are you a transparent person or good on pretending?

@ckyera (17332)
Philippines
June 19, 2009 12:32pm CST
hello everyone! i come to ask this question because i feel that i am a very transparent person and no good on pretending. let say, i am talking to someone and said something offending to me, they can easily say that i am offended coz they see it in my movements and reactions...it seems that i can't just continue on talking to them the normal way and pretends that as if nothing happens...when i am sad, people aroung me can easily recognized that. when i don't feel good about one person, even if he's a friend or someone close to me or to anybody they can easily see it coz i just can't pretend to be okay if i'm not... but i know some people who can hide their feelings about another person...people who can pretend to be all is ok even if its not... how about you? are you a transparent person or are you good on pretending? or do you know anybody like that? which do you think is better? thanks and have a nice day friends!
2 people like this
12 responses
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
5 Mar 10
Oh God ! Have you written all about me now? When I left college one of my lecturers told me that I had a very transparent face .In fact it is my biggest failing.I can never hide my feelings.I try to but my close people say that my face says it all.Now what can I do? Actually , it is better to hide our feelings because the world is generally like thAT.And especially, with close but not so close[what I mean is when we have certain compulsions to interact with certain people], this should be cultivated.Iam middleaged but I have been unable to do this so far.
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
hello kalav, i agree with you that sometimes its better that we know how to hide our feelings, i think this can help us protecting ourselves... right now, i am trying to be not that transparent, i hope i can be a success! hehe but i don't like pretending to be someone that i am not...huh! kinda confusing but just like what the other posters here said, we must know when to and when not to pretend or hide our true feelings... thanks for sharing..anyway, maybe somehow we have the same character...haha of being transparent!
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
19 Jun 09
I'm definitely not a transparent person.. haha =D Because i always appear happy go lucky to my frenz, be it in real life or online ^_^ I dun see why i need to spread my sadness or unhappiness when i know i will get over it soon.. hehe ^_^ Furthermore, it's not that i dun like sharing, it's only that i wanna depend on myself more ^_^ BUt when i'm really sad, it's very easy to see from my facial expressions as laughter will be completely wiped out from my usual actions and words.. INstead, red eyes will some glitter in it, will be showing as if a waterfall is happening anytime.. haha =D
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
20 Jun 09
lol =D SOmetimes, it good to be transparent, so that other will be able to know about us better.. BUt dun be too transparent about all our emotions, because there are always some ple out there, waiting to exploit us on that area ^_^ It's good to show your emotions easily, but only to the right ple, whom u trust ^_^
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
aw...thanks for the advice!
1 person likes this
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
ows? hehehe. i can feel that you really are a happy person... that's also a problem with me, i am a happy person and always have a smile for everyone, but when i get offended or i feel something annoying with someone, they can easily recognized it because my smile will become different...although i try hiding my feelings, it still shows.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Jun 09
I try to pretend a lot. However family & friends always figure it out from my face. So i can call myself transparent. lol. No, I'm just kidding, I'm very transparent and can not hide my emotions. Got into trouble many times for that :). But i think this is the best way, atleast your being honest. Have a great weekend CK.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
hi there...its true that sometimes being so transparent can bring us to trouble...i experienced it and i am sometimes tagged as a very sensitive person... thanks parthasarathi!
• India
23 Jun 09
Yes. I know what you mea. I have been there too, and still the same :-)
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
at least we understand each other... i think its something that's hard to change about me. i have tried to hide my feelings but that seems very ineffective...all comes out naturally to me ( i mean my reactions when getting hurt & offended...)
@ralphido (842)
• India
1 Jan 10
...some may say that i am as deep as an ocean. but others know better..happy mylotting :)
@ralphido (842)
• India
3 Jan 10
hey..now you don't bring your household quarrels to me .. :)
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
3 Jan 10
nah...no household quarrels at all...hehe i just remember that my husband is somehow like you, being as deep as an ocean but i know him better! hehe
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
2 Jan 10
huh! just like my husband... thanks for sharing!
@simonelee (2715)
• China
23 Feb 10
Hello there. When i was still studying i can say that I'm good in hiding my true emotions. Why? Because i have too or maybe i learned to practice it because of the people surrounds me. In our University, you have to be strong and deal with those people who have attitude problems in able to survive. You have to pretend, be "Plastic" or be like them in able to avoid conflicts. Towards my friends, i don't hide anything especially now. Once i don't like the words they utter you can see it right away that there's a sudden change of facial expression. That means that i totally disagree of what she/he say.hahahahaha
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
hello simone, well i agree with you, there are times and situations that we need to hide our true feelings. sometimes we also needs to be 'plastic' to protect ourselves...haha and sometimes just to avoid conflicts just like what you have said... and it usually happens in school & some workplace... well, with close friends, i think it will be a different thing, we can be more transparent to them or sometimes even if we don't want to, they just can really read us...coz they know us!
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
yeah yeah, sometimes its also needed to be accepted in a group. something like that. which i think is not really good... coz we become other people already, far from who we really are. huh! i agree with you, and i am not one of those who are very good in hiding true emotions...i think this is one thing that celebrities have...
@simonelee (2715)
• China
25 Feb 10
That's totally true. We are forced to do that in able to retain good relationship with colleagues or with our schoolmates/classmates. If they are really a our "friends" and know us really pretty sure they will know it if we are offended or not. But, there are people who are really good in hiding their true emotions.
@Aaleexix (2290)
• India
8 Feb 10
Transparency and retention depend on the situation. People are slaves of the situation. people does that situation compels him to do for. After reading your discussion I look back to my past. I have tried to judge myself, How am I? But fail to say in a single word am I transparent of pretending person. In conclusion I find that I am neither transparent not pretending but I am complex person.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
hello aaleexix, after reading your response, i also as k myself the same question..how am i in the past? haha i'd like to believe that i am a transparent person, well i really think i am coz people easily see my inner feelings ( at least for those who are close to me & knos me well), but there are also time that i think i am good in pretending...haha i don't know, coz sometimes i pretend to be strong & happy even if my heart is breaking... so i think you are right, we are slaves of situations...and our acts usually depends on the situation! huh! thanks!
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
yeah yeah, sometimes i also feel that way, that i am like a stranger but i know that somehow i also know myself more than anyone else. but there are still some things that i do that surprises me, and that i can't believe nor imagine that i was capable of doing such things...huh! life, sometimes really confusing!
@Aaleexix (2290)
• India
9 Feb 10
We can't penetrate ourselves. I feel that knowing about self is almost impossible. We feel ourselves as strangers.
@dierdre (2207)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
Im good at pretending. When someone says something offensive to me, i display a neutral reaction, but i'll subtly cut my communication ties with him/her if we used to talk often. But if i dislike someone, i wont show it to them, and i'll still be civil to them and talk to them when they talk to me. Coz why would i make it apparent that i dont like them when i could easily hide it right? But when it comes to dealing with my family, what you see is what you get. If im pissed with my dad or brother, i'd say it straight to their face.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
28 Jan 10
HI cky.., I am usually very outright to the person i talk to if i am offended by his/her remark, and demand immediate halt to the remark, if not, i will either walk away or refuse to talk with him anymore on the same topic, may be you want to refer me as "transparent personality" since i let you know my feeling on the spot. I do know person who like to pretend but show her displeasure later on when the other party is not around, sometimes due to legitimate concerns like in a difficult situation she is in, i don't blame that person at all for pretending, it all depend on individual situation at that moment in time. I don't really know which is better, sometimes it is that individual personality , trait or even upbringing or culture that make a person like to pretend. Personally i like to be around an 'outright' (transparent) person.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
29 Jan 10
hello lampar! i think its a good thing to have transparent personality at times...but like what you have said, depends upon the situation coz there are times that we also need to pretend a little and control ourselves so that we can avoid more troubles? but its also good to be frank sometimes to stop other people in taking advantage on us... as to my part, i also find myself being like that of your friend, coz some situation calls for it...hehe thanks lampar & nice to see you here...
@shibham (16977)
• India
26 Nov 09
hi ckyera. honestly i am both. when i see that i should maintain a defensive attitude then i pretend otherwise i am transperant. u can say me an open book. everybody can read the chapters of my life. thanks.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
hello shibham! well, i think there's nothing wrong with it...just know when to be transparent when not to be... thanks!
@whizkid08 (715)
• India
19 Jun 09
Am more of a pretending person... I like keeping things to myself and not showing them up. If I am hurt by someone, it never happens that the person gets to know about my feeling. As my friends say, I am Unpredictable!! Yeah, one drawback in me.. Sometimes, I infuriate crossing my limit.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Jun 09
well i think you are really good on pretending, i wish i can be like you. many times i tried to pretend to be something but most of the time people can easily recognized what's really inside me... thanks whizkid for sharing...
@meggggg (155)
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
Sometimes you have to pretend so as not to hurt another; if you're annoyed sometimes it's better if you don't show it. but not all the time..
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
i know...but in my case i think my reactions are just coming in naturally...and my eyes cannot really hide anything... i am a cheerful person, smiling all the time when with friends and when i get annoyed, i still smile sometimes but...they still feel my real feelings even if i hide it in my smile...they say, my smile is very different when i am hiding my feelings...it lacks something...i do not know how it differs but it is only they(my friends)who can say & see it...maybe they just know me well...
@common_man (1799)
• India
25 Feb 10
I am also a transparent person, not able to hide my emotions, or mental conditions. My face, my eyes are too expressive to tell it all. I know a few persons who can wear smile on their face, while their heart is crying. I failed to understand, why they do so? Are they trying to fool people around or they fool them selves. To me, it apperas that being transparent is better.
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
hello common_man, well those people who can manage to smile evn if their heart are crying are just trying to protect themselves & their loved ones as well. sometimes we need to appear strong in front of our loved ones, specially when you are the one to whom they get their strength... i think its not trying to fool anyone or what, but its just that they want to keep their feelings to themselves and cover up the pain that they are feeling through smiling, coz they don't want other people to worry... well at least this is my reason coz i am one of those who can still smile even my heart is crying...only difference is that, my lips do smile but my eyes can't really hide the true feelings inside... sometimes its good to be transparent yes, and sometimes i think its also good to know how to hide your true feelings...this holds true to some celebrities, and some business men... thanks for sharing.