what do you think about this poem?

Philippines
June 11, 2009 2:53pm CST
THE NIGHT MY HEART DIED Last night, i dropped numb on the floor. My body laid pale, movements were no more. The silence of stillness as the swift wind blows, Clothed the night, with loneliness as it goes.. And as darkness filled that vast empty room, thus triggered a memory which came out of the gloom A memory of two souls that vowed to forever, A memory of a love, pure and stronger than ever... But the memory broke to pieces when lightning cut through... Like the day it all ended, the day I lost you. last night was the night, I couldnt run nor hide... LAst night was the night, This heart of mine died...
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Dragon17 (53)
• Morocco
13 Jun 09
Hi !! If this poem for you ,it's realy wonderful . You followed the rules of poetry free , that's mean that you are a good poet .Tried to strengthen the knowledge in this field . we wait ather poems..^^
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
Thank you so much... I never expected such wonderful feedback. Promise that I will write poems for you guys. Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart!
@eileenleyva (15591)
• Philippines
13 Jun 09
Good poetry, hoodedboi. Did you write it? Is it for real? They say poetry always reflects the thoughts and experiences of the poet... Good poetry though. Next time you write I hope it's not about love lost but love found...
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
Thanks, yup this is my original poem... I wrote it a few years back, and yes it reflected the thoughts when i was going through a tough time back then. Yeah, i promise I'll try and write another one. Thanks again!
• United States
12 Jun 09
How sad. Nice poem. My favorite lines were, And as darkness filled that vast empty room, thus triggered a memory which came out of the gloom. A memory of two souls that vowed to forever... it sounds like a residual haunting of a dark bedroom and when lightening flashes they disappear. I enjoyed the red, thanks for sharing.
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
Thanks for the nice comment!... I appreciate it....
• United States
11 Jun 09
Ok so this pome was nice. It reminded me of a new age Romeo and Juliet. The vibe started off slow and built up. I could really see the pain felt.
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
Thanks, what a powerful comment... Thanks again,,
@hubbort (13)
• Philippines
15 Jun 09
I like the scary part. but over all, i love your poem. truly a work of art. wish you could make more. Happier theme next time perhaps.