My life completely changed today, and I don't know what to do next.

@rebelmel (1387)
United States
July 20, 2009 6:58pm CST
Back in December, a week before Christmas, I was at home once night, and I became a victim of home invasion. Two men came into my house, one of them with a gun, and demanded all of my money, my boyfriends brand new mac book pro and my cell phone. My boyfriend works under the table, and rent and Christmas were coming up, so we had about 2500 dollars in the house. Months later, I was at work, and I saw the man with the gun outside. I called the cops and he was arrested, and since then I have heard nothing besides words like "arraignment" and "testimony" and "victim-witness advocate." The first two trials were wastes of time. Finally, today, I was to testify that the man broke his probation when he robbed me. I did great in court, and the judge ruled that he had indeed break his probation. But here's the problem; the judge set his bail MUCH lower than it had originally been. His bail went from 50,000 dollars down to 1500 dollars. Within minutes of court coming to an end, he was already posting bail. I ran home. I don't think I can ever leave again.
9 people like this
18 responses
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hi there: I'm so sorry you had to go through such a terrible thing, and now the judge and stupid system has let this idiot get out on such a low bond; that is NOT FAIR to you or anyone else that goes through this sort of thing; If you don't have a dog I'd get one, a good mean looking one with a loud bark.... protect yourself anyway you can, I know you said you cannot move right now but I'd seriously consider doing this if I were you; good luck to you I really do mean that; Wow!!
1 person likes this
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I wanted to get a dog, but I moved to a very small apartment where they are not allowed. And even if they were, there really wouldn't be any room for him. I wish that weren't true, though. I would feel so much safer if I have a big, growly dog by my side at all times. I am really trying to figure out a way to move out of this city. Finding the money will be difficult, but hopefully I can figure out a way to do so. I guess it is a good thing that I started trying to earn from the internet. It's not a whole lot, but it's an extra 100 bucks a month, that maybe if I work harder at, can be a larger sum. For now, I am going to ask my boss if I can work from home. I live in a much safer building than before, and even though I am constantly scared, I feel much better behind my locked door than anywhere else. I don't know how to talk to him about this just yet, so I am going to pace myself. Today I came home straight after court and refused to leave because I was hysterical. I couldn't stop crying, and for good reason. Tomorrow I am going to call him and tell him that I just don't feel safe leaving my house right now and I have been very upset and I am probably not stable enough to work. I plan on letting him know that I am available to work all day from home, which I have done in the past, so hopefully he will let me do that for a little while.
@dmrone (750)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hi! It is a shame that the courts seem to let so many people who are victims of crimes down. I would contact the police and see if they could make some rides through the area. I would also check as to what he was on probation for in the beginning and also try to find out what his criminal record looks like. I do hope things get better for you.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
Make sure you always have a cellphone ready with battery and put a speed dial for calling the cops like just in case. Bring a pepper spray with you, just in case.. Try not to go alone at night anywhere and if you really have to, with a group of friends where you will not be seen easily. Go to a crowded place and try to avoid going to the ladies alone too. If there's a crowd, the better. Avoid dark alleys, even if it's the best shortcut ever. If possible, whenever you are out, wear shades, hat and making sure that you are not that easily recognizable. It's best to be safe than sorry. I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. If ever you see something suspicious or someone stalking, you should not hesitate to call the police ever.. Take care, my friend..
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I already do most of these things. I wont leave home without my sunglasses, and I almost always stay in after dark. I try to avoid going out at night, but if it's late, I will either take a cab, or make someone walk me home. I never walk alone at night anymore.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
That is good.. I hope that you will always be safe..
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Thank you, I appreciate that. I am trying my hardest to stay safe, and that's just because I am too scared to do anything! But I guess it's better that I am too scared to do anything, rather than thinking that nothing bad will happen! Better safe than sorry.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4071)
• United States
21 Jul 09
life completely changed........... Hello mylot friend. You must realize that not everyone out in the world is bad. It's unfortunate what happened to you but you cannot allow this incident to traumatize your life. If you feel so unsafe in your neighborhood, perhaps you should consider moving. It may take you some time but soon you will go out again. You will not allow these mad men to make you a prisoner. I think that is what's wrong with the justice system, there is not justice. Happy mylot!
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
The guy has a "stay away order" from the court. The problem with getting a restraining order (at least in my state) is that he either needs to be a relative, a past roommate, or someone I have been romantically involved with. Because he is none of those things to me, I cannot get a regular restraining order. To get a supreme restraining order, I have to go to supreme court and plead my case. If it is accepted, I will have to pay $150 and then he will be instructed not to come near me. If he does, he will face a fine, but that's it. How messed up is that?! Since the robbery, I moved, and I am on a floor where there is no way for him to access my windows, unless he had a ladder. I live in a pretty big city, and there are cameras in the back, so if he had a ladder, I am sure either me or someone else would notice. I have two locks on my door right now, and a police lock, just in case.
@iwrite (5040)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
What kind of ruling is that? the bail is less than what he had stolen, coming I am sure the judge have more sense than that right. This is worst case I ever heard. you better get the police to protect you man. The judge is a total idiot. confirm.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Yeah, I am very upset at how this turned out. Like, if this guy had put away everything he stole from me, he could pay his bail and still have money to play around with! I don't understand why his bail was so low. I am definitely going to ask about this and try to figure something out. But I have a feeling that there isn't much I can change.
@iwrite (5040)
• Singapore
21 Jul 09
Yes totally agreed this is a ridiculous, did you managed to recover any of the stuff that was stolen from you? And you are right he can pay the bail as still have enough to party. Plus I doubt your apartment is the only one that he had rob.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
No, we havent gotten anything back yet. I doubt that we will. After the next trial, I am going to see if I can sue him directly for what he stole from us. Because he is not just going to get away with this. I am going to do everything I can to make sure he doesn't get out of this. I know for a fact that he has robbed other people, but the people he robbed never contacted the police, so now they can't use that in court, because it's hearsay. UGH!
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Jul 09
That's really awful, but probably he'll be smart enough not to do anything stupid and will stay away from you. I really, really hope so. Is there any recourse at all or protection or anything?
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
23 Jul 09
I have no idea about any of this. I feel like I am absolutely clueless as to how this all works. I have frequently had to ask the DA and lawyers and police what the hell they mean, because I don't understand half of the lingo! I am under the impression that I am supposed to write a victim impact statement which will be brought before the judge before he sentences this man for breaking his probation. That trial is in the middle of August, so until then, I am going to be laying low. I think that if his bail was set so low, that maybe they will just sentence him to an extended probation, instead of giving him jail time. That thought scares me. I figure, I better write a darn good statement. In this statement, I am not supposed to talk about the incident at all, just the impact it had on me financially, emotionally, psychologically, etc. I blog pretty often, and I know I have written entries about how terrified I am and about how stressed out I have been. I figure I should include some of those entries too.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
21 Jul 09
It's terrible that you went through all that and then they basically just turned him loose. Now you have to worry about retaliation. I'd definately keep your phone close, your doors locked and don't go out without someone with you...preferrably someone big and strong. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I always keep my two locks on my door, sometimes three. Depending on how freaked out I am. I have always been like that, too. My old apartment I always had three locks on the door, and there wasn't even any reason for that. I refuse to leave the house without someone, and if I have to, I always take a cab. Retaliation really scares me. I know that they will automatically know its him if something ever happened to me, but I don't want to have something bad to happen to me for him to get what he deserves!
@bingchen (1126)
• China
21 Jul 09
something always change,we did not pay attention to it,when we notice their existence,something would be happened.we face these things with common heart, and think about better way to deal with,maybe this is attempt for us and make an attempt of human's confidence to over come difficulty.when we recall something have happen several times in our life,this thing is one of them,we can do our best to deal with it,we need details of plan,chance of success is larger than we dont be prepared for it,so calm down and find the way to do it.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
This response didn't even make any sense to me. What does this have to do with the topic I posted?
@x_Jo_x (1041)
21 Jul 09
That sounds so terrible! Gives me absolutly no faith in the justice service at all! People who deserve to go away for a really long time never get what they deserve, and even a life sentance doesnt necessarily mean life! Its stupid! Im so sorry to hear what happened to you, that must have been so aweful and i think youve done an amazing job getting as far as you have, and managing to testify and things! I really hope you manage to get over this! Maybe consider moving house? Might make you feel a bit better. I know thats very drastic and costs loads of money, but it might make you feel safer. New start at things! You need to try and build your confidence up again, once you have that things will start to get easier in time. Good luck!!
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I have already moved out of the original house where I was robbed, but I didn't move far enough, I am only about a 15 minute walk away from where I used to be. But you are right, I don't understand the justice system. It really doesn't make any sense that this man had such a low bail. His lawyer kept saying he was schizophrenic, too. Doesn't that make him more likely to do something wrong?
21 Jul 09
Hi rebelmel, What can anybody say but phone the police and ask for advice in what the h-ll do they advise you to do now. The justice system is totally wrong, people who are so obviously only happy living on the wrong side of the law should somehow be kept away from peaceable people such as ourselves. I don't mean that they should be kept locked away for ever, but people such as yourself should not have to live in fear of these people. If I was you I would be looking at some way in which I could move, not just house but city, maybe even state. I would be far too scared to carry on living in that city and carrying on with my day to day life. Good Luck in whatever you decide to do.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Oh, trust me, since I got him arrested a few months ago, I have been terrified to leave my house. I am afraid that people would be after me (because before being arrested, he pointed me out to his friends, and I hear rumors that he is in a gang) My every day life has changed a lot, and I really DO want to move out of this city so I can start to live a normal life again.
@marguicha (131099)
• Chile
21 Jul 09
Can´t you appeal? The bail was lower than the robbery. Aren´t they askeing them to return what was yours? What the judge did amounted to telling the man to go after you. It´s a shame!!! Can´t the police protect you? What does your boyfriend think of this? I´m SO sorry. Take care, please.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I came home crying, and he tried to make me feel better, but he didn't know what to say. I think he is scared too, because this guy knows who my boyfriend is. I hope that I might be able to get my money back, but the major trial hasn't begun yet.
@yugasini (12836)
• Anantapur, India
21 Jul 09
hi rebelmel, leave it to god,what is written in your fate,that will happen,do not worry be happy...all the best
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I am sorry, I do not know that I believe in a god. I feel like I create my own destiny, and I feel that I need to hide in order to prosper.
@JOIEMARVIC (2342)
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
That is so scary. You should be cautious right now. Who knows he might break into your house again. But I really do pray that nothing bad like that happens to you ever again. Can you relocate? You will have peace of mind and you can sleep tight at night without worrying about being break in. I am really praying for the best.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I really appreciate all of your well wishes. Since the robbery, I have moved into a new apartment. I am in a safer building now, but I am still in town, and I am worried about being followed or something like that. It has been a very scary 8 months for me, and I am really hoping that sometime soon I can come up with enough money to move somewhere that I don't have to worry so much.
@zhorak (491)
• Turkey
21 Jul 09
That's so ridiculos. It isn't fair! I am sorry for your money and other stuff. I think you should strenghten your door lock and windows. Maybe a burglar alarm helps too. If the justice don't help you, you must protect yourself on your own. Next time they may also hurt you. Happy myLotting
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I moved to a different apartment since then, but sadly, it's not too far from the old one. I live in a big city, but its only a short walk away from my old apartment. I am afraid of going outside most of all. What if someone is watching me? Before I got him arrested, he pointed me out to a bunch of his friends, who I have been told are gang members.
• United States
21 Jul 09
I am so sorry that you have been through this. It isn't pleasant for anyone at any time. I think I would call the police and tell them the situation and perhaps they can patrol your neighborhood a little more. You might consider staying with someone else for a little while.
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
I moved out of the original area, but not too far away. My job is in the neighborhood about ten minutes away from where I was robbed, so I am terrified that I am going to be followed or something, so I am not going to go to work. I know it sounds irresponsible, but there is no way I can risk my life like that. I am really very worried that someone is going to follow me, or try to hurt me, and although that it may be unlikely, I am not going to risk my life.
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
w3w,that man was already out of the jail..?well, if that's the case, you better find a new place where that man can't go after you, for your security, because we don;t know how that man thinks..he might do the same thing he did before, and other worst things could possible happen..
@rebelmel (1387)
• United States
21 Jul 09
That's what I am afraid of, but I don't have the money to move anywhere, and I don't have a van, or a job elsewhere. I am actively trying to make money online so I don't have to leave the house to go to work, but I don't think that I am going to be able to make enough to support me. I am at a loss of ideas. I really want to find a way to move out of state, or something.
@Shery32 (424)
• Saudi Arabia
21 Jul 09
Sorry for you Rebeleml, That's too bad!!! They always do bad things and get away with it. You should be extra careful and not keep any money and have a protection device with you - anything you could think of. I suggest taking a self defense course to be ready for anything alike. I think it is always good to have some company with you at all times. Take care
@smileonstar (4012)
• United States
21 Jul 09
Hello, that's suck... why they do that? it is not safe for you then... you should move away or go away for awhile now... just to get everything calm down a little bit. You are talk to the police how you worry about this man and how much problem will have when he already saw your face in court. I think they will try to help you out in other way. wish you good luck and hope thing will get better soon