What shall I wear to the wedding?????

@liquorice (3901)
July 2, 2009 5:00am CST
I'm in a dilemma. I have three possible dresses to wear to a family wedding on Sunday. I keep trying them on, but I'm not getting any further with deciding. So I'd appreciate any opinions. The dress code is "Lounge Suit". And these are the contenders... 1. A long turquoise silk-look dress. This is fitted at the top, shows a bit of cleavage and has a long flouncy skirt with many petticoats below it. I wore it to my sister's wedding where I was matron of honour. So every time I put it on now I feel like a bridesmaid. (NB I'm not a bridesmaid at this upcoming wedding!) I'm not sure about this dress as it has an old-fashioned look about it which was right for my sister's wedding, which was black tie, and with me being part of the bridal party. My mum loves this dress, and so does my m-i-l. They both think I should wear it and I'm feeling a bit pressurised! 2. A knee-length beige dress with black belt. This dress is fun. It is very fitted up top, it has thin straps and quite a full skirt. My concern here is that it might possibly not be smart enough, and also that it's quite a pale beige. My m-i-l commented after our wedding that one of the guests was wearing white (or almost white), and she was very disapproving about it. And after some internet research, I've found that apparently it is quite rude to wear colours which are similar to white to a wedding, as only the bride is supposed to wear white (or cream or ivory or other similar colours...) 3. A pale lilac silk dress. This is calf-length and is quite close fitting. I wore it to a wedding a few years ago when it looked kind of baggy on me, but now I have more curves I think it looks good! It is quite plain, the only decoration being some cut-out flowers and leaves all around the bottom of the dress. I can dress it up with a black belt (from the beige dress), and this adds an extra detail. Again, I'm concerned that it might not be smart enough for the evening reception, (and my mum says that it's too boring!) So as you can see, I'm a bit confused! I really don't want to spend money on another dress when I have three dresses already... And I'd appreciate any help I can get.
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16 responses
@p1kef1sh (45696)
2 Jul 09
No 2 sounds the most appropriate and I'm not sure about the light/white thing. Provided that it's not actually white/ivory/cream etc then I would think that you were OK. Accesorise it and add a summer hat, medium heels and you'll look fab and won't be mistaken for the Bride! No 1 sounds like something from the 50s - which is my favourite period for women's fashions. But if it's going to make you feel like a bridesmaid then it has to be a no no. Funny how it's all men that have responded so far.
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@p1kef1sh (45696)
2 Jul 09
Whoops - nearly all men!
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@saw2207 (1359)
• United States
2 Jul 09
good and quick retraction on that one p1kef1sh . . for mydi is all girl . . and I am right behind her speaking up for the women on the lot liquorice . . sounds to me like you arent all that thrilled with choice number one .. and you are considering it out of "mil" pressure . . choice number 2 sounds like the one you will have the most "fun" in! And to be honest I think that beige is really ok to wear to a wedding. . so is white especially if you plan on wearing a black belt with it . .what bride do you know that would accessorize her wedding gown with a black belt I think that rule in regard to the colors was written by past brides that were upset that someone upstaged them and so they blame it on the color........ choice number 3 sounds also like a good choice . . . if you think it isnt smart enough or like your mom said "boring" why not go out and buy a fabulous new pair of shoes or a new accessory to spice it up a bit. . those new shoes or accessory will probably be something you can use again . . When all else fails . I say go with YOUR gut as to what is going to make YOU feel pretty and set the stage for YOU to have some real fun for the evening. Whichever you go with . I hope you have the best time and that you dance the night away
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@mysdianait (65058)
• Italy
2 Jul 09
Uhmmmm Thank you Saw!
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• United States
3 Jul 09
Okay, this is hard to picture but you do a good job in describing the dresses. My thought on the first dress is that you would look like a bridesmaid and that should not be considered. Even if it is a different color, a bridesmaid's dress is a bridesmaid's dress. The second dress is definitely probably not a good idea because of the too close to beige/white color. Now down to the third dress. A plain dress is an open pallet for whatever your heart desires. While a belt is a nice addition, try thinking more outside the box. I would take the dress to the material store and go to the bridal section. I would then look for trims that could be sewn on. You can add a pearled or sequined trim to dress it up. You might want to even try maybe an applique or two or look for some really interesting jewelry. When I do this, I check with the store as I bring in the outfit so they know I am bringing an outfit in. I then ask if someone could help me find something (two heads can be better than one), and then when some choices are chosen I take the garment out, lay it on a table, and hold the trims up to the dress where I may want to put them. You may really be surprised at how that plain dress can really wow a crowd. I do not know if the dress is strapless or if it has sleeves. All in all, in reading the list that you put forth, you have good reasons for not wanting to wear the first two dresses. I do get a sense that you love the way the last dress fits, so I pick "door #3."
@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Thanks a lot for your lovely answer. I did choose "door no. 3!" I didn't actually have time to add trims, and I'm not sure I could've made a good job of it! I used the black belt in the end together with some black high heeled (well, high for me!) shoes. I also wore some nice earrings and a bracelet. I was happy with my choice!
• United States
7 Nov 09
Feeling happy about your choice is what makes a confident woman no matter what the situation. That happiness translates to a woman who turns heads for more reasons that goes beyond the dress. You probably would have looked great no matter what the choice but I'm glad that you were happy in the long run.
@SomeCowgirl (32254)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Wear all three? lol, I think I'd have to say that I like the 1st and 3rd one, but not the second one where it's pale beige.
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@liquorice (3901)
29 Jul 09
Good answer! Suffice it to say I didn't wear all three, lol! Although I could have perhaps worn one and changed twice later on. Just like the presenters at awards ceremonies. I wore the lilac dress, option 3.
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@SomeCowgirl (32254)
• United States
1 Aug 09
Lol, yes presenters and artitsts do change. I guess usually before they perform. Hmm... Glad you decided though and lilac is a pretty color!
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• Philippines
3 Jul 09
I would suggest a nicely tailored suit, probably of the skirt and jacket variety. I grew up in a very traditional area and I would say black, white, and red are not acceptable colors to wear to a wedding. I know a lot of the "NEW" etiquette rules say that it is okay to wear black to an evening wedding. I just don't think it sends the right message though. However, I would interpret lounge suit to mean semi-formal. Meaning the men can wear casual suits, the women can wear cocktail dresses and the like, versus ballroom gowns and tuxes.
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Thanks for your comments. I'd heard about not wearing white, but it's interesting about not wearing black or red either. I'm not really into suits, but I appreciate that they can look smart. In the end I chose the lilac dress, which I think was a good and appropriate choice. (Phew!)
• United States
3 Jul 09
If i where you I will go with dress 3,with the right accessories this can be the perfect outfit!Try thing like a big jewelery and a small bag.Only two pieces of jewelery or you will look to much.Try a bracelet and earrings or bracelet and a necklace.You will look so good.Try going with dark colors if the dress is pale it will better.Hope you have fun:)
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Yay, I went for dress 3! Thanks for the advice on the jewellery. I went for some nice dangly earrings and a bracelet. I was happy with my choice.
@airakumar (1555)
• India
3 Jul 09
First off, congrats for at least giving us three options. Well, I have gone through all the option. What I feel that first option is of course a pretty one but as you said now you don't want to be like...bridemaid..:-) I would rather suggest you to go for option 2. A knee-length beige dress with black belt. It is not only sober but it will always give you a smart look and you will look pretty as usual. The dress as you mentioned, as per my vision, it is very nice and beautiful to wear. Go for it!! Rest depends on your selection. All the best!!
@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Actually I went for the lilac dress, although I really like the beige one too. Have to find an occasion to wear it... Thanks a lot for your nice answer.
@orevro (715)
• Philippines
3 Jul 09
wear the dress that makes you feel beautiful and comfortable at the same time. Don't be pressured by what others think you should wear. they are not the ones who will wear the dress. you'll be wearing the dress the whole day and if you choose the dress which you don't feel comfortable on, the whole party will be ruined for you since you're always thinking about how you look. Just be confident and choose the dress which makes you happy :) you'll surely enjoy the party if you do just that!:) Goodluck!
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Yes, that's a very wise answer. It was important for me to feel happy, and I think I made the right choice by wearing the lilac dress. It made me feel confident and happy.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
3 Jul 09
I guess it will be either no. 1 or 3. However, if you don't really want to wear no. 1, don't force yourself to wear it. As for no. 3, I guess it will look fine if you add some accessories with it, such as a necklace, earrings, etc... With the right combination of accessories and shoes, I believe no. 3 will look good on you.
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Thanks, I did wear number 3 in the end, with some accessories, and I think it looked quite good. If felt happy anyway!
@lynnemg (4536)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I think that you should try them all on one more time and then wear the one that you feel the most comfortable ion. Seriously, no one can really help you decide without actually seeing you in them, so, the next best thing is for you to wear the one that you like the most. You seem to like them all the same, so wear the one that you feel the m ost comfortable in.
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Yes, that was a good idea. I didn't really want to post photos of myself in each dress - although that would have been another alternative! I went for the lilac one in the end after several more try-ons, and was happy I did.
@amybrezik (2120)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I would go with the Lilac dress, but it could also depend on the time of day, and where the wedding is. I would not wear the dress that makes you feel like a bridesmaid though.
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Cool! No I didn't wear the bridesmaid-type dress. I went for the lilac dress, and it made me happy!
@FFFrocks (306)
• Canada
3 Jul 09
I vote for the 3rd dress. first of all i don't think you should wear a dress you don't want to wear regardless of the mums liking it. i say buy a rhinestone belt or something and dress up that lilac number. all it takes is a few accessories to make it a stunner, and lilac is a great color for a summer wedding - beige is just boring.
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Thanks for your answer. I wore the lilac dress and a black belt and black heels. You're right, it was a good colour for a summer wedding!
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
2 Jul 09
based on your post and descriptions of the clothes, i think no. 2 will suit you best... no. 1 will be too old-fashioned for you and as you say, it will make you look like a matron of honor... the fact that your mother and m-i-l like it doesn't really matter because you are the one who will be wearing the dress... so you dpn't have to be pressurised by them... about the color, i don't think that there is a restriction on the color of the dress that you can wear to a wedding... so i say go for no. 2 as you say it is fun and add a bit of accessories to it... you will look great in it... have fun on the wedding day... take care and have a nice day...
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@liquorice (3901)
5 Nov 09
Thanks! In the end I wore the lilac dress, and felt happy with my choice! You're right, it was my choice and nobody else's.
• India
2 Jul 09
I really love the first dress--it sounds like something out of a fairy tale. I would love wearing it for sometime. :) But, I guess you had better not wear it if you don't feel that good in it. Go in for the second dress. It is not white, so you won't upset the bride. The third dress is too simple for a wedding. Cheers and happy Mylotting
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@liquorice (3901)
29 Jul 09
Thanks for your opinion. I decided against the second dress as I was just too darned confused about it, lol! I wore the third dress and dressed it up a bit, and felt happier with that option. The first one is quite a fairytale dress, and I'll hopefully get the chance to wear it again to another (perhaps even more formal) occasion. If you're ever in the area, maybe you could borrow it?!
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
2 Jul 09
I like the first and third option. I'm just concerned the first may be too formal for a wedding. It sounds very pretty though. The third sounds just right. I would add some bracelets and a necklace to jazz it up a bit. Good luck with your decision.
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@liquorice (3901)
29 Jul 09
Thanks for your reply shar. I didn't wear the first, option, I went for the third, which just made me feel happiest! I added some earrings, some high shoes and a black belt, and it felt right. So I think I made a good decision in the end!
@mysdianait (65058)
• Italy
2 Jul 09
Oh I can definately understand your dilemma! The lilac dress sounds great but so does the first choice - uhm difficult one this one to choose The final choice must be with the one you feel at your best in. I hope whichever one you decide on that it will be a lovely day for all concerned and will we see some pics?
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@liquorice (3901)
2 Jul 09
Yes, thanks, I agree that I should go with what I feel most comfortable. Don't want to feel awkward on the day. It just seems like there's someone I'm going to upset whichever one I wear, lol! (And the day's not even about me!! Probably besides myself and the mothers, no-one will even care.. I'm just getting myself into a tizz about it). Thanks, I think it'll be a fun wedding. The bride and the groom are both very fun people. Not sure yet about pictures, I'll think about it!
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
I think the third one will look good on you especially when you add some accessories like a pearl earrings and necklace or some sparkling earrings or necklace to suit the evening reception. You may also add some details to the dress to make it look brand new or you may opt to restyle the dress which will cost a little. You may also wear a strappy high heeled shoes for that. But I guess what will really help you decide is to try everything on and choose what really feels comfortable for you.