Are you kinder to yourself...
@greeneyedlady (1439)
Netherlands
July 3, 2009 3:45pm CST
as you get older?
I was thinking about it the other day and I realized that I have become much more kinder and forgiving of myself as I have gotten older. I have become less critical of myself, become my own friend and I don't chide myself nearly as much as I use to when I don't do some little something that needs doing. I have begun to figure out that if I don't get it done at this exact moment then I will in a few minutes! I don't mean I procrastinate forever about doing things as I can't stand to do that, but I now know that a few minutes here or there won't hurt!
As I have gotten older I have also started to treat myself a bit more and if I want to be extravagant and pamper myself I now think, "why not, I am worth it"!!
I also don't care about what people think as much as I use to, which makes it easier for me to be positive. I don't question myself nearly as much as I use to and I know that sometimes I am wrong and when I am it's not the end of the World to me now days.
I wear what I want, when I want, and as long as I am not breaking any laws of the land then I should be able to wear the clothes that I feel comfortable in and not worry about what society tells me is in vogue at the moment!
Also as I have gotten a little older, I am also a bit forgetful at times. Who knows, maybe some of the little things that I have forgotten or will forget in the future are just not important enough or worth remembering!
I find as I have gotten older my life has gotten to be so much easier! I enjoy the person I have become and since I am not going to live forever I am not going to waste a lot of time thinking about what might have been or worry about what will be.
I can not say that I am glad that I am getting older every day, but we all are, it's a fact of life and I am happy for the benefits that it affords me. Many times I think it is just too bad that life isn't lived in reverse where you start out old and get younger because then you could probably enjoy your life a lot longer than you do now!
As far as where I am right now in my life...I'm very content!
So how about you? Do you find that you are kinder to yourself with each passing day or are you still stuck in that very confusing place and don't really know if you deserve to be kinder to yourself? 
1 person likes this
8 responses
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
3 Jul 09
Sadly I have yet to reach that stage, I am hugely critical of myself and I tend to punish myself severely for mistakes. My tutor used to say to me, Brian, stop being so damn hard on yourself. I don't need others to criticize me, I do the job over competently myself. I beat myself up for it and I become very regretful and bitter over decisions I have made that have turned out bad. You'd think as I was approaching 40 I'd learn more to accept myself and be more gentle to myself and love myself more. But I am not. It's like I am berating a child. Maybe it's something I need to work on, mind you it doesn't help matters when you've got such a low opinion of yourself and when your self esteem is rock bottom 24/7
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
Wolfie it saddens to hear that at your age you are still berating yourself and have such low self esteem. While I am definitely No psychiatrist I would venture to say that as long as you have this low self esteem you will Not be Able to be kinder to yourself because I think that the ability to be kinder of yourself requires you to have a good feeling about yourself and think that You Deserve the kindness that you show towards you!
I hope that you will work on your self esteem problems as trust me, No One is perfect and I can not imagine that you are worse than any of the rest of us. Please try to work on your self esteem issues before it is too late and you have lived a life beating yourself up instead of having a good life. Trust me, it is Never too late...I hope this has shown you that You are indeed Worth every kindness that you allow yourself to have from you!
Thank you for responding and Don't let Me Down! Work on that self esteem and showing yourself kindness! 
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
I forgot to mention...start out slowly and work your way up taking baby steps as far as your self esteem and being kinder to yourself goes and you will succeed. Remember, Rome was not built in a day!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
4 Jul 09
As of yesterday I have restarted long term counseling, I have been in counseling since 2003, sadly my last long term counselor of 13 months had to leave so I am starting all over again, we will work on my self esteem but I feel it's going to be a very hard battle. Thank you for your words and encouragement and kindness, much appreciated. I find Mylot very thereapeutic, full of wonderful people only too eager to help and support me through for that alone I am truly appreciative.
1 person likes this
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
Hey,
Yea I also think that I am getting to be kinder with myself as I get older. I don't really know why, but when I was smaller I wasn't kind to myself at all. Ah it is great as we mature, we finally get to know ourselves better. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
7 Oct 09
Hi Elite User! I think it is great that you are being kinder to yourself as you get older and I agree with you, I think when we are younger we don't really know ourselves and I also think that we do a lot of things that we don't particularly want to do because of Peer Pressure and the opposite also, I think we Don't do some things that we would like to do for fear of our Peers not approving, but as we age and finally Do know ourselves we realize that doing what we want to do and being kinder to ourselves is much more important than what other people think...after all, we can't please all of the people all of the time and as I got older I found I was much happier when I was pleasing Me!
Thanks very much for responding!
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
4 Jul 09
I have become very self-indulgent GEL. I spend my time with my friends luxuriating in their intelligence and good humour. I agree about the reverse thing though. We should be born old with the wisdom of years and slowly get younger. I am, at least in maturity terms!
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
I am very happy to hear that you are self-indulgent P1key I think that self-indulgence is one of the most important gifts that we can give to ourselves and especially as we grow older!
We spend out young years learning how to give to others and then we grow up and give to our partners, children, friends, co-workers etc. until soon there is no time to give to ourselves. Then we get older and we forget how to give to ourself because we are not use to doing it, so sometimes we have to learn how to indulge ourselves. When we do learn, then we find that there is an entire new World out there and it is called:
"Live my life for me now"!
This does not mean that we have to stop caring or giving to others, just as long as we don't let ourselves be forgotten, and it doesn't matter what your indulgences are, as long as they are somewhat reasonable and make us happy!
Thank you very much for responding P1key!
@my_name_is_coco (4334)
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
I am kinder to myself now.I already accepted who I am.I have already decided on what I want to do in my life.I have made bad choices and mistakes,but I see them as learning experiences.I am befriending myself.I am looking forward to living life to the fullest and positively.
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
That is just great that you are now able to be kinder to yourself, know what you want out of life and also, Very Important, to forgive yourself for all of the bad choices and mistakes you have made up to now. Absolutely No One is perfect in life and the sooner we realize it and begin to make ourselves happy then the sooner we will start to enjoy life to the fullest! Keep It Up!!
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
Now that I am older, I have a conscious effort to be kind to myself. It has gotten to my senses that the only person who could really know myself well is me. And the person who first and foremost should take care of myself is me. And from all those things that I have mentioned, I want to take care of myself now more than ever. I believe that I cannot be a better person if I am not good at myself. I cannot be kind to people around me if I am not kind to myself.
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
I couldn't agree with you more Jules! When we are good to ourselves and take care of ourselves and give more to ourselves then we are also able to give more to others that matter in our lives!
@fish666888 (57)
• China
4 Jul 09
I don't think i have arrived in your realm!Perhaps i was too young,and i admit that i am not good enough on its own. you are right,i am now in a chaotic life,a bit sad,but they are often excited state..i don,t know how to explain..
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
I think you have explained yourself just fine Fish and now that you see it in writing that you are not there yet, Now is the time to start working on being kinder to yourself so you don't waste any more time Not being kind to you!
Thank you for responding!
@ucue2008 (924)
• Malaysia
4 Jul 09
Me too. As I'm growing older, I become more kinder and I'm loving myself more. I begin to apprecitaed myself more. I begin to listen what myself needs and wants. I begin to think to make myself happier and helathier instead worrying what people might think about me. What the matter is, what I think of myslef, not what people think of me. As before I just do things without caring too much of myself, there are so many things I missed out, so now, I want to pamper myself more, and love myself more, like being more happier, smile more and do things and achieve things that myslef wanted. A great topic.
1 person likes this
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
Thank you for the compliment Ucue I appreciate it! I am very happy to hear that you are indeed being kinder to yourself and thinking about yourself more. I bet you have found two things have happened!
One, as you have already stated, that You are much happier in your life
and
Two, that when you are happier the people and World around you are happier as you shine through and are able to show others more kindnesses than you did before!!
Thank you very much for your response and keep it up of course!!
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
4 Jul 09
I hope then that you will remember this discussion and Begin Today to start out with baby steps and begin to be kinder to yourself! I think you will find that when you are kinder to yourself that you are a Lot happier and when You are happier then the people around you are happier also because you are able to make them happier just by shining through!
Thank you for your response and Don't Forget...be Kinder to You today and in the future!!
