How is this even fair!!?? what should I do?!!
@beutfulmama6701 (1718)
United States
July 7, 2009 2:23pm CST
I have an 8 year old daughter who is constanly getting picked on by one of my sisters... When my daughter was born, my sister had a 9 month old son.. She treated my daughter like she was her own, bought her everything, took her fun places, was contastanly snapping pictures, always taking her for sleep over etc etc she was aunties little princess... Well my sister had her own little girl whose 4, ive noticed over the years that my sister has paid less attenition to my daughter more nad more each yea, and now its to the point that when ever her daughter whines and say "my daughter" did this my daughter gets punished, if something is broken at her house its automatically my daughters fault if were at a family gathering and her daughter falls and decidesz to say my daughter pushed her my daughter gets scolded... well recently we were at her house for a BBq, ive held my tounge pretty much until then, all the kids were playing nicely on the trampoline, and her son said my daughter bit him, so my sister asked ALL the kids if they saw that and they all said no we didnt see anything... She then asked her daughter one more time and her daughter replied no i didnt see anything happen, so my sister put her son an my daughter in time out because she didnt know who was lying and who was telling the truth.. turns out my daughter did in fact bite him, so i talked with her and sat her out, so when i got her out my sister decided to have a talk with my daughter about lying... in the meantime of this discussion her daughter said mommy yes i did see her bite him , i saw the whole thing... then that was it... i asked my sister, her husband my husband and a family friend ( we were all there) if i was the only one that noticed that my daughter lies and my sister reels in on her, but her daughter lies and nothing.. her response was.... " Yea but her lying wasnt doing any harm" when she just lectured my daughter on how lying was disrespectful, hhurtful, not right and will ot be tolerated!! I told my husband the next time this happens where my daughter would get in trouble when she didnt do anything that we were just up and leaving i dont care what we were doing or were we are.. I understand she has her daughter and mommys little princess but still thats not fair to my daughter and by letting her take the fall for everyting especially when she didnt do anything is not fair to her and i dont want her to grow up thinking people can take advantage iof her like that...
what are your thoughts on this matter.?? what should i do? say? thank you for taking the time to read my discussion and thanks in advance for any thoughts and advice you may have
3 people like this
7 responses
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
8 Jul 09
First off I believe you should have stepped in right from the beginning and told her that you where handling it and to deal with her own child's lies while you dealt with yours. If she continues to focus on your daughter but not her own simply discipline her child as well. If she tells your daughter not to lie and hers says she lied too, say " honey that means you lied too and everything Mommy said goes for you as well." Sometimes the best way to stop a big mouth is to use their own words against them and it sounds as though her girl could use a little of them herself. Question though, growing up was she the one who made decisions for both of you? Does this behavior reflect how your own childhood was?
@maikarumike (458)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 09
I think sometimes in life we must stand up by ourselves to defend what we think is right. We cannot let people step on our heads forever and it doesn't feel good to be stepped as ell don't you thin so?
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
7 Jul 09
That sounds really frustrating. I think your sister was out of line for giving your daughter a lecture when you were right there and had taken care of the situation. It was like she over-stepped her boundaries. It seems that she needs to focus on her daughter and her lying about things. If her daughter's lies "don't do any harm" she has no business lecturing your daughter about the same thing. Have you talked to your sister, like just the two of you alone? Maybe you could ask her to let you do the disciplining if another situation comes up. Ask her to put herself in your shoes for a minute and think how she would like it if you did the same thing to her daughter as she did to yours. Put it as nicely as you can that it bothers you when she does things like that and it hurts your daughter's feelings too. I don't know how you two get along in general, but if you do get along pretty well maybe she just needs a reminder to stop doing that to your daughter. If she doesn't agree or if she gets upset about what you have to say, then, yes, I would leave if she continues to do things like that. It's not right of her and it's definately not fair to your daughter.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
7 Jul 09
in my opinion, you need to distance yourself from your sister. your kids are your first priority and i would not tolerate her attitude and actions towards your kids. she has no right to behave this way. if she confronts you, tell her it is because of her attitude.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
7 Jul 09
Have you talked to your sister about her change in attitude towards your daughter and how it could be hurting the child inside? That would be my first step. If that doesn't do any good then you have to stand up for your child. You are her mother and you are her protector. Don't let your sister continue to treat her like that.
@marguicha (216342)
• Chile
7 Jul 09
I would just talk to her and tell her that from now on you teach and punish your chidren if needed and she takes care of her own. It´s ok if she wants to have her daughter as a little princess, but not to the expense of yours. If your sister doesn´t accept this, stop visiting her.
@inkstainedheart (455)
• United States
7 Jul 09
I would leave, too! It isn't fair that your sister has double-standards when it comes to your daughter and hers. When kids are only punished sometimes for their actions, they can become confused on whether their actions were wrong or if one person is just picking on them.
