okay... I know this is silly but here goes.....
@AithneFireStorm (212)
United States
July 23, 2009 11:52am CST
Okay so I have been thinking a lot lately.... I know now is not the right time as we, like many other Americans are struggling with the economy..... But I have been thinking about having a baby... I have not expressed this desire to my husband yet as I know he will say not yet to wait But part of me just wants to go ahead and he my last child and be done with it.... I know now is not the right time but what can I say that is just what I have been thinking about for the past couple months!
Have any of you moms or dads out there ever wanted another (or your first) child and known it was not the right time financially or whatever for that?
4 responses
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
25 Jul 09
The economy is poor and has been since last year. There is now the danger of swine flu that came into the community at the end of my pregnancy. My adorable little baby daughter was born four weeks ago. I think a lady knows when the right time to have a baby is. It might be biologically, emotionally and financially. I feel I have had my last child now. I have a son aged 14, a son aged 2 and a baby daughter. Good luck with talking to your husband and having another baby.
@AithneFireStorm (212)
• United States
27 Jul 09
We talked a little bit last night... We are gonna wait a little bit longer... Maybe when my youngest is about two he said we could re-open the discussion.... He wants to feel like he can change jobs and get us situated with thast before we really talk further cause he is supremely unhappy... But that's another story for another day... This would be my last child as I have had difficult pregnancies with my other two... I am actually thinking of having my tubes tied when the time does come for us to have a third child... I had pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes with my first, was in active labor for 12 hours and then the doc realized my son was stuck..... My second I had gestational again and had to control it with insulin and I ended up having a second c-section... So I figured since I would have to have a third c-setcion when the times comes I would get my tubes tied... I don't really want more than three kids and my husband fears that I will be worse off anyways.... During my pregnancy with my youngest I was blacking out we finally learned he was pressing on a vein in my stomach and somehow that was causing me to blackout but it is one of those places that it is normally only when you lay down flat... I was blacking out on my feet too... So needless to say that is a concern for him as well....
@ckhair13 (185)
• United States
24 Jul 09
We tired for 4 years to get pregnant even though we knew financially it wasn't a good time....my one friend pointed out that it probably never would be the right time financially...so we ended up pregnant & she was born right before the recession really started. By the time I went back to work I was really feeling the recession extra hard cuz here I had been on leave for 14 weeks & now even though I recieved disability benefits while out, it still wasn't as much as I would've made had I been working so we got behind & we are still behind one everything & she is 13 months now...I don't regret her for a single second cuz she is the best thing that has ever happened to us & I wouldn't change a thing, but now its like all of a sudden I am realizing that now I have to buy diapers every time I turn around, before she was eating baby food & that got expensive too, now she eats what we eat, but still now I buy extra things for her like yogurt, applesauce, cheerios etc for her that I didn't really buy for us before....its totally up to you guys...I am not here to judge you, but just really think about it first, can you afford another mouth to feed? Can you afford to buy diapers & formula & supplies etc...? Good luck in your decision.
@AithneFireStorm (212)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I would NEVER take any action like that without discussing it with him first... We have at least discussed it with both of our other children. Even thought the discussion before my oldest was something like "if it happens it happens if not that's okay too"....
My oldest child was 2 and half when my youngest was born. My youngest is almost 16 months now.
I guess I will wait a little while longer and give myself a little more time...
@julbau18 (273)
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
I am expecting my first baby on november. And honestly we are not financially stable to support our baby. So I think your husband is right. Wait until you two will be financially okay. Express it to him that you have that desire now but don't insist him to have. Try to understand also that its not easy to get a child and support having nothing on your pocket. Pray to God that as soon as possible you can achieve finacial freedom so that your desire will come in reality. I also know what is the feeling of having that desire because I was too on your situation. Now that we were expecting of course I am really happy but sad in some other way because I am afraid on how can we support our baby's future. Don't think of your desire now instead think of baby's future from now on if you will pursue it. Hope it helps. God Bless you and your family.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I don't think that this decision is one that you should make on your own. You have got to discuss if with your husband. If you were to go ahead and get pregnant without discussing it with your partner, would he feel deceived. Would he be upset.
Honestly, I don't think there is ever a "right time" financially to have a child. We are all human and the majority of us use most of the money that we bring in to support our lifestyles. We live within our means, or beyond our means if you use credit to support your lifestyle.
What does having another child really mean. It means that you will have to rearrange your budget to work in the expenses that you incur when you have another person in your house. You will have to cut out some of the luxuries that you really enjoy and instead use that money for diapers and formula and other baby necessities.
Neither of my children came at a time when it was "right" financially, but we love them just the same and we've worked our lives and budget around them.
