How do you Enjoy Life when a family member is dying?

United States
July 20, 2009 10:01pm CST
My family member has since passed away, he had stage 4 Stomach Cancer and it had already spread to other parts of his body. Life at that time was not at all enjoyable. I was 19 at the time and spent most nights at my dying uncles house since his ex-wife had died months before he did, I wont say how since it would be speaking ill of the deceased. They left 3 daughters behind in this life and they all seem to be enjoying life... now at least being 12, 14 and 17... even though their oldest sister lives with her mothers side of the family and my mother has custody of her two younger sisters. I was truly frightened and bewildered, never sure what to do and I certainly didn't enjoy life that much since I was scared, because my uncle was so ill. I really didn't know what to do at the time, but his daughters would have been taken away if someone didn't stay in the house with him at all times. My mother stayed during the day and had me for the most part during the nights although once in awhile my brother would stay. I just wasn't equipped to deal with it... I would panic if he felt worse and call my mother in the middle of the night to come down because he was doing poorly and get yelled at...thinking perhaps I suppose that it wasn't that big of a deal... but he was asking for her. I felt like crying all the time at that time, because I didn't want him to die, for other reasons too... but I'd never dealt with anything like that before and I was just lost and I couldn't talk to my mother about it... she either is distracted by something else she is doing as she was then or becomes irritated trying to explain things to me as though I were still a child even to this day... but I have to wonder if anyone enjoys even a few moments of lfie with a dying family member... because even though they're dying one should still enjoy life and hopefully allow them to enjoy the last of their days as well... although Hospice doesn't really help other than keeping them at home where they seem to die faster because they made him take off the feeding tube...
1 person likes this
2 responses
@snowy22315 (74701)
• United States
21 Jul 09
That must have been really horrible for you. I cant imagine coping with a loved one's dying. It would be something that was really scary and very upsetting. I had an aunt once who was dying and did not really have much of a support system. She lived far away from me but she would call me for support which I would gladly give her but I really didnt know what to say to her much of the time.
@underdogtoo (9591)
• Philippines
21 Jul 09
It's not easy when there is a member of the family who is dying. I would not mind dying myself when my time comes.It's part of life and I consider it an adventure to go where we go when we die.This life is also an adventure although it is something which is not so easy.