The art of communication is close to dead! Odd habits are forming I reckon!
By James72
@James72 (26790)
Australia
July 2, 2009 1:38am CST
Some may argue that the art of conversation is rapidly starting to die out in this world and I'd have to agree I'm afraid. Computers for example have removed so many of the true social elements from our lives and we seem to becoming more and more distanced from each other when we communicate.
So what this means is that people are becoming less confident with how they communicate with others and even starting conversations with people can be a challenge for many when they;re in a real face-to-face situation. The bumbling fool comes out in the best of us and the oddest things can sometimes pop out.....
One of my favourite conversation starters is "Have you ever seen a gladiator fight?" and I'm yet to see someone NOT take a step backwards whenever they hear that one..... I've had a complete stranger make a passing reference to a woman's breasts as she walked past; had someone ask me if I thought another person in the room was gay too. I don't know about you, but these to me are weird ways to kick-start a conversation! 
What the heck happened to opening with the weather? Or complimenting a person's jacket of the like???
Am I alone here in seeing things this way? Have you experienced any weird opening references from people too or made any yourself?
What the heck happened to opening with the weather? Or complimenting a person's jacket of the like???
Am I alone here in seeing things this way? Have you experienced any weird opening references from people too or made any yourself?8 people like this
15 responses
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
2 Jul 09
Here's one that you might like to try James. Walk through a crowd of people and start to say "Excuse me. Can my dog get through please." Eight out of ten people will get out of your way. The two that don't will point out that you don't have a dig with you. This is the moment to either argue that you do and they must be blind (or visually impaired for the more PC readers) or to say "That's right. So how are you today clever clogs?" Either way you can end up nursing a sore jaw. But it's fun whilst it lasts.
2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
2 Jul 09
If you were carrying a shovel at the time, "dig" would work out just fine! This one sounds like a lot of fun actually. I've always enjoyed the one where you stand in a group and pretend that you're looking up at something. The goal here being to get as many random strangers as you can looking up as well! It's a dream of mine to add a massive water balloon dropped from a great height into the equation, but I'm fearful for my safety. 
I wonder if the Dutch actually do have such a thing as clever clogs? Maybe they're self cleaning or extra woody or something?
This one sounds like a lot of fun actually. I've always enjoyed the one where you stand in a group and pretend that you're looking up at something. The goal here being to get as many random strangers as you can looking up as well! It's a dream of mine to add a massive water balloon dropped from a great height into the equation, but I'm fearful for my safety. I wonder if the Dutch actually do have such a thing as clever clogs? Maybe they're self cleaning or extra woody or something?1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
2 Jul 09
The looking upwards works every time!! A few of you forming a queue and then walking away once a bigger queue forms behind you is also good and carrying an imaginery pane of glass between 2 of you can clear the pavement(sidewalk)... probably better still if you can trigger a breaking glass sound effect 
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
2 Jul 09
Good one! I think, the art of communication will never be outdated, extinct or lose its beauty. No computer or gadget can pull its reputation down.
Good talkers will be there no matter what and I am sure they are reading this and is simultaneously have successfully opened a conversation with some one as eager!
Weather, general topic, world news, Obama, recession, cost cutting, increasing price of essential commodities, government bashing....all could kick start a discussion with ease and they could even go on in installments! Worst pick up line for a discussion starter? Can I have your phone, I have lost mine? . This is cliched and really a testimonial to the person's bluntness. He can never raelly get better! Or I think I know you, when there is no remotest chance of any close familiarity! How on earth someone in Aurangabad know me!!
Sweetest conversation starter? Will you be my sister? 
Good talkers will be there no matter what and I am sure they are reading this and is simultaneously have successfully opened a conversation with some one as eager!
Weather, general topic, world news, Obama, recession, cost cutting, increasing price of essential commodities, government bashing....all could kick start a discussion with ease and they could even go on in installments! Worst pick up line for a discussion starter? Can I have your phone, I have lost mine? . This is cliched and really a testimonial to the person's bluntness. He can never raelly get better! Or I think I know you, when there is no remotest chance of any close familiarity! How on earth someone in Aurangabad know me!!
Sweetest conversation starter? Will you be my sister? 2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
2 Jul 09
Sigh.... "Don't I know you from somewhere" is so cliche and I'm amazed that people STILL try that one on people. I can only recall one instance where a complete stranger asked me if he could borrow my phone and that was great actually because I was a mobile phone salesman at the time! Not only did I let him use my phone, I sold him a new one as well! I never seem to run out of things to say myself either, so thankfully the art of communication is alive and well at my end. I just hope I never run out of people to listen and talk back otherwise I'm going to have to surround myself with mirrors! 
I never seem to run out of things to say myself either, so thankfully the art of communication is alive and well at my end. I just hope I never run out of people to listen and talk back otherwise I'm going to have to surround myself with mirrors! 1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
2 Jul 09
LOL...
I know you will never come in control when it comes to your mouth and tongue. that's good in a way for us listeners because we wait for people like you. You can yap, yap and yap just because we exist and we will dear.
You must have been an asset the cell phone company.
You must have been an asset the cell phone company. 2 people like this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
2 Jul 09
On the wierd conversation starters- I think you are alone on that one.
I've come across one which i won't forget for a long time. What bit your hair off ?
And then there was a conversation between to elderly men which started off due to a stinking loo. Don't ask me to describe the rest of the conversation..
The old ones,.. so hard to come by. Just a simple Good day, the sweater knitting or the late bus service..Those were the days
I've come across one which i won't forget for a long time. What bit your hair off ?
And then there was a conversation between to elderly men which started off due to a stinking loo. Don't ask me to describe the rest of the conversation..
The old ones,.. so hard to come by. Just a simple Good day, the sweater knitting or the late bus service..Those were the days
2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
2 Jul 09
I'm alone? I've always wanted to be an island! 
They've always said that no man could be one, but I guess I've proved them wrong now! lol. 'What bit your hair off" is a new one for me to be hearing and I'm not quite sure how I'd respond to a comment like that! I suppose I could say that it was a Bengal Tiger that bit it off, which would at least open the door to a more interesting exchange! As for the old people, they had the weather comments mastered and it's a shame these skills are disappearing. Nothing melts the awkward ice faster than a quick "Looks like rain! We sure do need it."
They've always said that no man could be one, but I guess I've proved them wrong now! lol. 'What bit your hair off" is a new one for me to be hearing and I'm not quite sure how I'd respond to a comment like that! I suppose I could say that it was a Bengal Tiger that bit it off, which would at least open the door to a more interesting exchange! As for the old people, they had the weather comments mastered and it's a shame these skills are disappearing. Nothing melts the awkward ice faster than a quick "Looks like rain! We sure do need it." 1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
14 Jul 09
Face to face conversation is rapidly dying since more and more people just go about their business and don't offer a word to anyone most times. I am bad for that. I will go to town and not talk to anyone, but my mom..get her in front of someone and she just starts talking about anything and everything..and I would be there wondering why she can't pass a person without saying something..I am a very quiet person 95% of the time. Some grow up that way don't speak unless you are spoken to..and that is how I am if someone doesn't say something to me I don't speak to anyone. Some also use that as a reason not to get rejected, since some can be rude and not even talk back but go on their merry own way. Now days you walk up to someone on the street and try to talk most times you will get a nose in the air reaction and a cold shoulder. No body wants to connect as much as a protective issue maybe..don't want others to get close since you never know who a stalker is,a ax murderer, or other things.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I'm even quiet at cookouts and birthday parties even I am the one throwing them. It is easier for me to talk to people on mylot then people face to face. It is easy to hide behind a computer screen. I talk more here then I do in real life..although I can git a bit gabby to my husband sometimes. But that is really it. Maybe it is my self esteem, or being afraid of rejection cause some people act afraid to talk to someone over weight..Maybe I should at least once a month talk to a stranger or give a encouraging smile to someone. Especially if they are elderly..cause like me maybe they only get out once in awhile and don't get many visitors to talk to..Mylot is my link to sanity..Now that is scary..lol
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Jul 09
I was raised to not speak to somoene unless spoken too, but I seem to have been rebelling against that rule my entire life! I tend to go around using a mixture of talkative AND quiet though and it all depends where I am. If I'm out shopping or something in public like that, I pretty much keep to myself, but if I'm soemwhere where I know a few people already, then I'll talk to everyone and even to the ones there I don't know. As long as there's a hint of familiarity I'm chatty I guess. I agree that people are far more wary of others these days too. Maybe they're right in being this way, but it's a shame it's come to this all the same. 
I tend to go around using a mixture of talkative AND quiet though and it all depends where I am. If I'm out shopping or something in public like that, I pretty much keep to myself, but if I'm soemwhere where I know a few people already, then I'll talk to everyone and even to the ones there I don't know. As long as there's a hint of familiarity I'm chatty I guess. I agree that people are far more wary of others these days too. Maybe they're right in being this way, but it's a shame it's come to this all the same. @James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Jul 09
It's scary in some ways to be so reliant on online talking and have such fears about face-to-face chatting, but in time it may actually HELP you become more confident? You're not alone with this either, because the anonymity that an online presence provides makes many people far more confident. Always remember that no matter what a person looks like, it's their natural charisma and personality that ultimately shines through and this is what we should always put out. Most people will embrace a person that makes the effort and engages them with enthusiasm and respect. Never understimate the attraction of the true you and don't put ideas in your head of what people may think before you've even given them a chance to form a real opinion! 
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
2 Jul 09
I have read this discussion two times. I am still not sure I can get all of the words. Someone did start a weird conversation months ago!
I went across a guy some day some morning some time! He happened to wear long clothes and long hats. I don't know how to express it! You know, Jordan people like to wear these kind of things. But he is not Jordanese but something like that.
Well, I sort of glanced back to see him. Then, he started to talk!
I wanted to give you a gift!
"Oh my gosh!" I said, "What did u just say?"
Someone: "No, no no, it's Allah's Book!"
Me: Sorry, I don't believe anything now! Maybe in the future ...
Someone: Oh, how come this happen, in that way, who creats us?
Me: I don't know! Maybe, Darwin generalized from many facts to reach his idea about the origin of man. Anthropogeny could make sense! So, people may come from some insects!
Someone: Do you even believe some insects...
Me: Oh, I am so sorry! I don't have time for a conversation! Good luck!
Then, I just ran away!
I don't judge any people any belief! It was just that the converstaion was too unexpected!
haha
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
2 Jul 09
Ah yes, nothing gives us that instant excitement rush faster than the topic of religion! I've seen a guy randomly go over to strangers over and over again to tell them that Jesus loved them and I never saw one single person comfortable with the situation at all! If I was to have the same thing happen to me, I'd probably thank them for letting me know and move on..... I know those long clothes you're talking about too because many peple wear them here in Egypt.
I've seen a guy randomly go over to strangers over and over again to tell them that Jesus loved them and I never saw one single person comfortable with the situation at all! If I was to have the same thing happen to me, I'd probably thank them for letting me know and move on..... I know those long clothes you're talking about too because many peple wear them here in Egypt.1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3836)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
31 Jul 09
Hello there, James.
Communication is not dying. It will never die. It will change, only. Change from verbal conversations to written text, to images, to videos. That's a different kind of conversation.
Yes, there are weird starts. Myself have experienced many: "Look at that guy, he is so stupid!". Or people who came to talk about music, when I was holding a guitar, and just ended up giving me a lesson about God.
People are surely losing their skills. I agree with you on that. I am losing my skills, too.
Respectfully,
Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Aug 09
Hi munhozmib, long time no see mate! Yes, this is a fair point about communication not actually dying, but the ART of it is certainly disappearing in my opinion! Change is a constant, but we should also never lose sight of the foundations of things and especially the foundation stones of human communication! Many years from now, we may find many, many people that are outspoken and confident online, yet put them in a room full of real people and they'll shrink into a corner. It's not a nice thought! I've had people hit me up with religion as a conversation opener too and it sure can get interesting at times when that happens!
Yes, this is a fair point about communication not actually dying, but the ART of it is certainly disappearing in my opinion! Change is a constant, but we should also never lose sight of the foundations of things and especially the foundation stones of human communication! Many years from now, we may find many, many people that are outspoken and confident online, yet put them in a room full of real people and they'll shrink into a corner. It's not a nice thought! I've had people hit me up with religion as a conversation opener too and it sure can get interesting at times when that happens! 1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3836)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
2 Aug 09
Yes, James, I have really been absent. As always, I have been learning a lot. Still looks like I don't know enough. =D
Back to the point, I can imagine where communication will go. It is funny to see how we "developed" from non-social beings to a civilized culture, and now we are going back to primitive ages. Yesterday, we didn't know how to speak. Though we could communicate writing on walls. Today, we developed a language system and we can communicate perfectly. Tomorrow, we won't know how to speak, though we will communicate writing on walls called computer screens.
It's just going back to where we started.
1 person likes this
@elmiko (6630)
• United States
31 Jul 09
no your not alone in believing this as i have found my self bothered by the same thing much more recently. stuff like this can no doubt cause many problems in the future. i also do believe in being laid back and care free and not being too sensitive in what others might say as it can be a very healthy thing. people are more open about things these days so i guess its best to ease up and tolerate one another for the most part.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Aug 09
Tolerance is one of the most important things of all in my opinion! We should always be accepting of each other wherever possible because intolerance is responsible for many of the world's woes. Laid back is a good attitude as well and as long as we don't get to the point of being indifferent, it can help us cope well with the stresses of life.
Laid back is a good attitude as well and as long as we don't get to the point of being indifferent, it can help us cope well with the stresses of life. @dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Jul 09
Oh I do so much better in writing than I do in person. It takes a lot for me to warm up to a person to where I'm even comfortable enough to think of something like that. But if my experience with Libby is any example, getting to know somebody online first helps a lot.
So have you ever seen a panda spank a chameleon?
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Aug 09
Yep, this is an older discussion, but it got revived! I'm somewhat the same in the sense that it takes me a while to warm up to people, but this is more on a deeper personal level. I can start up a conversation with a complete stranger easily and I don't fel uncomfortable in groups where I don't know anyone either, but for me to really open up to people, it does take time. I haven't seen a panda spank a chameleon and I doubt I ever will. Those chameleons are good at hiding!
I'm somewhat the same in the sense that it takes me a while to warm up to people, but this is more on a deeper personal level. I can start up a conversation with a complete stranger easily and I don't fel uncomfortable in groups where I don't know anyone either, but for me to really open up to people, it does take time. I haven't seen a panda spank a chameleon and I doubt I ever will. Those chameleons are good at hiding!
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
31 Jul 09
Computers have also added many social opportunities. With the use of my computer I can have conversations with people in Egypt, Italy and Texas, just to name a few. I do agree that a lot of people have problems starting conversations. I think that this is probably due to the fact that etiquette is no longer taught either in schools or at home. Most families have both parents working outside the home just to keep the bills paid and the kids are often left on their own. They spend their time watching programs on TV which make rudeness seem normal so they don't learn how to be polite.
Sheesh, okay I'll get off my soapbox now. 
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
31 Jul 09
Hi Savak! There's no question thqat the proliferation of the internet has brought the world closer, but I do have concerns about the negative effects on social skills in parallel. Etiquette is an interesting point because this "skill" is definitely on the decline too and has been for many years now. Even basic manners seem to have gone for a toss. Yes we are getting busier in life and yes we have no choice but to become more and more reliant on electronic mediums, but we should never lose sight of the foundations that allow us to communicate effectively as PEOPLE.
There's no question thqat the proliferation of the internet has brought the world closer, but I do have concerns about the negative effects on social skills in parallel. Etiquette is an interesting point because this "skill" is definitely on the decline too and has been for many years now. Even basic manners seem to have gone for a toss. Yes we are getting busier in life and yes we have no choice but to become more and more reliant on electronic mediums, but we should never lose sight of the foundations that allow us to communicate effectively as PEOPLE. @savak03 (6684)
• United States
31 Jul 09
I agree with you and just in case anyone is watching let me innumerate the things that I think are important in conversation and personal relationships.
1. politeness
2. respect for others and yourself
3. genuine interest in the other person
Personally, I think if we practiced these things we would all get along better.
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3089)
• United States
31 Jul 09
Yes, I'm afraid communication is a dying breed. But you know I think it's more of an electronic age over just saying computers. Video games become babysitters instead of a family sitting down and playing cards or a board game. I think our children are where this art is dying fast.
I like the computer, game world as much as my children do, but I play it with them or encourage them to play with each other instead of being a zombie behind a screen. I don't know. Maybe there should be refresher courses on the art of starting a conversation - online, of course - LOL!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
31 Jul 09
I enjoy all these mediums too, but at what price in the long run? This is what concerns me to be honest. One specific example is related to a company I used to work for in India. I was working in the SAME ROOM as the CEO and it was next to impossible to get his attention when trying to talk face to face; but if I pinged him on MSN, we'd chat for ages. It got to the point where this was the ONLY way I ever tried to talk with him about anything in depth. All that aside, I think it's great that you involve yourself with your kids when it comes to gaming, but I still reckon going outsied and throwing a frisbee or something is a far better option! I'm not suggesting that you don't do that too, but I bet a LOT of families ARE foregoing this type of activity these days. Refresher courses sound like a good idea if you ask me because I think we could all do with a kick start!
It got to the point where this was the ONLY way I ever tried to talk with him about anything in depth. All that aside, I think it's great that you involve yourself with your kids when it comes to gaming, but I still reckon going outsied and throwing a frisbee or something is a far better option! I'm not suggesting that you don't do that too, but I bet a LOT of families ARE foregoing this type of activity these days. Refresher courses sound like a good idea if you ask me because I think we could all do with a kick start! @kprofgames (3089)
• United States
31 Jul 09
A boss like that would frustrate me. Have a few friends that want to msn or yahoo chat all the time, but honestly - I can't live behind my computer. And yes the games get old even for me sometimes, but if I want them to do the things I want, I have to be with them on their interests too. Kind of a give and take. I've gotten them to start horse shoes doing this and they find themselves outside more then they have before. Of course, it comes in handy when chorse need to be done too - LOL!
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
14 Jul 09
Hi James, conversation is not dying out in Greece that's for sure as sitting around drinking coffee and chatting is a national pastime. I don't think computers have taken off over here big time but the locals here wouldn't want to give up precious coffee time to do things like converse in cyber space as there may be the chance that someone else would hear the local news before them and give a better embelishment to it than they could. Here greetings are properly exchanged, you can't possibly start a conversation like those above as you must greet a person properly first, enquire about health, even with a stranger. It is a slow mutual exchange which one must not rush. One may have taken the same coffee every day in the same place for 50 years but you shouldn't be rushed deciding what you want, there is time to reflect on the decision, even though of course the same thing is going to be ordered as always. So sorry not to be able to provide some wierdness.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Jul 09
Hi Thea. One of my closest friends in High School was Greek and I used to spend a lot of time with him and his family. So based on these experiences, I agree totally that Greeks are masters of conversation! Strap their hands to their sides and we might have an issue though! There are traditional ways of dealing with each other in many cultures, but these practices really do seem to be fading more and more as we become increasingly dependent on technology to do a lot of our talking for us! Don't worry about the lack of weirdness or humour either, a balance of both the serious and inane is always a good thing!
Strap their hands to their sides and we might have an issue though! There are traditional ways of dealing with each other in many cultures, but these practices really do seem to be fading more and more as we become increasingly dependent on technology to do a lot of our talking for us! Don't worry about the lack of weirdness or humour either, a balance of both the serious and inane is always a good thing! 
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
31 Jul 09
Hm, the oddest opener I've heard lately was 2 days ago. I walked into a restaurant I used to frequent to order lunch. I hadn't been there in nearly a year! The manager and I both enjoy doing Sudoku puzzles and had a bit of a rapport back then.
When I walked in, his eyes got big and he said from halfway across the room: Wow! Haven't seen you in ages! Have you been in prison or something?
I couldn't help but burst out laughing lol.1 person likes this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
14 Jul 09
Hello James. My favourite conversation opener is my favourite simply because I was able to come right back and make the chap concerned look an even bigger prat than usual. We'd just taken over running a bar, and we'd been warned about this chap, who happened to share our surname, though thankfully he was no relation. Well, he swaggered into the bar, mates in tow, and said, 'My name's the same as yours, you know.' Quick as a flash, I came back with, 'What, Sandra?' His mates fell about laughing, and I had no more trouble with him.
Once when I was a bit the worse for vodka (well, I'm ALWAYS the worse for vodka, but this time was a worse worse than usual) I went up to a complete stranger and said,'Are you a nice person?' When they said 'Yes,' I replied, 'Oh good, because Mummy said I had to mix with nice people from now on, otherwise I'd have to go back to prison.'
I always look for the surreal in conversations, and I'm usually lucky enough to find it. I love the online chat, but nothing will ever replace face-to-face stuff.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
14 Jul 09
Hi Sandra. Well you're certainly not a shy one then are you? I love the line you threw back at the guy in the bar especially. And in front of all his friends too? Priceless! lol. It's interesting that you used a prison reference in the second example too because I once said something prison related, but it wasn't anything to do with starting a conversation at all. It was more about ENDING one and I once told a guy that was becoming very aggressive towards me that "I once bunked with a guy in prison that looked just like you". He backed off in a matter of seconds!
Looking for the surreal in a conversation is a great attitude to have I reckon and I too like to search for it in pretty much everything! The surreal, the quirky and the effervescent! Normality is far too predictable if you ask me. Give me a healthy balance of real world and online interaction any day of the week too. Life would become way too weird if my entire existence was based on a cyber world.
I love the line you threw back at the guy in the bar especially. And in front of all his friends too? Priceless! lol. It's interesting that you used a prison reference in the second example too because I once said something prison related, but it wasn't anything to do with starting a conversation at all. It was more about ENDING one and I once told a guy that was becoming very aggressive towards me that "I once bunked with a guy in prison that looked just like you". He backed off in a matter of seconds!
Looking for the surreal in a conversation is a great attitude to have I reckon and I too like to search for it in pretty much everything! The surreal, the quirky and the effervescent! Normality is far too predictable if you ask me. Give me a healthy balance of real world and online interaction any day of the week too. Life would become way too weird if my entire existence was based on a cyber world. 
@JodiLynn (1417)
• United States
2 Jul 09
I once called my neighbor and opened the conversation with "Joe? Is that a pet bear in your back yard or shall I call animal control?". Wasn't his bear, but he left before the Bear Cops got here.
I also just recently reconnected with a long lost sibling, I sent an IM asking if he was the brother of _________, to which he replied yes, and I sent back "ME TOO!"...he was a bit shocked, to say the least.
:)
1 person likes this
