Should I stay her friend or not???

United States
July 5, 2009 4:54pm CST
One of my friends and I are always fighting. She has stolen my boyfriends before [at least 2 times] and I'm sick of it. She won't be mature and stop acting childish and she is always jealous of me. Why can't she and I work this out like adults??? I haven't seeen her or talked to her in months and the last time we spoke she was upset at me. But she finally forgave me for whatever I did. Should I stay friends with her, or should I do what's best for myself and not hang out with her anymore???
4 people like this
27 responses
• United States
7 Jul 09
if you can't trust her i wouldn't be her friend anymore. but before you defriend her maybe you should tell her how you feel. tell her if this keeps happening you don't think you two could be friends. if she doesn't care she doesn't deserve your friendship. and she might also be a bad influence for you.
• United States
7 Jul 09
keeping an open communication going is always good. a relationship/friendship ends when one of the people decide to give up on making it work, and decide to walk away.
@sksrin (111)
• India
6 Jul 09
FORGIVE YOU?????? U told she stole ur Bf....and u dont trust her(U CANNT)...and she forgives yu... please XPLAIN????
• United States
12 Jul 09
Sorry I didn't answer this when you posted it. I have been really busy. She gets mad at me alot. It's like cats and dogs with us. She chases after me like a dog looking for ways to be mad at me. I honestly don't want to be her friend unless she can stop acting like she's the boss of everyone. I know, it sounds like elementary school drama... but it's still happening no matter how 10 year oldish it is.:] She was mad at me because she thinks I'm too perfect. She was really really sick & I wouldn't hug her when I saw her. It had been a while, and she just... ugh!!!! She's even gotten mad because she thinks I have a beter life than her.It's not my fault that she is jealous of me. it's childish. And just plain annoying. But she's one of my best friends. I can't ditch her. We have known each other a long time.
@Sherry12 (2472)
• United States
7 Jul 09
I would stay friends with her, but not hang around with her as much as you do your other friends. You need to do what is best for you.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Jul 09
sounds as if you are both very very young. I didn't check your profile to tell...it just sounds it. For one thing...you can't "steal" a boyfriend. If your boyfriend were all that in love with you, he would not even be bothered with your friend no matter what. If he gave one thought to your feelings or had an ounce of respect, he would not choose a friend of yours as someone he would cheat on you with and obviously bring conflict to the friendship. ok now for your friend...I don't have anyone that I would consider a friend that would even consider going out with one of my boyfriends while i was with them and not even afterwards unless she had my blessing. That being said and reading your post, I have to say that your friend is not much of a friend and your boyfriend is not much of a boyfriend and what in the world are you doing being okay with being forgiven for some crime that you don't know you committed? You pretty much have said it all...she hasn't spoken with you in months......re-read what you wrote and you will have your answer as to what you should do.good luck
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
sometimes we're caught up in our emotions that we fail to see the stark truth. imagine that the girl who posted this discussion is your daughter . what would you tell her? of course you'd tell her that your friend is not the only person in the world who can be a friend. besides you are who you associate with. if you've got a snake for a friend people would, yes, see you as one. peace .
@Glow1971 (354)
• Spain
5 Jul 09
Wow, although we're human and we make mistakes, friends are supposed to respect each other and I don't feel your friend is respecting you by stealing your boyfriends. Can't she find her own?? That's disrespectful and if that happened to me, I really don't know what I would do. You'd have to consider your history with her and how long you have known each other and analyze why you believe she takes your boyfriends. This truly isn't healthy and ultimately you would have to make the choice but I would suggest at least talking about this whole situation.
• United States
5 Jul 09
Thank you. I have been her friend for 4 years. Almost 5. She wasn't like this when we met & she and I didn't fight. But now she's always lying and I even told her that if she ever stole my boyfriend that our friendship would be done. And that was after the first time she stole my boyfriend. You seem to understand my situation, as do the other people who responded. Thank you to everyone who responded and I will talk to her and tell her how I feel. :]
@ElicBxn (63486)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Run away, my blood sucking friend, you may be a vampire, but she's a leach. The difference is that she's not fighting fair, she's is being immature and there is no reason to have such people in your life. Obviously you haven't needed her for months, and I would just take her name out of your phone and memory and think of her as a person that you would rather not be around.
@tawny_24 (341)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Real friends don't break each other's hearts. Love doesn't hurt. If she hurt you by stealing guys that you are interested in then she doesn't love you and you should let go. If you are not on the same maturity level then you two will never have good communication you should let her go. If she is jealous and angry when you suceed at something or get some recognition for a job will done then she doesn't love you and you need to let go.
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Hey Vampire Chick, I am sorry your friend has been that way towards you , and she just seems she is not that great of a friend , and needs to grow up. I dont know if she is just looking for attention from the boyfriend stealing or what , but you dont deserve that , and she shows no respect . Respect is huge for me , and trust , and with her you dont have that , and I am so sorry . I made the best of friends later on in my life , and having a true friendship is possible , you will see in time . You can keep her in your life , but ... She will be that way unless she wakes up , or gets a kick in the butt. Best of luck xx
• United States
6 Jul 09
OMG you need to run from it i have deel with a person like at and you don't want to stay in a friendship like that cus there will be times were you sit at home and think about the past and then you will get angery and be killing your self in side wile she is live on with her life she seem like one of my ex-friend were you can tell them what they are doing woorg and insted of them saying sorry to you they be like i forgive you, she seem like she don't have any problm with doing stuff like that and is not sorry belive me i been there you are much better of with out her i got rid of my friend like that and i falt better it wount be easy if your were with this person alot but belive me its worrth it. I friend should not take other frends bf i don't care who they are.
• United States
7 Jul 09
I don't want to set you up for another failure, because I do believe that people can change. And maybe she did change for the better while you two weren't talking. There goes a saying," Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Fool me thrice, ..." I don't remember the rest. :( Any hoo, you get the picture, right? You don't want to get going againe, hanging out then finding you're going through the same routine. It does get old, then maybe it would be time to say goodbye if that happens. The only person that you can change is yourself. And really friends don't get jealous of friends. I would try to be happy for what they've achieved. Don't playa hate, congradulate!!!
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
she had stolen your bf at least 2x...i don't have any right to judge her,but i guess she's not worth to be your friend.you are too generous to have accepted her for what she did for stealing ur bf.and you are too kind for her to keep her company...i guess it is time for you to wake up...give space and have other friends worth keeping for.
• United States
6 Jul 09
Clearly your friend is hurting you, you should just walk away. She's not worth your time.
@thebox2 (15)
• United States
6 Jul 09
Its good you are questioning this relationship. It is not a health one. Trust is very important, and so is honesty. If she stole your boyfriend once she will do it again. Understand I don't know all the ends and outs of your friendship. Maybe it just hasn't happened enough to you for you to see how dishonest it is. But its no different than stealing a car, its still someonetaking what you have spent your heart and time on and trashing it.Make a heathy boundray around cheating and lose this girl untill she grows up. Take care the box2
• Malaysia
6 Jul 09
erm, is it called friend?can u make sure she wont hurt you anymore and the most important is can u believe her again?
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
if i am in your situation i would just let go of the friendship even if it was years long already. you are not happy in it and your friend is selfish, she's not being a friend to you at all, by stealing your bf twice. tsk tsk tsk, what kind of friend is that. let her go, you'll find more worthy than her, who would respect you and treat like a real friend.
• India
6 Jul 09
If you are not comfortable with here, then there is no reason why you should continue with her, and let go of her relationshio. but, the fact that you have written this post means that you are actually not completely against her. maybe, you do not like some qualities of her. if that is the case,both of you can have a good discussion and then take it forward. all the best.
• Philippines
6 Jul 09
It is only you who knows what is best for you. Weigh the pros and cons of your decision and make sure that whatever it will be you will not regret it.
• India
6 Jul 09
You get true friends with extreme difficulty. this is the only relation which goes on without any selfishness so if u think your friend is good one and genuine do not break frienship for some very silly matters. try to solve the problem on face to face. Everything goes right if you are true freinds.
• China
6 Jul 09
If you continue to maintain a relationship does not allow her to change,I think you do not need such a friend,you know what to do,a true friend is a mutual need to share the happy.