shoul i chase after the girl who has a boyfriend?

China
July 9, 2009 5:31am CST
not so long ago ,i encountered a pretty girl who come from the same city where i was born,to tell you the truth ,at the first of her ,i told myself:she is the very girl i've been looking for,and very natually ,i got his phone number from my friend,with which i am able to send masseges to her ,thus have a better understangding of her,and i think if you really want to gain her heart,firstly ,you have to understand her,at first i thought i had lelf a good impression on her,unfotunrtely ,soon after that ,i found she had a boyfriend,which it is really a great shock to me ,i am still hasitating whether to chase after her or not....
4 people like this
28 responses
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
9 Jul 09
u better leave that girl...because she belong to some other boy..so she is some others property, so chasing is not a good thing.. i suffered from a same kinda thing, but i played the other character.. i had a girl friend, some other boy chased her and took her away from me...i dont know what to do...i left both of them..so i took one decision that i should never commit with any other girl, though im 19...so i suggest others please dont chase others girl friend, because i know the pain..i suffered a lot, my heart broke when she left me.. so please dont chase the girl.. have a happy life with some other girl.. happy to respond.. happy mylotting..
1 person likes this
@mimimeow (295)
• Hong Kong
9 Jul 09
I like hearing you say leave the girl alone, gunagohan but at the same time I really hate hearing you saying someone is some others property! No one belongs to other people. We are no objects or pets or slaves and belong to nobody.
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
i know how you felf when that boy took your girl from you ,because i suffered the same experience in the past,perhas it is because of this very reaon that i still have the thought of chasing her, i may seem a bit cruel but if you did't try it to persuit your happiness,i think you are not responsible yourself,thanks
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
10 Jul 09
i did not mean abt some others property in the second way, u have to take it in the first meaning, that the girl belong have given herself to some other boy in all aspects, so she is the complete property of the boy, that is not in the meaning of object or some other thing, i said in the form of 'life'.. everything u have to take it in the positive form..
• United States
9 Jul 09
I really do not think it is fair for you to go after a girl who is already with someone. They obviously are in a relationship, and its not right to follow your own feelings when they have their own things going. I mean say she likes you after you tell her your feelings? what about the other guy she used to be with? Imagine if you were in his place, and some guy thought your girl was pretty and he took her away from you?! You would be crushed wouldnt you? I really dont think its a good idea to tell her anything until they have broken up or whatever, because she is his right now and you have no right to come in and split them up! And if they never split up then look for someone else, there are plenty of women out there you are bound to find your one and only! And imagine the awkward position youd put the girl in, she would be torn. And what if she didnt even like you back? you would just make yourself look silly! Make your own decision, but think about the consequences!! Good luck
• China
10 Jul 09
firstly what i would like to emphasize is that pretty is not the reason i liked her,ok?and i think no one is able to gain hapiness and at the same time,having not hurt others ,anyway ,thank you for your advice
@Shellyann36 (11599)
• United States
9 Jul 09
I would say that if she was to cheat on her current boyfriend with you then she would later on cheat on you with someone else. By her sending messages back and forth with you now I consider that to be a form of cheating. Don't waste your time chasing her. After you get her someone else will come in and be the next new interesting fellow and you will be cheated on too! Once a cheater always a cheater!
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
it seems that you are suspecting everyone,which i considered to be a kind of extremist,not everyone is the sort of person as you described,in my eyes ,she is a girl trustworthy
@smileonstar (4012)
• United States
9 Jul 09
This is hard to say tho. If the girl is happy with her boyfriend now then it is good for her but bad for you tho. If she is not happy with your boyfriend now then it is your chance to step in but you have to make sure it is not too fast... be there for her if she needs you. humm... if possible now, you can be you trust friend, you know share thing with her and make her feel comfortable with you and one day she might tell you something about her life with her boyfriend. This is happened to me now,... I also have a man but at where I work, this guy likes me a lot. He always care and help me out and care about me all the time... and he already knew that I have a man. I know he like me though but I can't do anything about it cuz I am happy with my life now and I dont want to miss up everything. If we are really truth love from last life then we will meet but if not then I wish for the next life, if I have one. If you are patient then dont ask her for the answer, otherwise thing will turn upside down
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
you are right .the man definately should not step in so as not to hurt your relationship with your man,so do i ,but i will wait and see what will happen
@ektarox (67)
• India
9 Jul 09
hey first try to find out whether she is really in love with her boyfriend or is it just a fling for her..if it is a fling you can try your luck at convincing her that you realy like her and would keep her very happy...but is she really loves her guy then pls back off..m sure you would'nt want to ruin anyones love ...imagine that happening to you...that would be sad right?so in that case sacrifice your feelings for thier love...and move on...m sure you'l find the girl who is made for you!:)
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
hehe ,it seems that most of you are not agree with me ,at this momemt ,i just can say what i need to do is to wait
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
You've gotten yourself into a bit of a trouble there :) It's difficult to answer this question. Firstly because it's YOUR problem and we wouldn't want you to blame us if anything went wrong by following our advice! :) In my opinion though, I think that you should first try to understand the girl's relationship with the boyfriend. If she is perfectly happy with her relationship, you might be doing yourself and her a good service by keeping away -- you can stay as friends but disturbing her peaceful and romantic life might put the both of you in bad circumstances. Let's put it this way, just because you pursue her, it doesn't mean she'll say yes, especially if she ends up hurt and she starts blaming you when her boyfriend leaves her :) However, if she's not happy and you honestly believe that you can make her happier. Then be her good friend first. Then when you're ready, tell her how you honestly feel :) Thanks for the response on my discussion :)
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
wow ,i actually waiting for the moment when she feels unhappy or not get on well with her boy friend,and my chance lies in that momoent,if i decide to tell my whole feeling to her,i should tell her at the right time in a right place.thank you for your response on my discussion as well
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
One thing that a girl values from a man is respect. I am not just talking of respect for the woman but also respect for the people around her and that includes a boyfriend if she has one. Try to be in the position of the boyfriend. How would you feel if a man is still pursuing your girlfriend? I am definitely sure that you would be offended. Respect begets respect. Let us not mess up our lives by messing our people's lives.
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
yes i could understand your saying so ,since i have a similar experince in my high school ,when i have't broken up with my girlfriend , and at that moment,a boy invaded our relationship,and i lost her,from then on,i generated a thought that no matter at any cost i should still persuit for my own happiness.
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
9 Jul 09
Does she know how you feel? If not... why not confess to her? It might be the only way of getting her. For all you know she could feel the same way about you. However, if she is in love with her boyfriend it's not a very advisable thing to do, as it will risk a friendship, or even your chances of being with her. At the end of the day, you can't help who you fall in love with, so if you want her, you might as well at least try. Just don't make any rushed decisions.
1 person likes this
• China
10 Jul 09
i think so ,because i always send messeges to her and grasp every oppotunity to chat online with her,so i suppose that ,more or least,she knew how i feel to her,maybe it is a good thing,after all ,sometimes , i really wan to invite her for a dinner or seeing a movie,but i just don't want to confess all my feeling to her,i don't want to break our friendship, what i need is time.
@srganesh (6345)
• India
9 Jul 09
Check it out whether he is simply a boyfriend or they are lovers.If the other guy is just a boyfriend then you shall chase her but if they are in a love affair then it is not fair for you to intrude.Just turn around and you can see wonderful girls more.Wait for another mind blowing girl.Cheers!
• China
10 Jul 09
to tell you the truth,she has two choices,not me included,she once said to that ,her ex-boy friend treated her very well ,but the problem is now she has fallen in love with another boy in my college,i don't know what her purpose is by telling this to me,and i just don't want to think of it again,i just want to chase my own love
@jayrene (2712)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
wow, she is already committed dude, dont create any trouble. dont you just hate it when somebody steals your gf? if you chase her you are stealing her from her bf. and i hate to tell you this, there will always be karma. you just wait what will happen to their relationship, if they are not for each other and break apart one day, then go for her. for the meantime maybe you can try looking for somebody else, maybe there is a right girl for you that is free and have no bf, no complications, no trouble, your mind and conscience is clean.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4071)
• United States
9 Jul 09
Should I chase after her? Hello Justiceliu. Personally I don't think that you should chase after her. If she is already happy with someone then you should just allow her to have her happiness. As you know there are always more than one fish in the sea. Why don't you find you somebody that is available. Well since I"m a female I usually don't try to get in the habit of chasing after a man but since you are a guy you have to look at it from a different point of view. Men were made to be the hunters not the hunted. So with that in mind, if you honestly believe that she is the one and if you feel that you can offer her the things in life that will make her happy. I would say go for it, nothing beats a failure but a try. Good luck my friend and happy mylot, I mean happy girl-chasing! ch
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 09
i think that if you truly feel a conection then go with it...i mean she might have a boyfrind but who knows how happy she is??? and who knows how happy he is/??? the importain thing is would you two be happy together...i beleave that there is a curtain someone for everyone in this world...and if you feel that she may be your curtain someone...go for it...its prolly not that nice but i ended up with girld who currently had boyfreind...didnt work out...lol...but it felt right at the time...
1 person likes this
@mimimeow (295)
• Hong Kong
9 Jul 09
It's not a right thing to do. And I think if you hesitate, you know yourself it's not really the right thing to do. You can keep on being friend with her and if she feels the same as you do, she will naturally break up with her existing boy friend and you CHASE her at that time. Morally speaking, it's just like stealing someone else money / property. Though I do not really like think someone's girlfriend is that someone's asset.
1 person likes this
@lealuvy2j (1984)
• Philippines
9 Jul 09
I don't think you should chase this girl. Put yourself in the girl's boyfriend's shoes. I don't think you would want someone who is planning and scheming to steal his girlfriend. It's all about respect. If you respect the girl and yourself, it is really best that you just let them be and leave them alone. I hope you listen to my advice. Happy MyLotting! :)
@Poison_Girl (4163)
• United States
10 Jul 09
I think you should respect that she has a boyfriend. I once met a guy who KNEW I have a boyfriend and he still kept trying things. I don't like guys like that and I had to ask him to stop calling me. That combined with a few other things made me not like him, but the fact that he couldn't respect me or the fact that I have a boyfriend makes me not like him. He just wasn't worth my time. You don't want her to feel like that, too, do you?
• China
10 Jul 09
in a way you are right,but you should know that not all the girl think the same way as you did ,not all the girl care so much about this,i just want to follow my own feeling,and finally thank so much for your response
• United States
12 Jul 09
I know that not all girls think the same way I do. I know that not all girls even have the same opinion as me. However, you were asking what we thought and I gave you my views. That's all it was. *shrug* Oh well.
@frinces (419)
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
in my opinion, u should look for another girl. i wonder why she is still entertaining you yet she already have a boyfriend. isn't it unfair to his boyfriend?! or maybe, since she is new in your city, she is just trying to be nice to new acquiantances. don't worry justiceliu, there r many girls out there and eventually after ur experience with her, u'll not want a girl like her anymore and thus u'll have a new set of standards in choosing a girl.
• China
10 Jul 09
it seems that very few of u agree on my act,thus i will reconsider it ,may it will be for the best that i should not chase her
• Philippines
10 Jul 09
hmm.. it depends on the situation. there's this saying that goes, "chickens are easily caught when they are tied." get it?LOL.Ü if you really like her, you can wait for her or just be with her as a friend. That wouldn't be so bad. what do you think?
• China
10 Jul 09
you are thinking the same way as i do ,so i will wait till the right moment,thanks
@colydf (913)
• China
16 Jul 09
I think you should first get to know how is the girl with his boyfriend, do they love each other and have a great relationship with each other or the girl does not love his boyfriend that much. Then you should know what the girl feels about you, does she have good feelings towards you.
• China
11 Jul 09
i thinnk you should do that , no try ,no answer .you wont know that maybe she likes you better .if i were you , i will definetely try it . as we have the same culture , maybe you have heared of Yu Minhong ,who start New Oriental ,Once in his speech , he said , if you love a girl ,you should try it without hesitation ,for 10 times is already short ,because only youknow how important the girl is .
@nrn2003 (669)
• United States
10 Jul 09
the answer is NO NO NO! Dont jeopardize that persons relationship just so that you can get maybe a shot with her. If she has a boyfriend she is attached to someone else. Dont waste your time or hers with just trying.