Weddings-a function 'of the women,for the women and by the women'
By kalav56
@kalav56 (11464)
India
July 10, 2009 5:00am CST
. Now, let me brief you all a bit about Indian weddings... Our country is one of great diversity and there are many clans and communities here and all these have different regional practices and rituals, modalities etc in the celebration of weddings. One common underlying factor however, is that women deck themselves in all their finery. Men may also look decent but it is more pronounced in women. Many of the rituals involve exchange of new sarees, jewellery, gifts [not only to the bride or groom but all the relatives], display of things etc.., [the quantity and amount may vary but this becomes a part of the traditional marriages.].
Apart from the religious significance of the events there are also some practices introduced by people with the passage of time and on analysis it is realized that they all have a hand of ladies in them. These are not the integral part of the wedding ceremony [say for e.g. the tying of a mangal sutra [a thread with a symbol in it signifying that the girl is given in marriage to the man who ties the knot] or going round the sacred fire.
Ultimately, women do a lot of planning to do plenty of shopping, buy this and that and get excited about it all.
What are your views? it need not necessarily be only an Indian wedding but you can share your thoughts on the weddings conducted at your place.Indians are also welcome to share your views.
2 people like this
7 responses
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
10 Jul 09
Hi Kala!
What a beautiful description about women's role in Indian weddings
. I also feel that women look forward eagerly and anxiously, when their marriage is about to take place. They make so many plans for purchasing, buying themselves a special dress for their D'Day, making advanced reservations at beauty parlours and at artificial jewellar shops. They also suggest to their respective husband destination for enjoying honeymoon. Perhaps,in comparison men remain less excited about their marriage, speciall preparations before marriage.
. I also feel that women look forward eagerly and anxiously, when their marriage is about to take place. They make so many plans for purchasing, buying themselves a special dress for their D'Day, making advanced reservations at beauty parlours and at artificial jewellar shops. They also suggest to their respective husband destination for enjoying honeymoon. Perhaps,in comparison men remain less excited about their marriage, speciall preparations before marriage.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
10 Jul 09
Hi Deepak!Thanks for the response and not only the bride Deepak, all women in the family of the groom and the bride get excited because they are all going to get an opportunity to mingle with relatives and friends, enjoy someone else's cooking, and parade in beautiful clothes. I also heard a typical male remark that women consider this opportunity as a special occasion to spend at will and this is why they are so pleased.
Incidentally, I saw a film day before yesterday where the film ended with three weddings. THe comedian is seen with the camera and he delivers the following dialogue " Here is your wedding photograph.You have all got married .Come on men smile all of you!No more smiles for you"
I found it hilarious.
I found it hilarious.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
10 Jul 09
Hi Kalav, more and more people in the world prefer simple and quiet wedding. Many people in Singapore prefer the western kind of marriage ceremony.
Right now, the younger generation in India still adhere to the traditional wedding, even though it is very costly and time consuming, it also shows that the younger generation values tradition. Ten years, twenty years or even thirty years down the road, times may change, with the younger people opting for simpler wedding, that is the time when the older folks will lament the cessation of a beautiful tradition.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
10 Jul 09
Rightly said.This is a bane of our society too Scheng. Some people get into debt beyond their means in hosting parties and get-togethers like this. In fact, I was once shocked to hear that in rural India [one known vegetable vendor ] said that she spent a huge amount of money in celebrating the ear-piercing ceremony of her little son. She was a very poor woman with a good for nothing husband . If I w ere her , I would have been against imprudent spending like that . I found it shocking.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
10 Jul 09
Hi Scheng!
Apart from the tradition there is a lot of emphasis laid on the social aspect of the weddings too. THis becomes an occasion for friends and relatives to meet and have fun.But the traditional wedding has a unique charm when you think of the prayers and mantras and the rituals accompanying the wedding celebrations.
When younger people do not believe in the traditional outlook, then they opt for a marriage in a registrar's office. As you pointed out, old people would definitely miss the beautiful tradition.
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
10 Jul 09
Hi Kalav, the wedding dinner is an occassion to get together. In local context, especially among the Chinese, wedding reception becomes so expensive, and becomes the weapon to show off wealth. Many people are deeply in debt due to costly and elaborate celebration.
I wonder what the future will be like! Hope the traditional wedding in India continues for many more years.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
10 Jul 09
Hi dear,
Yes I agree with your views. In Indian weddings women have an important role by their presence. Not only on the function but on the other activities like purchasing of dress materials, ornaments etc. women have given more importance, of course men also accompanied when going for shopping but they are just there for handling financial department. In India there are different kinds of rituals, I think the wedding functions are different in each state. In the same state it varies in religion and castes. Yes we (Indians) have much diversity. Let us be proud on it dear.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
10 Jul 09
Thank you Shree for joining the discussion and the excellent particpation.Very truly said. Each community has such significance attached to some rituals and the wedding mantras [ if only recited with the true required sanctity ] are wonderful. I am certainly proud of our country and the diversified culture. Ultimately they will all have one moral behind their story.
@visaseetharaman (232)
•
10 Jul 09
Weddings are the best place for a get together.It enables the elders as well as youngsters to meet and mingle with each other.Another way of displaying their trousseau for the different ceremonies.The wonderful place to deck themselves in the heavy jewels is this wedding.So the ladies as well as the young girls have the opportunity to show off their ornaments.We the audience have the chance to see the latest fashions. It is real excitement for the groom's party 'bride's party and the spectators.But the greatest tension is for the bride's people .Think of the umpteen things they have to organize and spend.But the delicacies we are able to eat is mind blowing .Free for a day from cooking and the different items we are able to taste is another thing to look forward to.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
10 Jul 09
Yes the relative difficulty would be greater for the bride's people because they have to make all the arrangements for the wedding.But in many cases, the number of relatives and friends of the bride far surpass the bridegroom's friends and guests attending the marriage.
@aditya_k85 (737)
• India
10 Jul 09
It is not only in India but all over the world women take more interest in weddings and things related to it. Yes and in Indian wedding the men look really good in traditional outfit and the women may also look decent in it. Women definitely play more role in marriages and other things like decoration, selection of clothes etc not only in India but all over the world. It is the nature of women.
1 person likes this
@kirstinmomof2 (63)
• United States
11 Jul 09
I think all weddings are enjoyed more by women because we are the ones who have always wanted the perfect wedding and we want to be mrs right with our mr right. Men sometimes get excited but no where as much as women do.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
10 Jul 09
All this is a tradition,, I welcome the planning and fun,, as long as the pocket allows,, also I read somewhere that when women dress up,like queens,it is pleasant to the gods,,,personally I wish the weddings could have been simpler and less expensive,, not to cut out the fun,,Enjoy
