My mom beat me!

Philippines
July 5, 2009 3:36am CST
Yes, Literally. I was slap in face for 20th time and have been thrown by a lot of cups and glasses at face. I'm 28 years old and had a family already. Though I have my own, I still live with my mom because I think we need to be together. We only had each other and I can't afford to leave her alone. I'm broke and I have some debts to pay. Since I don't have my salary, I need to ask her for a couple of bucks just to lend for the mean time and I'll be giving her back the money as soon as I can have my salary. I need to borrow from someone who wouldn't ask me for some interests and I don't have anyone to ask help for but her. She resisted and I cried. Maybe because I was really hurt because I really need it if not, I will be sued. I was really pressured and she wouldn't help me. I cried hard and she beat me. I was so shock. Until now I couldn't ease the pain in my heart that I am old, I don't have anyone to run to, and my mom beat for some $150.00 that I need which I'm willing to pay for 2 months time. I just want to vent out. My face hurts until now and I feel so sad. Not just because I still have the problem with the money that I owed but because I was hurt by my mother.
5 people like this
24 responses
• Philippines
5 Jul 09
Maybe, your mother hurt you because she have problem of her own. Do she have her own source of income? She think that you are a burden and she could not take you anymore. Or as what you say you're in debt and maybe she have debt also. She is worried that you cannot pay her. In in case that she have her own jobs. She should not treat you badly as you promise you will pay her later. But, in case she have no job and no source of income. That is her reason for beating you. She cannot control her temper and she think you're forcing her. When, in fact she have nothing to give. Just talk later to her, until you two and calm. You have no other people to depend. You just need to forgive and forget. maybe, she have her own deep reasons for doing that and the manner you talk to her is the reasons.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
She has a job of her own and definitely earning much more better than me since she has a good position in the government. I wouldn't be asking a favor from her regarding money if I know that she can't afford. Yes, I have forgiven her but yet, I was still hurt. You see, I am an adopted child and I guess that's the reason why she couldn't gave me the support I need though I am very willing to give it back in return. Thanks so much for enlightening me.
@ucue2008 (924)
• Malaysia
5 Jul 09
It so sad, I don't know what to say, but it musty really hurt. Hurt in your hurt must be much more painful than hurt in your face. This morning I told my mom don't ever say word patient to me because I'm sick of it, but I guess my mom said the truth, be patient dear and be strong. Must be very strong. I guess, we human will face so many obstacles and problems in our life and yours is very hard. I pray that you will find your solution soon. Take care.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
Thanks so much. Yeah, you're definitely right. The hurt inside is much more painful than the hurt I felt when I was slapped in the face. That's the most painful part. The bruises I have in my skin will heal soon but I guess the bruise I had in my heart will definitely harder to heal. :(
• India
5 Jul 09
Sad To Hear..... Am feeling Bad Literally after reading your Post .............. You Need To Talk to her .............. But i dont think she Beat you for Lending that money ......... Talk to her Thats a Good Way of dealing I Feel .............
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Jul 09
I was letting things to cool down first but I tried to talk to her yesterday and she was still blaming me that she slapped me because I am screaming that she slapped me. I was crying out loud and screaming her to stop but she keeps on slapping me and slapping me all over again. I don't want to talk to her if she didn't realized what she has done. I will be but not now I think.
@jellymonty (2352)
5 Jul 09
Oh thats bad that a mother hits a 28 year old! Now if you were a kid or a teenager thats understandable but you're old enough to be independent. Its time you stop relying on your mother, get up and stop having a pity party as it wont do you any good. Yes you have all these debts but for every debt there is a solution. Look for another job(s) go online and search for money making opportunities. Stop being lazy, rise up and take control of your life. I am sorry that you are still in this position but you need to stand up and DO something. You will never solve any problem by relying on someone else. You need yo pray and ask God to guide your path and fill you with his knowledge. Prayer works and if you pray, I PROMISE YOU that God will turn this horrible situation into joy, gladness, riches and blessings. All the best friend, we are here for you if you need any guidance.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
6 Jul 09
This is some very good advice that you are giving out Jellymonty. It might sound a bit harsh when you mention that she is being lazy. Well we really don't know the full story but it's the same thing as tough love and you are right, she needs to rise on up out of that traumatic situation and take control of her life. As long as she still live with mom, mom will always feel like she can do whatever she wants while in her own house, I guess. Anyhow as you mentioned, prayer does work and it will give her the strength but she got to start the action as far as making something good to happen for herself.......God give us two arm, two legs a brain and if we don't use them, then it's nobody's fault but our own. If a cockroach can make his way in the world, then certainly a human being can....... God bless us all!
@rdadey (484)
• Canada
5 Jul 09
That is really so sad. You really need to find your own place to live and get your finances straightened out. I know it's hard but you can do it. You have to get your life together and get pass this moment. Your mother has went a bit too far and it seems she may really need you more in her life than out of it. You will have to talk to her and you also need to let her know that she did you wrong by beating you. If she is a violent person than you really need to get away from her.
1 person likes this
@ashia101 (203)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
Well the last time that my mom beat me was when I was 9 years old.She used to had me knelt on salt and spread my arms.She hates my dad so I became the medium to release her rage since I look like my dad.Since then my mom never beat me, she had said hurtful things but that just it. I'm very sorry about you mom.maybe she's having a hard time in expressing her love. Has she always been like this?
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Family or not, no two Womwens needs to live in the same house, because they will not get along. Not for long.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
6 Jul 09
It is very bad. But why she beat you? was there any reason to beat a 28 year old? I think she must have been very disturbed as well.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
6 Jul 09
I could be wrong, Danielle, but it seems to me that you are leaving something out of your story. No sane person, in my opinion, resorts to violence if they are asked for a loan! At any rate, you should be living on your own at the age of 28. That is too long to remain at home with your mother unless she needs you for medical reasons. Take my advice and grow up and learn to manage your own money, then you won't have to go to your mother for loans.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 09
Hello Damielle010507, I think there must be a valid reason why your mother didn't want to lend you the money but to beat you just because you asked her and cried, I don't think it makes any sense. Maybe she doesn't have the money to lend you or maybe she just want you to be more independent. I understand how you feel when you 're in need and no one else to turn to. I hope you can find a way to solve the problem as soon as possible.
@marguicha (220953)
• Chile
7 Jul 09
I imagine this is the time to think how to stand on your own feet. You are 28 and live with your mother instead of living with your family. Yoy got into debt not knowing where to fget the money to pay back. The "couple of bucks" are $150. I bet that is not the first time youtr mother has taken you out of debt. Why would anyone lend you without interests? I do think you need her, but, have to talked to her if she wants to be left alone? Grow up, Danielle. Even here, online, if you work for some hours, you can get some money. It´s a cent by cent business though. Nobody is giving anything.
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
You should not be suffering under your own mother. She should not go slapping you nor abusing you for several obvious reasons. You are already 28 years old and what would your kids say if they found out? Also, you said you already have a family. I assume you have a husband. Why can't he pay your debts? Why can't she just lend the money to you without resorting to beating you up? I have to be frank with you. Based on your story, your mother is not a great one. She should not hesitate to help you in times of need, even financial ones. Maybe you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother.
• China
6 Jul 09
i'm so sorry to hear that. but dont hate her,after all,she's ur mom. just to find reasons in ur side. did u discuss it with her gently and with good reasons? ... as a grow-up, my mom never beat me, but did when i was a child, cause i'm very naughty then. but now,i never hate her,but thank her for that so much.because only she want u to be better,and will she beat u. from the time when i was in the university,i never took any money from parents,i even could give them little from my scholarship. now i only give them the money to use.cause they are old and we, as their children,should take care of them. that's also the custom here.i dont know what's in ur place. i say so,just hope u dont hate ur mom. just to borrow from ur best friend or by other ways,and do ur best to earn more. good luck.
• China
6 Jul 09
I am really sorry to hear that,I don't think it's a good idea to live with your mother when you are 28 years old and already have a family.I always think there are gaps between parents and children.But it seems you She beat you maybe not just because you ask her for money.I am a college student now and I can not own much money.As an adult but I still can not live a indepent life,I know the feeling is not good.
• United States
6 Jul 09
This sounds like a codependency issue. I had this same issue with my mother when I was still living under her roof and I had to escape as soon as possible. That kind of abuse is not tolerable or welcome at any age. However, this could be the slap that motivates you to explore your interests and make enough to live alone. And free. I hope you feel better and that your wounds heal. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone, knowing the circumstances.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
6 Jul 09
My mom beat me........ Hello honey, it sounds like you and your mom both have some serious issues going on over there. Please do not take this in an offensive way but first off your mother has no business hitting or beating on you at your age. That is a very serious offense if you have her reported. Next issue is why would you still be living with your mom at 28 years old. It sounds to me like you need to get out of their by any means necessary. Believe me there are some people right now that are going through the same thing, still living at home with mom and they are old people. They will be stuck right there if they never get the courage to get up and walk away. There are all kind of jobs that you can do to raise the money. All you need to do it get some courage. Then step on out there in the world and start paying off that debt as soon as you land a job. It don't have to be a really high paying job. Even two part time jobs would be enough to get you started. In this world, you do what you have to do in order to help yourself. I can understand that your mother might need some help but you could probably help her out a lot more if you move out on your own and if you are making some money to give to her sometimes. You shouldn't be asking your mother for money at this point in your life. No matter how hard times may get. It's never good business to ask relatives for a loan. It messes up the relationship when you aren't able to pay them back. Go and find a job and then get yourself some counseling if you are still feeling hurt. Many of us are hurt by old childhood wounds and things that our parents might have done or didn't do. But the truth is that life goes on and you have to get over it. Please take my advice and stop feeling sorry for your mom, she may need the help of a professional person...and you would be in a lot better position to be able to help her out if you would get on up and start working on getting yourself together. Good luck. Happy mylot!
@Glow1971 (354)
• Spain
5 Jul 09
Hello Danielle010507! I am sorry that you are going thru this with your mother and I do understand that you are there for financial reasons but I'm shocked that at 28 yrs old, your mother is hitting you! My advice to you is, GET OUT as soon as you can. This is unhealthy for you and your mother needs psychiatric help!
@apgh09 (514)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Hi danielle010507 i am sorry to hear about your troubles with your mom it looks like you have gotten allot of good advice from my lot. depending on the city you live there are programs that can help you get on your feet especially since you have a child. you may want to go to your local job agency and ask about the wia program workforce investment act it helps people with limited job skills get a job and start a career by putting them through school. i know as much as you may not want to leave your mom alone if you don't make a positive change in your life you will never be able to help yourself or the ones you love its like a viscous circle. so hopefully you'll take the advice and start doing making the right changes to get yourself on your feet. you also may look at some dept agencies in your area that may be able to help you get out of dept it may be a challenge but its not impossible as far as housing you may be able to apply for section 8 they base your rent on your income, but first you need a job. contact your local children and families services they may be able to connect you with programs that an help you get on your feet, on try contacting some head start programs. and you may be able to contact 211 the crisis line explain to them your situation and they may be able to give you some good information too. i hope this helps GOD Bless I'll pray for you.
• China
6 Jul 09
Even an upright official finds it's hard to settle a family quarral. Well, you are 28 years old, I can't understand why don't you have a job? But you have debt? Maybe your mother just hates iron could not turn into steel. It's not her that solely has faults I think. The only thing you can do now is to find a job and prove you have the ability to bring home the bacon,since you are the age to repay your mother but not depend on her $150.
• United States
6 Jul 09
I think you should move out eventually. I wouldn't be able to put up with that, but then again my mother and I don't have that kind of relationship at all. Hopefully things change for the better for you real soon.