How Do You Deal With Someone Who Is Miserable?

I want to be left alone it's true, I want little or no people engagement because I don't trust people and I am suspicious of their ways, I think that comes to being in abusive relationships and being bullied, I am always questioning peoples motives towards me, so I find it far easier and simpler just to put a wall up, the wall being my miserable face which tells others to leave me alone, end of...

I am a different person online to the person I am offline William my friend, I can be myself, be happy and content online, offline it's a different story, maybe that's because I prefer to spend my evenings at home in comfort and risk free. I guess I have a big mistrust of people.

youre awesome!!!

If you are not part of the discussions at work and if you are a loner people don't like that that is true and they tend to make things up about you, for the sake of gossip! I was always quiet at work and never revealed anything about myself, people soon started to make things up about me and in the end I had to speak to quash all the stupid rumours that were floating around, I hate office politics and I have no time for gossips or people with nothing better to do than to make up stories or talk about others behind their back. I just go to work, do my job, get paid and that's it, I am not their for the social chitchat or engagements so that makes me the black swan evidently.

Absolutely Wolfie.And the discussion is becoming very interesting.

Some people I think don't know fun even if it hit them in the face! Even fun can be viewed to some as misery. I think some people are happier when they are miserable because it's like a security blanket to them it keeps people away and when you have been miserable for so long it's hard to break out of the norm.

My step-mum is one of the most miserable people that ever walked the face of the earth! Its almost as if some people are happy being miserable, as odd as that sounds. Sometimes I feel she creates situations just so she can have something to moan about, if she won the lottery she would probably chop off an arm just so she could still complain about something! Its hard living with someone like that because I like to try and be happy but people like this seem to have a way of dragging your mood down with them. If she goes to a party, an hour later everyone else has gone home!! I feel sorry for her really because life must be awful if you cant ever have any fun, its almost like misery isnt a feeling its who she is. The best thing to do is try and keep away from miserable people and when you are with them try not to let them drag you down too

I guess that is why I feel more comfortable, sociable and happy online too my friend. I have lost count the amount of times that people have come up to me to say don't look so miserable I just want to tell them to B*gger off and mind their own business, I can't help the way I look and it's probably because I don't want to be where I am that I probably look miserable anyhow! Poor Mr Croc, I can relate to depression as you know, that damn black cloud!

I agree there are people who enjoy wallowing in their own self-pity and nothing is every good enough and nothing no matter how small or big can make them happy, they thrive on being miserable and making others miserable too, I think I am not that bad!

Hi Positive minded , l enjoyed reading your blog, l live with the latter person and have children together. Before l met him l travelled the world, adventured , worked hard and just l loved life. I thought alot about the human brain and how we can make individual efforts to shape our thinking into a really healthy positive life style. l think life is a beautiful special place , l love people and socializing and interacting with people and my children fill my heart with joy.I feel really honoured to be here alive on this planet with love in my heart and understanding for my life and my thought patterns. I live with a miserable person who doesn't smile much , wakes up tutting and throwing threats around about how the kids behave depends on how his day will be. He constantly tells me l make him feel like a bad person and that l judge him and put him down and l make his life horrible for him. even if we have a lovely family outing planned it is such hard work as there is tutting and cursing and turned down mouth about the smallest thing , so l tend to do my own thing now when l want a lovely day with the kids and not bring him. l think he choose to be with me as he liked my naturally bubbly nature , and he feeds of it , when he really gets to me l don't give him a smile or share my joy with him he has a go at me saying l am out of order . I have not really liked my weekends for years and just concentrate on getting through to Monday when he is back at work. In the last few years it is apparent that he does not want to change and defends his personality by saying "l am just being me ". I feel a fool for staying with him for so long but promise my self he will never get to me and never take my light away from me. I have alot of barriers up to make sure he cannot feed off me too much as l would hate to wake up feeling like him everyday. My son is a great happy Boy and l love that , my daughter is a bit full of Woe and l am hoping l can give her the tools she needs in life to overcome that natural Woe. I feel sad for miserable people and so blessed not to be one of them. However it is a life choice and l feel that there is a very selfish side to this self obsessed miserable behaviour. I wonder why l did't find my self someone who wakes up with a smile on their face and finds life a joy. For all you people that have a mister happy , hug and love him you are lucky . Firefly X

Hi Positive minded , l enjoyed reading your blog, l live with the latter person and have children together. Before l met him l travelled the world, adventured , worked hard and just l loved life. I thought alot about the human brain and how we can make individual efforts to shape our thinking into a really healthy positive life style. l think life is a beautiful special place , l love people and socializing and interacting with people and my children fill my heart with joy.I feel really honoured to be here alive on this planet with love in my heart and understanding for my life and my thought patterns. I live with a miserable person who doesn't smile much , wakes up tutting and throwing threats around about how the kids behave depends on how his day will be. He constantly tells me l make him feel like a bad person and that l judge him and put him down and l make his life horrible for him. even if we have a lovely family outing planned it is such hard work as there is tutting and cursing and turned down mouth about the smallest thing , so l tend to do my own thing now when l want a lovely day with the kids and not bring him. l think he choose to be with me as he liked my naturally bubbly nature , and he feeds of it , when he really gets to me l don't give him a smile or share my joy with him he has a go at me saying l am out of order . I have not really liked my weekends for years and just concentrate on getting through to Monday when he is back at work. In the last few years it is apparent that he does not want to change and defends his personality by saying "l am just being me ". I feel a fool for staying with him for so long but promise my self he will never get to me and never take my light away from me. I have alot of barriers up to make sure he cannot feed off me too much as l would hate to wake up feeling like him everyday. My son is a great happy Boy and l love that , my daughter is a bit full of Woe and l am hoping l can give her the tools she needs in life to overcome that natural Woe. I feel sad for miserable people and so blessed not to be one of them. However it is a life choice and l feel that there is a very selfish side to this self obsessed miserable behaviour. I wonder why l did't find my self someone who wakes up with a smile on their face and finds life a joy. For all you people that have a mister happy , hug and love him you are lucky . Firefly X

Sometimes I feel that being miserable for me is a security blanket which like negativity I cling to, I don't feel comfortable around people, I like my own space, my own company and I have a big mistrust of people as well, paranoia and suspicion so it's far easier and riskfree to push people away, hence I walk around with misery tattooed over my face and it works, people don't approach me and that's the way I like it, so I guess I have adopted this stance for so long that I don't want to or don't know how to change it. I have tried opening up by just saying hello and smiling but that's usually met with negativity from others, so I gave up! I know where I stand as do others when I walk around with a leave me alone face on.

I prefer my own company too, life's far easier that way, people only complicate my life and after having a couple of abusive relationships there is absolutely no way I want to attract anyone so I will often give people the cold shoulder and it works, they must see the card on me saying 'Leave Me Alone' I think it's more of mistrust of people than depression. Life is simpler being alone and yes I have a face that looks miserable, I can be happy but only with the right people and they are very few and far between sadly.

I think some people I count myself here expect toooo much from life and we are easily disappointed. Life ain't a bed of roses, far from it, I guess it's easy just to give up and sometimes it's just easier to accept everything life has to offer and don't expect much more, if you get more then it's a surprise, rather than expecting everything and getting one massive shock!

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. I just want to be left alone, I am much happier when I am alone, I am a very private person who prefers his own company because I have been used to it, I enjoy life better, no complications and a risk free life away from people, I feel safer online because I can be the true me, offline I am totally different from the person I am here.

Oh, some people are not that scary! I should admit that your luck was not that good before since you went across so many crappy guys! If you were in my town, we would be very good friends. That's for sure! :D Don't be disappointed with all the other people you have never met just because the bad ones you happened to encounter! I gotta go now! Good luck

That's a difficult clash isn't it, like too totally different opposites! Negative v Positive, I think negativity can be far more powerful and influential that it does tend to be overpowering and destructive especially to those close around that person!

Some people just seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and prefer it that way, in actual fact being miserable can actually be a bad habit to fall into, you are miserable for so long you forget to be happy and I guess your work colleague falls into this trap. Yes I am much happier when I am left alone.

Yes, i think he is into the trap already. As for you, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be left alone all times but don't forget the people around you who cares for you. Give them a little of your time every now and then. Have a nice day my friend!

That definitely sounds like me! I do have an attitude and people do not want to be around me or approach me which is great! So therefore I get ignored and treated as invisible, I have had this all my life so it makes no difference, I am not missing out anyhow, I am just selfish with my time and I don't like sharing.

She has a good friend in you, I think you have a lot of patience!

Some people I guess are not happy unless they are miserable if that makes sense, and yes in a way it's a self fulfilling prophecy isn't it.

I have a huge placard around my neck saying 'Leave Me Alone' Do NOT approach under any circumstances! I prefer to be alone, hence the desperate need to live alone, I was at my most happiest when I had my own flat and no one to answer to or bug me. I hate small talk and for me if someone starts to talk to me, straight away I think what are they after!!! That's how deeply paranoid I have got of late. I guess being miserable is part of my defence mechanism, that probably sounds like faulty thinking.

Ah - that didn't answer the question! How do I deal with miserable people? Well, there are two types. One type merely wants attention, and likes people to fuss over them and feel sorry for them. The other type genuinely want to be left alone. The first type, I ignore - the second type, I respect where they're coming from.