How to deal with begging co-worker

that's really a hard one there... i would take the example of that sandwich, since you dont eat it, i'll just say, sorry but i dont eat that kind of sandwich, at least you're giving him a hint that you are denying him his request. and if he asks for money, even if its only a little, i will say, oh sorry but right now i just have enough for me here. i think he is using his being 'likeable' to get what he wants from other people. i think if i am in that position id just say, sorry but i really dont have anything to give you now... and make joke about it.

If you have become good friends, why don't you handle him like a friend who obviously is in trouble? You clearly care about him, but his expectations are also clearly ruining your relationship... If it was me, I would plan a confrontation, outside of the office. As a friend, you should be able to go to him and ask him straight out, "What's going on?" Explain that you've noticed the drastic changes in his financial standing - he went from always having money to never having any at all... Be very blunt about it - ask him what problem has led to him not even being able to afford his own lunch? I don't really think there is anyway to handle this in a tactful manner and you WILL hurt his feelings... But he needs to understand that while you care about him, you work to feed yourself/your family, not him. He needs to see that his behaviour is inappropriate and if it comes right down to it, his callous treatment of other people is going to ruin his office relationships as well as his friendships (you). If you don't want to go this route, try turning the tables on him... Walk up to him before lunch one day and say, "I'm really swamped today and can't take the time, so when you figure out what/where you're getting for lunch, just pick me up a little something, anything will do. Thanks for repaying the favor!" If he comes up with an excuse, or flatly refuses, it's a perfect time to bring up that you do if for him.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about hurting his feelings. But since you're in a situation where you have to deal with him every day, make it clear that all his requests are going to be denied. Ignore them when that's possible or just give him a straight no. Do it often enough, and he'll eventually get the hint. He's obviously got a gambling addiction, and addicts aren't to be trusted. They'll promise to pay you back and never do it, try to get people involved in their indebtedness, and never give a damn about anybody but themselves. Sorry, but I don't consider him likeable at all.

hi lumenmom, just find a way to say no, doesn't matter if he is the life and soul, use the old phrase 'never a borrower or a lender be'. I know someone like that and their behaviour is quite frankly embarrassing, they will join a group at a table, eat or drink, and then leave before the bill. Also they will order a drink and then look round for someone to pay for it. The people here are most generous and often send a drink over, but they don't like being taken advantage of and they now avoid this particular person and think badly of them

lumenmom, no one has stood up to him yet because of the very reasons you give. He's likeable, he's the life of the office..... The only reason he is doing this to you is because everyone else in his life has let him get away with it. You need to tell him no. In a very polite manner - I say polite because you don't want to cause tension at work - let him know that you have your money budgeted and can not afford to buy lunch or lend him anymore cash. It will be compromising things in your own life and you just can't afford it.