Second Chance

@payout (3794)
United States
July 12, 2009 3:43pm CST
Me and My Boyfriend broke up because of his mistakes and I got tired of all the stuff he has been doing. Well I left him alone and we broke up. So yeah I met a friend and liked him and my boyfriend was going through a lot of crap. He hide it from me. His ex before me showed up and started beating on him. He deny and turn me down. Just so he can protect me so his ex wont try to come and fight me. Well at least thats what he told me. So yeah He hasn't been eating and been calling off work looks a mess and Drinking all the time now. So today I woke up with a phone call and he walked miles to come see me and talk. I told him I kiss someone else and I was being honest and he was just crying and crying break down crying asking for me to take him back.. To be honest I never seen him like that just break down like that. Now I gave him that chance he promise to change and so far today he showing it. He got rid of some of his friends who he thinks and I think aren't good for him.. I have a good feeling that he will change.. HE knows if he mess up it will officially be over. WHATS UR OPINION? WHAT WOULD OF YOU HAVE DONE?
4 people like this
14 responses
@submerryn (1304)
• Malaysia
14 Jul 09
My hubs and I, we broke off once during our courtship too. But that is because we found ourself to be on different wavelength. I moved on and hook up with others, but my hubs (then friend) courted me back and I somehow went back to him and now we are married with a kid and are happy. If you still love him, you'll know the answer. You just need to listen to your heart and it will give you the answer to your question. He looks like he really loves you, unless he is a professional actor that is! Good luck to you and may you and him ended up happily ever after.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jul 09
I really believe that if someone is going to lie, or cheat on you once, they are going to do it again. I don't believe that people change. I've been with too many people who seem perfect except for this one little thing that turns out to not be little at all. Don't believe him if he says he'll change. It's never true, and he will just end up hurting you in the end.
@rainmark (4302)
13 Jul 09
Well for me, when the guy acting like and really looks like he is regretted on what he done to you and he shows love on you then my heart will going to give him second chance hehehe. Just hoping that he will change for good.
1 person likes this
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
13 Jul 09
I am a guy, i cannot be on your shoe. But in this case, what I can say is you have made a right decision. Giving someone else another chance is really good. Maybe he was just affected by his environment or the people around him. now, this time that he is already far from his bad friends, there is a 99 percent changes that will happen to your boyfriend. Just be careful. If you encounter problems, fix it at once. Trust each other. understand each other. Be loyal to each other. thank you for sharing this wonderful story to all of us.
1 person likes this
@DrPain (31)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I believe if he hide that from you then he cant be trusted. It is true people change but you don't know if he is having relations with girl. You did the right thing being up front with him. People don't realize what they have until its gone. Its 10% of the time people get the chance to relive their life due to violant crimes, accide3nts and etc.. Ask your self, who is he kidding. he sould have told you something before he lost you or not? think about the time spent with him. Then think about that kiss with the new guy. What was better? to me, being i am a man and all. He needs to find his manhood!!!!
1 person likes this
@yelpfish (13)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I think your decision is exactly that, your decision. It might not be right for everyone, but that doesn't make it wrong for you. I hope he's learned the error of his ways and will actually be making some positive changes in his life that will benefit you both. If he messes it up this time, I'd probably say that he's using you as a fall back, but that's not something you can know right now. I'll keep my fingers crossed that things go well for you both!
• United States
12 Jul 09
I am sorry that you have had to experience this. But like they say, what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. You always have to listen to your heart on these matters. Sometimes, even though others may not like our decisions-we are the ones who are left to stand strong. No one else has to have the relationship, just you. If you believe that there is something to hang onto, than you should try. You will know in time if it is going to work out. At least this way you will not regret no giving him another chance.
1 person likes this
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
12 Jul 09
Sound so sweet and romantic, just like a movie. congratulation for your make up and hope thing will working well for you. However, you can't put all your trust on him now, you have to give yourself a lot of time and him also... I am saying he is not changing but he wouldn't change that fast easily. And if he does, then good for him... another thing, this just the first time and he will not try to scroll it up... and no one does right? So, take it easy and try to get to know each other more if you can... if time has give you then you know what is right and what is wrong about him. Now, you and him are good together... is the good thing.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Jul 09
If you still have feelings for him and you feel that he is being sincere then I think a 2nd chance could be a good thing. At least you will know that you gave it your all. If he messes up again then stick to your promise and leave. Good luck...hope this works out for you!
1 person likes this
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Well, it sounds like he really cares about you and is willing to try to change for the better, but I would say give him a second chance but keep your guard up for a while. If he goes back to his old ways then he is not capable of changing and will not deserve any more chances.
• Singapore
12 Jul 09
hi payout, To me, I will give yr boyfriend a second chance, especially if this is the first time he's been doing "stuff" to you. I always believe in the good in people. As such, if he shows signs of remorse and never going back to his old self, give him that chance. He may come out a better person. People do change, although it may not be instantaneous. But please be wary, tell him that if he does it again, there will be no more third chances for him. He has to know that very clearly. So, he has to prove to you that he is indeed a changed man and not mess up again. And you have to take a firm stand as to what is acceptable behaviour from then onwards.
@chillpill90 (1936)
12 Jul 09
Your very silly if he was liein to you before he will do it again people dont change that quickly. If he wants to change he should for him not you! You shud not have taken him bk!You are just setting yourself to get up again.
1 person likes this
12 Jul 09
Well I was also in a similar situation like yours. My boyfriend was actually cheating and I found out through the girl(s) he was actually cheating with (twice), mind you this was in high school. I was also having a problem with the company that he kept. So throughout high school we were together off and on, we'd break up and he would call being ever so sweet and romantic saying he is sorry and that he is going to change, he loves me and he can't be without me.(he broke down and cried too, and this was a football player, a huge guy!) It would be great for a couple of months then we'd end up right back at square one with the same exact problems. Being in high school I was blind in love and kept going back. So the last time we broke it off I had a "friend" that I had met at work and those times when me and my boyfriend were broken up (and together) we were talking on the phone. I liked my friend and I decided to give him a chance, now we are married with two beautiful kids. I just got tired of my boyfriend cheating among other things so here was this person being nice and treating me like I was not accustomed to being treated. My opinion to you is I know you might love him,but why go back to something where you know there was a lot of mess going on? Ok so far so good he is changing, but how long do think this will last? You said you had this friend that you liked, you must have never told him how you felt, since you are now back with your boyfriend. If you did and you told him about the boyfriend don't be so sure he will be around when something else happens in your relationship for a shoulder to cry on. I don't know how old you are but I do wish the best for whatever you decide.
• China
13 Jul 09
I think I also will give him just only one chance.Two person fall in love for years is not easy.Several days ago,I also have a serious quarrel with my boyfriend,which will almost lead to the end.I wanted to my boyfriend to correct his shortcomings,which is losing temper easily.At first,he told me that,all his relaitves can accept his shortcomings.He just lose his temper to his intimate relatives,so as his girlfriend,I should have accepted his shortcomings.I think it is very rediculous.Why should all his relatives accept his shortcomings rather than he himself correst shortcomings?I can not accept his opinion.I think that if he can not correst his shortcomings,I will broke up with him.To my surprise,he sent message said that he will try his best to correst and holp that I can help him.Fianally, I agree.So,I think that if he is the first time making the mistake,just give him one chance.If he can not correst in the future,make your dicision without hestation.