Am I doing the right thing? If not whats wrong?

India
July 11, 2009 11:26pm CST
I take pity on beggers on the streets. I never pass by them without a coin being thrust into their hands. This is all I can do now. Before I used to help both men and women equally. But later I found that most of the males who begged on the streets use the money collected by begging for smoking,drinking and drugs. They never felt pity on their kids and wife back home. I also found that women invariably took the money home to feed her kids. So i stopped giving alms to men. Now I give money only to women. Am I doing anything wrong by discriminating?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@sonusd (1547)
• India
12 Jul 09
see this is your personal decission I was also used to give money to beggars but now days i avoid them because I have sen some beggars who can easily find ajob because they are enough healthy to get a job but they do not want to work because they are getting money freely by just begging so . believe me this is increasing crime in our country so please try to avoid them
• India
12 Jul 09
Thanks for ur response. I respect ur views. But personally i feel that it is the duty of everyone to help the poor and the needy. Crime and poverty are related surely.But by not helping someone who is in need we are not in anyway helping reduce crime. When half of india's population is living in poverty and the government run institutions for the poor are mismanaged and corrupt, where will these poor turn to for help? Think over
• India
12 Jul 09
Thanks for ur response. But there is something called 'destiny' for all of us. Today's rich can be tomorrow's bankrupt. Remember MJ. Not all poverty need be self created. It could also be because of the 'will of God'. So personally i feel, wthout going into the merits or otherwise of giving alms, we must do our part in uplifting these unfortunate ones. Wars, thefts, accidents, natural calamities can turn a wealthy man into a pauper in no time. think over
@daliaj (5681)
• India
12 Jul 09
I used to do the same with beggars too. But, now I stopped giving them. I only give money to people, if I find that they have some physical disabilitya and are not able to work. I heard that there are people who own many beggars and the moeny collected by these beggars will be given to their boss. Hearing these kind of stories, I stopped helping beggars. I was cheated by a person once. I was on the way back to home from work. A well dressed person approached me and asked for money. He said that he need five rupees to go to his house since he lost his purse. I gave ten rupess to him. Later, I found that the same person is going to other people telling the same reson and begging for money. I narrated the incident to my friends, they told that the man will be spending the money collected for drinks. That is sad.
• India
12 Jul 09
Yes daliaji it is bad experience that make a good person bad and a bad one good. You had a few bad experiences and there is nothing wrong in the way ur feeling now. But personally i feel, no matter what we go through in life, our commitment to a noble cause must continue. We must not let one or few people spoil the bread of others who are in genuine need. It is our karma to help those who our heart says to help. It is their karma who seek help genuinely or by faking.
@daliaj (5681)
• India
13 Jul 09
Yes, you have a valuable point. We should not stop helping poor since some people are not genuine. I have nto stopped helping others, now I am concentrating more on helping poor people like orhans. I know a family who runs an orphanage. They come to my church. Thanks for your valable advice again.
@kukaii (14)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
You know Preethaanju, we got the same feelings too. As a matter of fact, Tomorrow, I' ll be feeding one of those street children and eventually will let him stay for the rest of his life here in our own house. I can't take to see them unwanted but since in your case, you found out that they use the money for smoking etc, I suggest you give them much more of what they need. Or you could possibly donate or give money to older one because i believe those who are in there teens or adult stage would probably feed and find their self what they need and also to let them learn. By the way, its not wrong. Just think that giving has its limit.
• India
12 Jul 09
Nice to know there are still kind hearted people like u in this cruel world. Thkx for ur repsonse
@kukaii (14)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
thanks also :D
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
Not really, what matters is your intent on giving. But personally, i prefer giving food rather than money. When you give food, you feed them. When you give money, they might buy something else, like what you said. I salute you for finding joy in giving! Keep it up and happy mylotting!Ü
• India
12 Jul 09
Thanks for ur answer. But i have one point to add. Giving food is alright. But man has other needs as well. So if everyone gives only food what about his expenses for his other needs?
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
You can also give water or drinks if you want or blankets. Giving money will just trigger him/her to buy unnecessary things. What's more necessary than food, air and shelter? Check out Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, we've been using it in our nursing care plans when i was studying nursing. have a nice day!Ü
• China
12 Jul 09
I dare not to judge because I do not know the situation really.In my country, there are also many baggers in the street.At first, I also gave money to them,because when I saw them ,I felt very sad and I really want to help.But after I thrust money into hands,I found that there are many beggers in the same streets. I wander that how much money I can afford and how many I can give money to.When I talk about in my dormtory, my roommates told that many beggers are professional.Actually, they can work themselves,but they do not want to work.They just want to get money without effort.I can not understand why they do so.If they go to work,they can earn more and raise their social status.So,now,I am afraid meeting beggers in the street,because I do not know whether I should give money to them or not.If I give,they probably misunderstand that they can make a living through this way.If I do not give,I afraid that I misunderstand they are the professional begger but in fact they are not.So,I also confused facing this problem.
• India
13 Jul 09
Yes i do agree there are organised mafias running the beggars show. But as i said before, these poor people may have been forced or compelled to beg under fear of threat or duress. Never know. But personally i do not dig too deep to find their bakground. I feel pity on women on the steeet and help in whatever small ways i can. I always carried this feeling, that if the husbands were right in taking care of their wifes, these women need not be begging in the streets risking sometimes even their personal safety and honour
• United States
12 Jul 09
in my opinion,you are doing the wrong thing.You should be fair to them not only to the women but also the men.One thing i want to advise you,You should know what they do with the money you give them.If they do a good thing with it like buying food so keep going your good attitude.
• India
13 Jul 09
I respect ur opinion. I did not discriminate without reasons. I had a few personal experinces of seeing men misuse money for worngful purposes. Never seen a women do that so far. Thx for ur answer
@nitu1952 (286)
• India
12 Jul 09
Yes you are doing the right thing. one feels very bad if we see someone is in a very bad situation. and oe try to provide every possible help to that peros. bus he is right on other side. men takes the money from the lady for the drinking purposes. they doesn't take care of their child
• India
13 Jul 09
yes men are not women when it comes to emotional attachment to family. They can be selfish. Thks for ur repsonse
@a_manick (880)
• India
12 Jul 09
i usually give alms to very old people whom i think cannot work or very small children ,who should not starve.According to me young men and women can work,they are too lazy to work.My friends not to give alms to beggars,but i get some sort of satisfaction in helping those who are unable to work .
• India
12 Jul 09
we all have our onw perception of things. Yu are doing it in ur own small way. Keep the good work going and may god b with u all in this noble cause , Thnks for ur repsonse
@xenna1986 (228)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
I don't think it is wrong for you to do that. Every one is given the freewill to actually do what we want. You are actually rational. I think, if I were in your shoes, I would do the same.
• India
12 Jul 09
So nice to hear these words of encouragement. Thanks for ur response
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
Even children who are beggars use the money for unnecessary things, such as gambling. Although we shouldn't be "discriminating", we should also take into account where the money will go to. Giving money to them is not just the only way we can help them. Although there exists syndicates, let us be careful of not generalizing too much. There are "independent" beggars who are pure in their intentions and are not controlled by anyone.
• India
12 Jul 09
Yes u hit a valid point. I am against giving alms either in cash or otherwise to kids. I usualy hand over whatever i give to adults accompanying the kids. I dont want these kids to get a taste of begging and continue this profession in their parents footsteps.Thks for ur response
@JamieRose (168)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
Hi preethaanju :) You have a point, when we give out money to beggars on the street, we really don't know how they spend them. Although if we give them food or clothes we don't use anymore, we are (somehow) sure that it will be for the better. I suggest that giving them our extra food or clothes is better than money.
• India
12 Jul 09
Thanks for ur response. But as i said man had diffrent needs. Food is one of them. If everyone gives just food what about his other expenses?
• United States
21 Aug 09
It makes sence that you would feel that way, and statistically speaking that's normally true. However not always. There are some men down on there luck and activly tring to get on their feet again, while some woman are looking for a "quick fix" Actually, one thing that happens with woman (more often than with men) is that they will use the fact that they are woman and usually with kids to make people take more pity on them. There have been many cases of a mother taking her children with her to beg out on the streets for cash, and with the "pity money" goes and buys whatever their "fix" is, the kids are, for her, just a golden opportunity for a good con.
@icehut (508)
12 Jul 09
I used to give coins to the beggars until the day I witnessed a van pull up alongside a beggar. The door opened, the beggar climbed in with his takings... and another beggar stepped out of the van to take the begging spot. The van drove further along the street, and another beggar was replaced... It was an organised begging syndicate. If you want to help the homeless, there are charities you can give to that will use your donations the correct way to feed and clothe the homeless...