my best friend is a guy and it gets really hard sometimes...help!

Canada
July 4, 2009 3:09am CST
Okay, so i've been best friends with this guy for a while now and we are really close and i tell him everything, trust him with my life, and he helps me with all my problems and vice-versa but sometimes he doesn't take what i say seriously and i don't think he understands how important he is to me. With girl best friends it's easy because we always hang out and we're always talking about the same general things and we treasure each other more. I just wanna know how to show my best friend that he really is important to me and how to get him to take me seriously.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@FFFrocks (306)
• Canada
5 Jul 09
Aw sweety, when guys are that young sometimes what they think are serious issues and and what girls think are serious issues can be two very different things. As well, if a guy can't understand a girls perspective due to lack of life experience he'll laugh it off for lack of a better response, or maybe he's just not comfortable expressing emotions yet. At your age girls tend to be more mature and emotional than guys are, I'll bet he understands how important he is to you but doesn't know how to acknowledge it or express it back. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
• Canada
5 Jul 09
Aww, thank you! This makes me feel a lot better ! :D
@mimuche (163)
• Canada
5 Jul 09
I don't know what age range you guys are but I think as you grow you become more mature and it becomes easier to understand others and the seriousness of the situation. I have a guy best friend and when we were teenagers it was all a laughing matter, anything I said just seemed so silly to him and he would always laugh. But as we grew older we came to know each other better but I must say that it will never be the same as talking to a girl friend. I think what worked for us was the fact that we just told each other upfront that is was a serious matter and really needed the best input on it. However either way it works out in the end, it's what best friends do best
• Canada
5 Jul 09
Thank you. This really makes me feel that as we grow older it'll find a way to work out. Makes me not worry that he doesn't care.
@meliora (54)
• United States
4 Jul 09
You could try getting him a gift and a card. Most places that sell greeting cards have friendship cards. You could write him a message regarding how much he means to you as a friend in the card and put it with the gift. In this situation, the gift should be something inexpensive but thoughtful, like a CD or maybe his favorite food. Anything too extravagant might make him feel uncomfortable. It's also possible that he does take you and your friendship seriously, but he doesn't show it in a way that you'd expect or recognize. Like you said, friendship is expressed differently between girls than between guys. It could be that he's treating you the same way he treats his guy friends and you don't know how to respond because you've never had a guy treat you on that level before.
• Canada
4 Jul 09
Thank you. I think i might actually do what you said. And i think you could be right, he's treating me the same as his other friends but i've never had another guy best friend.
@4ftfingers (1313)
4 Jul 09
Do you mean that he won't take you seriously as a potential girlfriend? If so, then I'm going to be honest, if you are giving off signals that you like him like that and he's ignoring them and laughing and joking then it might meant that he's not interested in you like that and can only see you as a friend. Why don't you ask him what he thinks about you. If it's the same way you feel about him you can tell him how you feel about him. But if you have more feelings for him then telling him might just make it awkward between you.
• Canada
4 Jul 09
Actually, it's just purely as his friend. I just don't think i'm accustom to having a guy best friend and i didn't realize that he could be treating me the same as his guy best friends. But i am definitely gunna keep this in mind in case something ever does happen.
@Wink24 (167)
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
Hello. i assume your a girl,right? Anyway, do you have feelings for him like more than a bestfriend? Maybe because both of you were so close that's why, he'll never think that the two of you will move into the next level,say bf-gf. As a result, he doesn't take seriously what you're saying. Or it could be that,he already love someone else but he can't tell you that directly because he know that you might get hurt that's why he's acting that way. Anyway, try to reflect first with yourself, like what is your true feelings for him, is it love for bf or just love for a brother/bestfriend. If it's just a love for brother/bestfriend, then there's nothing to worry about. But if love for bf, Think about the disadvantage and advantage if you and your bestfriend become bf/gf, then weigh it, if disadvantage is heavier than the advantage, then better not to go for it, if otherwise, then try. It's hard to hide your feelings to someone especially if he's really close to you and you always see each other, but sometimes, words are better left unsaid, because it's better to become just bestfriends than nothing. Think carefully, happy mylotting and Godbless you
• Canada
4 Jul 09
hey. Yes i am a girl and i thank you for the advice. I only think of him as like my best friend or like a brother but as someone else said maybe it's because he doesn't know how to really show me he understands because we're different. But i will definitely keep your advice in mind in the future. :)
• Malaysia
5 Jul 09
sometimes the theory tells us boy and girl cant be pure friendship at all but i cant believe of this as i really have a good male friend at all and we are impossible to develop a love relationship if the one is your best friend, you should know his characteristic and know why he is always seem like not care ur story at all. the expressing is different between boy and girl you cant demand that the boy should be so careful as what we are. boys always careless and seldom talking really privacy things with friend,even friend seek opinion of him, he will only do some uhh, ermm, ya the types of cues only dun demand too much from boys, they are not like girls at all
@barehugs (8983)
• Canada
5 Jul 09
Probably the best way to show him how much you care would be- Next time it gets really hard, just reach over and give it a squeeze. He will get the idea real quick and everything will turn out rosy.