Why is it when man cheats it's okay but when woman cheats it's not okay?

@Azaerus (820)
Philippines
June 8, 2009 11:34pm CST
I really don't get this..howcome when a guy cheats on his girlfriend or wife everbody says it's okay just forgive and forget and give another chance besides "he's a guy"...but when a girl cheats on his guy everybody disgrace you and hate you and sometimes even curse you...can't ladies be given a second chance like guys do??my friends says it's all because the world is too sexism..but I don't beleive him maybe there's some kind of explanation for all of this... Whats your opinion friends?
2 people like this
22 responses
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
hello... that's also a question i am asking...why why why? i remember when somebody cheats me long time ago, i am really hurt and have a thought of having a vengeance, my mom told me..."forgive him, its ok, he's a man and you are not yet married...but don't ever do what your thinking because you are a girl and that will not be good for you..."HUH!?! up to now i don't get it...why its ok for a man and not for a woman... but anyway, i think either ways are not ok...so what if he's a man? it is still cheating! and i think everybody deserves a second chance as long as they are sincerely asking for it... have a nice day! :-)
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
that's exactly my point..that man okay thing when he cheats is really craacking me up..anyways it really depends if he should be given another chance because in many situations second chances will never work things up..
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
hello again... second chance works for me...coz that somebody i'm talking about is now my husband! :-) so obviously i gave him second chance and now were living peacefully coz i finally forgive him and moved on..and he proves to me that he deserves the second chance that i gave him...
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
hi there again too..well that's good for you..
• India
9 Jun 09
I think nowadays its OK for both men and women to cheat, separate and move on with life…no issues at all. However, you friend is correct in the sense that the world is too skewed towards the men and woman have always had a bad time. Women mostly used to forgive their husbands for cheating coz they had no other option. Women did not earn independently and their parents did not want to take them back…so compromise with a flirtatious husband was their only way of survival. Men had no such problems, obviously, and they would rather blackmail their wives into either accepting or leaving for good!
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
I think you've got it all wrong...actually now a days it'sproven that most percent of people with work are women...the jobless thing and being dependent haven't got much to do with the cheating thing..
• India
9 Jun 09
If you will note, I started my response with ‘nowadays’ meaning that now women have more economic independence and hence they can move on if their partners are cheating BUT in times when women weren’t economically independent, they had to compromise. Even now, in many countries women do not work…so they compromise with abusive, flirtatious, drunken husbands’ every whims and fancies.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
i think it will never be ok for either a man or a woman to cheat...it will always have an issue if cheating happens in a relationship. maybe it looks like its ok coz some can easily move on but it will never be ok, even how independent people are...
@med889 (5952)
9 Jun 09
Cheating is very bad as one can go away from that person uner mutual agreement so I believe that people who cheat on their partner are greedy ones because they want to enjoy both sides equally so this is bad. Now As your question indicates I have also come under this conclusion by a friend of mine.She had forgiven her hubby very easily and when she was only talking to someone else her husband was so furious that he accused her of cheating and she could not bear it and got divorced because the husband was not mature enough to understand that. So here we have seen that it is very difficult for the man to forget and forgive the woman while the latter can do it very easily for him. It is all a fact of maturity. unerstanding and nature. One needs to be very open minded but at the same time very faithful also to expect the same from the other one.
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Women are more mature than men when it comes to facing the reality..
@med889 (5952)
9 Jun 09
Yes I also believe in this, and women are better planner than men too as I read in mylot itself. Maybe we unerstand things better than them in both perspectives.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
yes i agree, most of the time women are more mature and i think stronger than men when problems come...
@anetteh (3591)
• Sweden
9 Jun 09
God morning, Azareus, Welcome to Mylot, hope you will enjoy staying in this great forum. Why is it when man cheats it's okay but when woman cheats it's not okay? Cheating is not OK at all, for female or male. It is not OK at all. But for some reason they do anyway. And I can not really understand why. Why cheat in the first place. You are in love with your partner, and then why need to look for something els. In my opinion anyone who cheat, should live on their own, not being in a relationship at all, they just should stay single until they are ready to settle down.
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Hi there good morning too..thanks for the reply..well,I think sometimes the problem here is that sometimes love isn't there anymore no matter how long the relationship is that's why one cheats..neither way cheating is still not the solution..
@agv0419 (3027)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
I agree that here in the Philippines the treatment is not the same. When the woman cheat everybody judge her and put a bad impression on her unlike when the man is cheating they say that it is natural to a man to be polygamous. Which for me is not acceptable cheating is should not be tolerated.
@ckyera (17342)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
some don't intend to cheat..they just get tempted...not because they sleep with another woman means that they don't love their wives/girlfriends anymore, there's a lot of reasons why people cheats...but most of the time they just regret things that they've done...
@check23 (448)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
i think its because they people think that women should be good at all times and in whatever she do so that they will be a good example to their children and to others... Maybe... =D
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
That's true but either way men should behaves the same too..:b
@manish92 (24)
• India
9 Jun 09
yeah !! Girls are known for their elegance n sincierity !! But boys are taken for granted in this matter !! So may be girls are blammed when they cheat !! Boys are used to it !! haahaha...........
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
if you're in a relationship you should both should be sincere..if the guy is just used to how this goes and he really isn't sincere with his girl then maybe they should end up the relationship..there's no sense in having a relationship without boths sincerity and honesty..
• Malaysia
9 Jun 09
Well it is because of man's ego when they cheat it is like it is okay and there is always a good reason for it and we women should forgive them. But when a woman does it, it is a shame to him as he fear when people know about his woman is sleeping with other people it will hurt his pride more than anything. I have had friends who are couples and we had similar discussions before and basically it is more of the ego and pride ...the fear of being teased by his mates or anyone that his woman is a bad woman and so on. If a guy really loves and understands his woman...both will be able to talk this through and what seems to be making this problem arise in the beginning.
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
waah..mens pride and their ego..I think men wouldn't exist without those two..
@brtfeer (54)
• Romania
9 Jun 09
because a man is a man and a woman is a woman.
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
what do you mean by that??if you could give one valid reason why it's ok for a man to cheat and not for a woman then I'll agree with you...but I dont think anyone has the answer for this..
@kryzell (921)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
I am not sure how you came up with this thought...because as for me, either way, may it be men or women, it is still cheating, no matter which angle you look at it. I don't think it's okay for me if man cheats either... if you're talking aboit how the public looks at it, well, as part of the public, I hate cheating!
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
here in our country that's how people see such things when it comes to cheating..I really hate almost everybody here talks about it...I guess it's just how the way it is around here..
@kingpong (166)
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
Well thats easy, its because when a lady cheats, she carries the evidence, whereas if a dude cheats someone else bears the evidence. ahehe.
• Philippines
10 Jun 09
cheating is not,and will never be,ok.regardless of the gender,it doesn't matter who does it.it is hurtful,especially to the one they hurt.it will leave emotional scars that will take a long time to heal.the person that got hurt may have a hard time to trust somebody again.it degrades the persone who cheated,and he/she will find it difficult to have someone trust him/her again.
• India
10 Jun 09
human behavior is so possessive a man is always more possessive with their stuff's also woman is much more possessive with their own stuff. now about cheating is always bad but in the bad society it is good yes it true when man cheats it is ok but when woman cheats we blemish her why why why because man always dominate woman earlier but now a day's changes are going on so now a days both can cheats each other
• United States
10 Jun 09
Theres nothing right for a man to cheat. a cheater is a cheater no matter how u look at it.
@AlyssaCB (68)
• Canada
9 Jun 09
I dont think its okay for either a man or a woman to cheat cheating is wrong, and if you truly loved the person you wouldnt and if its the fact that you dont love them anymore, then break it off first.
@cbjones (1155)
• United States
9 Jun 09
It's more of a lack of trust issue. A lot of women kinda expect men to cheat every once and a while. As a dude, I'm just a tad bit offended by that. If I'm in a serious relationship with a women, I want to to respect me as much as they would assume I would respect her. When a women does it, it's more shocking to some because they are seen as more loyal to their partners. Infidelity is not exclusive to male or female.
@Citychic (4071)
• United States
9 Jun 09
Why is it when guys cheat it's okay but now when girls cheat? Hello Azaerus, I know exactly what you are saying. Sometimes a person forces you to cheat if they stop making love with you. I'm not excusing cheating but I do know exactly what you are saying. Guys cheat all the time, sometimes they will peep at another girl when you are right there in there presence and to me that is the same as cheating because they are lusting for that other person in the mind. Then they will tell you. I got eyeballs to look with. But still that shouldn't make it alright. Where is the respect I wonder? I do think that it's all because we live in a sexist kind of world and as they say, a man can lay around with a ho, then get up the next day and put on a suit and he will still be considered a decent and respectable man but if a woman goes out and sleep around she would be considered a ho. I just don't understand it. I think it's a double standard that exist in our society no matter how much we'd like to think that it doesn't.
• United States
9 Jun 09
i think the way most people look at it is men are going to cheat, thats what we expect , because in the earlier years men cheated and the women couldn't say anything! personally i believe one is just as bad as the other! women are likely to forgive and forget where when you cheat on a man you crush his pride and their not so forgiving!
• Philippines
9 Jun 09
Well, that's the culture we all know and that's unfair. There should be equal treatment on both sexes when it comes to infidelity. I don't also believe in the saying forgive and forget. Because once my trust is broken, it is very hard to regain.
@mizthang (21)
• United States
9 Jun 09
It is never ok to cheat no matter if you are a man or a woman. Cheating hurts not only hurts the individual being cheated on but also the one doing the cheating. As my mama would say "the grass may look greener on the other side, but that's just because you are looking at it the wrong way. From a health standpoint, there are far to many diseases being passed around like skittles. It healthier to stay faithful.
• India
9 Jun 09
this is correct, excellent