned away for healthcare - yes they can, that people come here for our excellent healthcare - when medical vacations taking US citizens outside the country for care are on a rapid rise, and that healthcare really isn't that expensive - when it's cost has been inflating faster than ANYTHING else for years) but even then we didn't argue with her or get angry with her. We simply pointed out that some of the information she had on the matter was wrong. She snapped back at us, asking what did we know anyway, we were just a couple liberal hippies. To be honest, after thinking about it, I'm really not that upset that I got kicked out. I don't think I wanted to remain a part of a book club with a bunch of sheep who just follow this woman and whatever she says.
• United States
8 Jun 09
Ahhhh, now I understand! This woman is divisive and love does not flow from her. I do not want to jump to conclusions but I wonder if she professes to be a Christian, if so I guess she has never read I Corinthians 13. If she is not a Christian then she is just being nasty without trying to hide behind anything. That to me is just a tad bit more admirable. I would like to address this if she is a Christian: Many people get confused by people who say they are Christians but do not show any Christian fruits. When you look at a fruit tree, it becomes evident what type of tree it is by the fruit that is hanging off of it. This is also how you tell if a person walks with God. They have the fruits of LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL (Gal. 5:22-23). I usually like to give a person the benefit of the doubt and observe over a period of time before making a judgment of what fruits a person is exhibiting. Hmmmmmmmmm, shall I take it one step further (oh, why not)! When you see someone starting a fight, here is what is written in II Timothy 2:24 about a servant of God: "And the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome (fighting and contending). Instead, he must be kindly to everyone and mild-tempered [preserving the bond of peace]; he must be a skilled and suitable teacher, patient and forbearing and willing to suffer wrong." (Note: a servant is any Christian and the word "he" includes she also.) I am just giving you one verse from the Amplified version of the Bible. If you go and read the next verse it is even more convicting. Jesus said that many would come in His Name, deceiving many. I know that many Republicans are "Christian" or call themselves such. There are many who walk in the fruits of the Holy Spirit as listed above but there are many who do not. That is the confusion that the world sees about Christianity. That is why so many so-called "Christians" through history have done so many terrible things to others. This is not a true Christian. A true Christian does not have to toot their horn, you just know when you meet them that they are different in a GOOD WAY! I am so sorry for the hurt and harassment that you and your friend have endured. Please know that these people make a real Christian's life very miserable also. You have done according the scripture (more than this lady) in avoiding dispute. May God bless you and your friend and give you people into your life who are genuine and kind and that you will be able to let go of the evil that was done to you.
@MyzDy19 (919)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
When I encounter people like that I just leave them that way because they are already grown ups and they have their own mind. Mine is...I did what I can to explain what's on my mind then it's up to them to think about it. There are many people like them scattered in the whole world LoL and we can't do anything to please them ^^
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
8 Jun 09
Over the years I have learned to walk away. I have several of these people in my life and I just really try not to have any "serious" conversations with them, especially about any of the hot topics that I know they will do nothing more than show their ignorance and well in the end piss me off because they are so set in their ways and refuse to even think of seeing things from anothers point of view