Who will u choose? Parents or bg/gf?

@Wink24 (167)
Philippines
June 29, 2009 11:05am CST
Hello..:) here's the situation: you're in your college years and your parents told u not to involve yourself in bf/gf relationship,finish your studies first. But one day your close friend,whom happens to be ur crush all along, ask u if u can be his gf. u know for yourself,how kind hearted he is and how much u admire him and looks like it's not just a crush anymore but love. What will u do? Follow your parents or your heart? Guys can also answer too, what if you realized that u like her and want her to become ur gf,what will u do? follow ur parents or ur heart? Thanks for those who'll answer. Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
13 responses
• United States
30 Jun 09
Why can't you have both? Parents can't make relationship choices for you. I don't see why you can't have school and a relationship as long as you stick to your school work. Stay strong and do what you think is right, in the end you are in control of your own destiny.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
hello. thanks for the response. but what if your parents ask you to choose between your potential bf or them. we always say that we'll still focus on our studies though we had a bf/gf but we'll never know what will happen in the future for love is uncontrollable sometimes especially when it is now there.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jul 09
I would still do both but yes education is very important.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
oh i see, so you're the one who is rally deciding for yourself. nice one.^^,
@kaorulen (258)
• Philippines
30 Jun 09
if the both of you really love each other why not fight for your love on your parents.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
yup, but how can you fight when you haven't prove much to yourselves since both of you are still studying, most of the time, parents insists that they know better than us since they already experienced it. thanks for the response
@kaorulen (258)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
because i myself is still studying and i have a bf, but my parents didn't now about it, my bf and i are much in love. and we are now planning to tell it to my parents. we are both nervous, because I'm still studying, but if you truly love a person no one will ever command or destroy your love even if it is your parents will. that is my opinion. if you happen to really love a person no one will take you apart from each other. as its said that "loves conquers everything".
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
5 Jul 09
hello. that's a brave decision of you. but don't you feel any guilt within your yourself? i understand your point, if you really love him, then fight for him. but when it comes in choosing between your family and your loved one, a loved can be replaced but not a family, in my opinion. anyway, good luck to you and your bf, hope that your parents will understand your situation and accept your bf. :) happy mylotting to you
@acie_21 (5640)
• Philippines
3 Jul 09
i also tried that situation but he was my schoolmate,i was still 13 that time,i was older than him maybe 3 years.he courted me because he said he loves and likes me so. i also feel the same way too.we have a secret relationship my parent doesn't knows about us.but they feel that i was hiding something to them.many people notice our secret relationship and we still both denies it.our relationship was on and off.till my parent knows about us i told everything and i fought for our relationship till both of us went to college and i found out we are never meant to be.because i choose the men i want to get married with w/c is older than me who does have a stable job and a good future and i love him more than my bf.now im very happy and i realize that my parents are really right at all!
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
Wow.. too early?.. You're 13 and he's 10?..hehe.. Anyway, it's good that u've made the right choice. I also believe that parents know best but i think not at all times.hehe. It's really hard to be on that situation and i think we should not be in a hurry about love especially if we're still young. Thanks for the response. Happy mylotting.
@acie_21 (5640)
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
yeah wink.... but i never regret any of it.. his my first love and till now were good friends... and i know he still loves me..and he makes me feel that im special to him.. but as a good friend.. and im very happy and blessed in married life .. the future is much more important to me now.. thanks!
@myx_03 (540)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
Hi Pren,^^, you choose a hard question.Hehe... Well, for me I will follow my heart, if my parents going to hate me because of that, I still and follow my heart, I never let that the time will come that my conscience hurt my ear because of letting go my hearts happiness. Happy mylotting!
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
Hmm.. Hard?. Kinda?.hehe. Thanks for the response pren. that's nice that you can make decisions on your own, i wish i can be like you, brave enough to decide on my own.hehe. Happy mylotting.
• United States
1 Jul 09
i'm kinda in the same situation. my parents don't want me to be with my boyfriend. i followed my heart though and started dating him. it was the best decision i have ever made. we are getting married and despite all the things that i have to go through with my parents and my family, i wouldn't go back and not be with him. i dont' see it as 'choosing' between your parents or a guy. your parents should support your decision and want you to be happy. i know from experience that my parents say they just want me to be happy and are worried about me, but your parents, as well as mine, should know they did a good job in raising you and if you choose to be with a guy when they don't think you should, they should know they can trust you. i'm so happy i followed my heart cuz now i have the man of my dreams and my mom is starting to come around to the idea and i couldn't be more psyched!
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
thanks for the response. what a nice story, just like in fairy tales. ^^, anyway, thanks for the advice, well said. and i hope you'll be happy always. ^^, happy mylotting
• India
30 Jun 09
Come on we all know how paranoid parents can be about their kids . They tend to miss the fact that their kids have grown up and no longer needs their hand holding . Even if they have issued a strict directive about relationships I dont think things can snowball so much out of control that one has to choose between his or her parents and the object of his or her desire. If expained properly they can always see your point because they are your parents and as a result of that they are more matured unless one's parents are the Hitlers (no pun intended) . But you have to substantiate your argument . Great grades might be that irrefutable proof
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
hello. thanks for the respond. okay, we already try to explain it to them, but sometimes, parents really believe that they know more so as a result, though they'll listen, they just listen but not understanding it and in the end, their decision will still be implemented.
@LiAXaZu (184)
• Philippines
30 Jun 09
it depends. parents can be really paranoid sometimes and think that if their child starts to have a bf/gf, it would affect them negatively. i say, prove them wrong. :) if you really like someone and you know that you are going to be happy with him/her around, then why would you keep yourself away from it? it all depends on the person's attitude and not whether he/she has a bf/gf. be responsible. :) but... if you really want to impress your parents and you can do away with a bf/gf then that's good too. depends on your choice, basically.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
thanks for the respond. well said.^^, happy mylotting!
• United States
30 Jun 09
I would personally show my parents the utter most respect and I will respect their wishes, however if I fell deeply in love with that person and they fell in love with me and we both wanted it to go further(as in marriage), I would talk with my parents about it. If it was the type of situation where the two people really wanted to end up getting married and they couldnt see each other with anyone else, I could see putting it off until you finish your studies, still have a relationship but leave the intimate stuff until later on. If you dont see that person as the person you can spend the rest of your life with, then obviously its not worth making you parents angry. Because in the end, he is just a guy and he will walk out of your life sometime (if your not meant to be) but they will always remain your parents who love you and want the best for you! ;) Better to let someone who doesnt mean that much to you go rather than anger your rents..trust me
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
hello. thanks for the response. you had a point but thinking about marriage is a way too far and though we think about it and certain about it, maybe someday that decision will change because we can still meet many people. happy mylotting
• United States
30 Jun 09
Why not? What if he is the man of your dreams? I understand their concern. If you get too wrapped up in this relationship it could negatively affect your studies. And if/when you break up, it will probably also negatively affect your studies. But if its what you want then I say go for it. You only live once and a life without love is no life at all. Maybe make it a point to study together (but actually study together ;-) haha) Good luck! I hope it works out for you.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
thanks for your response. so true, that relationship will had a big impact on our studies, but okay, you know that you really want it but your parents didn't, meaning a big no. what will you do? fight for it though it will affect family relationships, or be committed secretly or just let it pass? happy mylotting.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
30 Jun 09
It is a tough situation to be in when you are stuck between your family and your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can show your parents that a person can have a boyfriend or girlfriend and focus on studies. I mean my ex helped me with my homework and wouldn't come over until I finished my studing. If a person you care about maybe love doesn't understand the importance of studies like your parents do, then he isn't worth it.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
hello thanks for your response, you had a point, but when your parents still not agree or not given you a chance to prove it, will you still continue having a commitment?
@flaky03 (225)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
I would follow my parents advice not to involve myself in a relationship while studying in college. May be get to know each other and mutual understanding with someone will do for be as long as there are no commitments on the side. I experienced that before and it is very hard especially if along the way you'll break up with your girlfriend your academic performance will be affected moreover if you are running for honors.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
hello. thanks for the response. it's really hard when that day comes, but why breaking up when it's legal anyway? will you not try to ask your parents about this especially if you had the feeling that that girl is the one for you?
• United States
29 Jun 09
Well why don't you talk to him about it too.... let him know that you are a little torn and let him know how your parents feel. See what he thinks about it, see if he's willing to wait or if it's a "now or never" kind of thing. But when it all comes down to it, the decision will be up to you. There is nothing wrong with following your heart, just make sure that's what is best for you.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
29 Jun 09
Hello.. Thanks for the advice.:) Actually, i'm not the one into it. i guess your right, and at the same time, that would also serve as a test to him if he's really serious with what he's asking..^^ happy mylotting!
@galileo2008 (1146)
• Philippines
8 Mar 10
I think I wouldn't tell my parents that I have a boyfriend until I'll graduate from college. In that way, they will not find out about it, but I have to make sure that I will really find time to study. I should be more focused on my studies and I have to make sure that I will get good grades, so they will not be mad at me if ever they will find out about my "secret affair"...at least I can tell them that I'm doing good with my studies and having a boyfriend will not hinder me to finish college, right?