should the husband earn more than wife?

@cedarlgp (207)
China
July 12, 2009 12:02am CST
I believe many people from different country will say the answer is yes.why?part of the reason may be "being a man must be a man",many people jsut say that you are a man,it is the reason.I am a chinese man,almost all of chinese people agree man/husband should earn more than woman/wife,otherwise,that man would be regarded a weak one. yet,I must say this is unfair to man/husband.we must admit there are many outstanding women,and they earn more than many man,if man should earn more than woman,it seems to prohibit the latter get married with the former.we all agree love is the important thing to make the two get married.so,I think whether husband or wife earn more is normal?what's your opinion?and if you got married,how about you?
6 people like this
63 responses
@tobepure (187)
• China
12 Jul 09
Well, i'm not married and not even in a relationship. But from my point of view, it does mean a lot to the couple if they do hold the opinion that man should earn more than woman. So if the husband earns less than the wife, both of them will not be happy about this. The husband will be shamed of this and the wife will look down upon his partner. There is an old saying "no respect, no love" How can the wife love his husband if she doed even not respect her man? This relationship will not last for long. But if the couple have open minds and do all they can to earn as much as they can, there is no problem at all! Just as you said , love is important factor in the marriage!
1 person likes this
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
12 Jul 09
I guess a wife loves her husband more if he is a positive man,even if he has a low income or out of job temporarily.because if he is a positive man,she has a hope that he will find a new job and may have more and more income,if this happens really,she will feel safe to live with him.I say these words above according to my wife.I do earn more than her now,but she often tells me she will loves me more if i am positive and try to earn more,and whether I could really earn more or not is not very important.
@kayedanda (1850)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
Spot on cedarglp. I totally agree with you that it shouldn't matter, as long as the husband and wife helps each other out in the family finances. And I am not saying this because I earn way more than my husband (although I am everyday thankful that he does not make issues out of it). I am saying this because it's the only fair thing to expect. Nowadays when the economy is so down on its knees, it would be impractical to, as you say "prohibit" a woman from earning more than a man. Great discussion! One of the most interesting I have come across since returning here at myLot.
1 person likes this
@iamsolucky (1242)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
Our culture says its yes, the husband must provide the needs of the family. The food, the shelter and other things so its the main responsibility of the husband to earn a living. But things have changed, because of economic crisis and stuff, most married women already look for a job and have a working mother role to help her husband earn a loving because there are cases that a husband's salary wont be enough to cover all the family needs and expenses. Sometimes with the determination of the women, she get high paying job than her husband. With this scenario, the husband absolutely earn less now, but that doesnt mean that the women is powerful than him. It just a problem when the two already fight for control and power and money. Happy mylotting and smile always!
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
I must say what you have said sound sensible.
• China
14 Jul 09
i am a Chinese girl. In my opinoion, the husband should not earn more than the wife. but the difference should not be too large. Marrige needs the balance.
@janebeth (2033)
• Philippines
12 Jul 09
i think so, beacuse he is the head of the family..!! it's his responsibility..!!
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
12 Jul 09
A husband often knows his responsibility clearly,he has to try to earn more and more to give his wife and children a rich life.and we must be more actual to admit there are many wives earn more than their husbans do.
@pehden (84)
• United States
13 Jul 09
This could seem correct but what if the man was disabled, and could only recieve money that was only about a fraction of the wifes income. He would still be head of household but she would still make more money.
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
17 Aug 09
of course not, i should say. but i've read again and again that one source of tension in the household is when the wife is earning more than the man. i think it would take more evolution for the human brain to realize that we're not in the hunting stage anymore when it comes feeding ourselves. come to think of it earning is like bringing home the day's hunt. it is too hard for anyone to accept and even imagine the woman bringing the bigger meat of the day. but the woman earning more than the man being not a cause of tension anymore would soon disappear. that's where everything is heading anyway .
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
17 Aug 09
whether the husband and his wife love each other is the key.
• China
12 Jul 09
No,I don't think so either.Every man is equal in the earth.Who earns more depends on his or her ability.Every person has different ability.Nowsdays, we shouls abandon the idea that man is stronger than women and man is higher than women.Women is very strong in the world now.In Chinese traditional opinion, man is higher than women,therefore ,they should in charge of the whole family or even the whole country.Actually,that thought gives men great motivation along with great stress.If the man can not fulfill some achievement,maybe he would be looked down upon by others.That is unfair to men both in physical and mental health.I am a woman,I think that it is not matter no matter how much monye a man could earn.What is important is he has tied his best to make money.
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
Thanks for your words here,being a man and husband,I do like your opinion.I am so glad to communicate with you.
@ky1119 (699)
• United States
12 Jul 09
I say who cares who makes more money as long as it's being made and the bills are paid. Simple as that. This isn't the stoneage. I get up and go to work every single day just as my fiance does. We split the bills. I pay for the satellite tv, the internet, the cell phone bill and the electric bill, sometimes the gas bill depending on who has the money at the time. I also buy the groceries and household stuff. He pays the car payment, the rent, the four wheeler payment and his bills for accounts with the car parts store (he's a mechanic). I know it seems like I'm paying more bills, but he's actually shelling out more money. So, it doesn't really matter as long as the bills get paid. Oh, and we also have our own separate checking accounts.
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
I guess you are a excellent wife.Thanks for your understanding for man and husband.
@nitu1952 (286)
• India
12 Jul 09
i think this is not necessary that the husband should earn more than his wife. its all depends upon the education qualification of the person. moreover it doesn't matter whether husband earning is more than his wife. one should not create difference between men and woman.
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
some husbands do earn less than their wives,and they also get along well with each other.
@srganesh (6344)
• India
12 Jul 09
I think all over the world,it is seen like that.This comes from the male chauvinistic mind to prove the dominance on girls.Man has to be responsible,man has to be more age than the girl in the marriage relationship,man has to earn the bread,man has to earn more.........But times are changing fast as girls compete equally with men.But are less paid compared to the men.Only after the IT industry they enjoy equal salary.Men has to change their attitudes.No doubt current boys will accept the girl earning more but it is the elders who should accept it.Cheers!
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
there are some friends also told me that woman were paid less than man as they do the same job.
@whateva (786)
• India
12 Jul 09
not really..
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
welcome here.
• India
12 Jul 09
Now a days you can find women are edge over men. You can find them in every field as a doctor ,engineer,pilot and scientist.Women want themself to be the best.My opinio is that they should earn equaly .They both have the equal rights in society.we should not say he should earn more and she should earn less. Its there own house to build them
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
13 Jul 09
I admit you tell me good words.Equal right doesn't mean earn more or less,it means man and woman have same oppotunities in our society.and man should try his best to make his families living richly and happily.It's his responssibility!And love could make a marriage last longer and healthier.
• India
12 Jul 09
The issue that you have mooted I guess is a burning topic in many households . It primarily depends upon the mentality of both the husband as well as his wife and also I believe in the dispatity in their incomes . If the diffrence is just a matter of couple of thousands ,then it shouldnot be a issue ,but if the gap substantial then the man's ego sometimes gets the better of hinm, which is totally wrong in my opinion.
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
12 Jul 09
yes,this is a long-term existent topic between per couple.
• India
12 Jul 09
well i am from India.. wo my views are diffrece from other.. FIrst of all.. i belive that.. if husband is working.. then i wife should not do job.. Its my only thinking.. I know this si diffrent from other.. Wife should not do job.. that's waht i think.. so there is no matter of earning.. Still i am single.. and i will not aloow my wife to do job. and earn for house.. I will earn for my family..
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
12 Jul 09
Your opinion is really different one.And I guess you are a young man full of self-confidence,it's a good thing.wish you a good marriage.
• India
12 Jul 09
I Think The Husband Has To earn And Support His Wife, But in Some Cases Where the Husband is not in a Position to work , this may be due to some Sudden disability OR Long period Of bed rest is adviced, then there should be Some Contribution From the Wife ....... Thank You .... Lot More On MYLoT ........
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
12 Jul 09
Real love is the most important factor to the existence of one marriage.Thanks your words.You are welcome!
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
12 Jul 09
I don't know about your country, but where I live men earn a lot more than women. For every $1 a man earns, a woman doing the same job earns $0.75. I guess traditionally men are expected to go to work and women are expected to stay home and take care of the house and children. But in these modern times, there are lots of women that want to go to work and there are lots of men that want to stay home. I would like to see a future where both men and women can chose to work and lead successful careers and neither is considered weak or worth less than the other.
@cedarlgp (207)
• China
12 Jul 09
Thanks for your reply and told me your opinion,i like your words,it is wisdom.Traditional topic in china is that man should earn more than woman,but the situation changes in mordern cities,as you said,many men also choose to stay at home and their wives go to work.I insist only when this is recept by most people the women are really equal to men.
• Philippines
11 Dec 11
Hi cedarlgp! Traditionally, we look at the man as the breadwinner of the family. Because of that, it is expected that the man earns for his family. But nowadays, life is no longer that easy. Therefore, it is already expected in many different cultures that both husband and wife works for the family. I personally think that it does not matter who earns more. What is more important is that the couple finds ways to support the needs of the whole family. In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ~Robert Sexton
@nrn2003 (669)
• United States
15 Jul 09
I dont think it matters who makes more money. If you both are contributing and enjoy your job and are working hard at it, then it shouldn't make a difference. Just like I really dont think it matters if the mom or the dad stays home with the children while the other one works. I think it is good for at least one parent to stay home if they can. But saying that a guy should make more money that a girl is stupid. Times are changing within the world these days. People need to accept that women are working hard just to overcome the burden that people throw out that women are not as good as men so they shouldn't make more money.
• India
14 Jul 09
I do agree with this fact ' Man has to earn more than a Woman ' coz he is a man.Thats the way it has been set in the world.It has got nothing to do with man or woman who is weaker among.Both has to get balanced in strength & responsibilities.But, the important thing we always forget here is ,a woman has more responsibilities besides working.She has to look after home & children ,their studies ,cooking ,make home pleasant and many more.When compared , a man is less free with some of these things. I can bet most of the man cannot handle home single hand for more than an hour.There is no fair & unfair.So, he ought to raise his hand high atleast in financial one. I wouldnot care who is earning more or who's hand is high in my marraige life but, I will make sure to set a pleasant atmosphere for whoever it may be , me or my partner who excells in their respective works get best efforts out of it.
@jdyrj777 (6541)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I believe that kind of thinking comes from the era where the male was the main and somtimes only bread winner of the family. The provider whereas the female was the life giver. Times have changed. Most households are two income famlies now. I personally dont think it matters who makes more money as long as everything gets paid.
@meyows (438)
• India
14 Jul 09
I don't know what is the situation in another countries. I am from India. According to our culture, wife will not go out to work. She will some responsibilities to her husband to her home etc, and the husband goes out to earn to the survival of his family. Wife has to give birth to children for her husband, to form a family and then she'll have to take care of the children etc, Husband is free from all these responsibilities. So that extra time he can spend in earning. And automatically husband should earn for his wife and children or else he should not marry. If wife also earning means she'll become independent and she will take decisions herself about her life. She may decide not to have children etc.