What makes somebody a loser?
By caesarin
@caesarin (1089)
Indonesia
June 30, 2009 8:02pm CST
I have a friend who loves his dad very much but realizes that he's a loser.
So this is the story as she told me.
He is a very kind. He always makes other people happy and likes to help other people.
But he never say no so he never being really successful with his business, unlike his wife. So let's say that the wife is good in business while husband is good in losing money, but not for gambling or women. It's for helping other people or being cheated.
One day he wants to go somewhere to help his relatives who are recognized by the whole big family as a liar. He cheated lots of his relatives money. So my friend tried so hard to knock his father's head telling him not to go there but he just insisted to go.
Off he went and returned with nothing.
My friend said this is just one thing proving his father a loser. There were many more.
Does everybody of us has this part that we call it a loser within us? Maybe we are a loser anyway but the level are not so high.
What makes somebody so that we call them a loser actually? I don't want to misjudge and I don't want to judge. But if things are too much for me to take, I don't want to make any mis-judgement.
Thanks everybody.
4 people like this
13 responses
@zearah (5381)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
One who quits(to his goal and purpose) is the loser, for a "Winner never quits". When you've done your best whether you fail or succeed it's not the basis as you win or loss. In my own perception, it's how many times you stand up after you fell down the true meaning of winning. After reaching to the end line this is I consider I win. It's a priceless fulfillment when you found an answer to your quest! When you got the prize of knowing your strength and weaknesses. Avoiding this things to happen in your life means you lose.
2 people like this
@larish (2191)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
I think everyone has its soft spot or what we usually tag as weaknesses. The father might have his own reason for always helping out other people. Your friend cannot understand his father because I think they don't talk much.
As for me, going back to your question where I feel like a loser or let say when was the time I felt so weak was when I resign for a job because I was for promotion and by accepting it my boss then will be demoted from his job. I felt that If I choose the promotion... yes, I will be successful in my career but I cannot enjoy the position while seeing my boss suffer. He's been so good to me. I cannot live on that kind of setting so I decided to resign so that my boss then will retain his position. Most friends & colleague find it unwise decision but for me I gave a lot of consideration on my values. Yes, I felt how people look at me as a looser but it is my conscience that gives me a smart choice. As of now, I am so happy where I am and have no grudges on anything. I just hope that those people who have misjudge me will by this time understand why I came up to that decision.
Thanks for this post. It reminds me of my past and was given the opportunity to express myself to people I barely know. Happy myloting.
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
Hi Larish.
1. You're right. My friend's family is not good in communication I think.
I don't know why they become like that. Perhaps it is from her parents' relationship.
From all of her stories, it's very obvious to me that the whole family didn't communicate well. It's so sad but nothing I can do to help.
2. I can understand what happened to your past. But there might be two reasonable facts at that time.
A. The company thought that you can contribute better than your boss.
This was not your fault, maybe the company thought that your boss were being incompetent.
B. You don't feel like OK to replace your boss.
I might do the same if I were put in your position. I had a good boss too in the pass.
Now his friend hired me for home office job based on his reference. It was really helpful because I really in need.
Since it's home office, I can look after my child while working because it doesn't require me to go out a lot. Also, I have some time to look for extra money at home.
Sometimes, or mostly people have lots expectations on other people but share different perspectives. But congratulations to you. I'm glad that you are finally happy with your decision and don't regret it.
Thanks for sharing.
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
I think there's no one born a loser. In this case, I think some people are just not spiritually enlightened. I don't find any word to describe it but just that.
I hope you are inspired to be enlightened cause it'll let you enjoy your life than regret it.
Cheer up!! =)
Thanks for sharing.
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
hello caesarin,
For me, one is really a loser if he/she gives up already for what he/she is fighting for. In life there are many ups and downs. Let's keep trying to succeed.
In the case of your friend - the husban, I think he is not a loser but he is stupid. Forgive me for saying such a bad word to him. Helping his relatives is just fine, but there should be a limit. Helping them more will make them worst for they will be parasites forever. He is not really helping them for the good.
Hope that his wife will talk to him - heart to heart talk, so he'll realize what he is doing for his family too. 
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
Hi robert. I understand your word. I'd rather call this type of person stupid too. I agree with you that too much help could make people parasites. They become dependent.
His wife had given up on him and though they are not divorced, they live separately. I pity their children. They grew up with less respect to their father.
1 person likes this
@darkstormy1 (264)
• United States
1 Jul 09
Personally I think your friend is the loser her father the way it sounds is not a bad man not out there cheating drinking or other devious things many men are out there doing what is his major flaw he wants to see the best in people OMG WHAT A TERRIBLE PERSON WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE I am sorry but that makes him a loser would he be a winner if he was selfish money absorbed and all out for himself that would make him such a good guy
I am not upset with you but your friend needs a reality check her father may be gullible but loser I think not. In fact in some ways the opposite for the fact that he never quits on anyone even when he should instead of putting him down maybe she should really look at his heart
Maybe have a talk with her some of us would kill to have a father like this maybe she should appreciate it instead of calling him a loser
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
At first, I think I would call her father stupid. Because one should know when to stop in whatever they are doing when things are helpless when it starts to put you in harm or danger. I was like her father in the past. I like to help people no matter what but it makes myself a fool. I know I shouldn't be like this but I need to find certain ways to help people instead making a fool of myself for helping other people.
Thanks for sharing.
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
9 Jul 09
Well, if he can help other people without being a burden for other people then those that are not agree with what he's doing should walk away out of his life.
The fact he's dependent to his family too. He didn't earn steady money, so how he can help when he also still need help.
@darkstormy1 (264)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I am not saying one way is better although I think calling him stupid or a loser is very disrespectful the only thing this man has an issue with is seeing the best in people maybe gullible but no need for insults maybe he thinks it is better to see the good even if he turns out to be wrong rather than some cold hearted person only out for themselves family is suppose to be supportive encouraging not insulting this will not have any affect except the opposite of what you want instead of putting him down try and help him see the light but still personally I think he should walk away from all you
@Fernstrm (3)
• Sweden
1 Jul 09
What i think makes somebody a loser is a people who cant be honest about what he/she does. Myself i dont care som much 'bout making ----- what i value is family, friends, or people close to you. If ur a person who is on top of an big business empire but you dont have any friend i would call it big time loser!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
1 Jul 09
i always think that a loser is somebody who quit on doing something that he/she is not capable of doing anymore... the person gives up altogether... that's when i call a person a loser... as long as the person still trying and not giving up, i won't call the person a loser as there is always HOPE for him/her... as for your friend's dad situation, i think your friend and his wife has to have a talk with him and tell him that what he is doing is not right... he has been used by other people for his generosity and that has got to stop... but i don't think that he is a loser... take care and have a nice day...
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
Hey,
Well I think someone is a loser if they don't stand up for what is right. If they just give up and not actually do much with their life, then I think that is what makes a person a loser. I feel sorry for his father. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@ashadeep_senapati (275)
• India
1 Jul 09
No there is not such part of us which can be called looser. But it is the person who makes himself a looser. If some body expect something from you and you don't stand upon that then they seems you are a looser, but the don't care what you are good at. Your friends father might be good at some thing. Tell her to find out the what her father can do the best. It can be helpful in solving problem of her father.
@bailey2009 (174)
• United States
3 Jul 09
Someone is a looser when they are constantly putting down the efforts of others but they fail to try to accomplish anything themselves. I distance myself from people who are so quick to criticize and put down other peoples dreams and goals in life, but sit on the couch everyday doing nothing.
That is my defenition of a looser, someone who fails to try!
@nitu1952 (286)
• India
1 Jul 09
As there is a famous saying"everything is fair in love and war". in the same way if one wants to achieve something in life then one has to sacrifice various things for it. but this is not right if we sacrifice everything for the sake of something which is not very important.
@caesarin (1089)
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
Yeah, sometimes some people could sacrifice everything for something that's not necessary. We should pity them and if possible, help them. Because their minds are shallow. I don't know how many people in this earth are aware of their being, who realize that we are temporary visitor on earth in this life.
Thanks for sharing.
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
1 Jul 09
First, not all people are good at making money. Although they try very hard to earn, sometimes, it becomes a matter of being "just my luck". But this doesn't mean the person is a loser. Second, a person always has a soft spot in his heart for some people. If it means sacrifice on his part to help this other person, then so be it. Again it does not mean he is a loser. There are winners and losers in life. A person who brings happiness to someone is a winner to me. Tell your friend to understand his father more.
@Kritz7861 (49)
• United States
1 Jul 09
For me a loser is someone who is fake or tries to be something there not. Also someone who complains alot about little things and takes life for granted. Nobody should do things like that to you're family or cheat anyone out of money.
