Pathological Lier...how can you ever trust them again...can you?
By chickangel
@chickangel (161)
United States
July 23, 2009 1:08pm CST
I have been with my husband for 4 years, we just got married on Valintines Day this year.
While we were dating and I was pregnant with our daughter he has repeatedly cheated on me, and kept begging me to come back. He has even sworn on our Kid (I was pregnant at the time) that he would never do it again...he did. (I was in the service so was stationed 12 hours away from him).
He has ripped my heart out so many times...I know I should not have forgiven him as many times as I have.
I had to get out of the army for not having a care plan for the baby so moved in with him a few months after the baby was born (me the baby and my then 7-yr old daughter. he seems to have changed, he went to work and came home around the same times everyday. the only thing I hated was when he was on the computer he closed the windows when I came by...and he texted alot. but other then that he was home with me...I could still be harboring over the past and jealous of everyone he talks to at that point.
So 2 years of living together we get married, I tell myself that the Vows state "from this day forward" so everything in the past is past, this is our fresh start...would have been until he goes to one of those military schools that is 4 months long..he never wanted me to go visit him and would get mad when I brought it up, hardly ever answered the phone when I called, or responded to my text messages...going out every weekend with "friends from class" or just hanging out with "friends from class"...he was rear ended while he was there, he told me he was with some friends from his class"...when he finaly got home in June, and we went to eat dinner at the mall, he was texting the whole time (our first dinner as together in 4 mo)...I seen a text come in it was a girl he went to high school with...they're friends
or are they, I mentioned the texting to his mom and her name...she is a girl he wanted to be with but couldn't because he was 18 and she was then 15...now 23
so jealousy sets in, then just a couple days ago I found the police accedent report....HE LIED that girl was his passenger!!!!!!!! he claims he just didn't want me to get teh wrong idea and mad....since he lied (given the past)...what do you think...I don't trust him anymore...he didn't want me to go there, and he lied...if it were innocent he had no reason to lie right...
2 responses
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
25 Jul 09
Sorry to tell you I wouldn't trust him at all. First of all being away for 4 months and he doesn't want you to visit or he doesn't take your calls or answers your text message. Red flags all over the place. I can't believe with the cheating before you got married you would marry him. Once a cheater always a cheater. There is more going on than meets the eye and he is playing you once again. I feel so bad for you. Its the worse thing to love someone and find out they are cheating on you.
See I was in a relationship when I was younger and madly in love with him and he cheated every chance he got. I had two kids with him but when he asked me to marry him I said NO because I knew it wouldn't work out. Now thirty something years later he is still calling me and I really don't care about him anymore. I accept the calls and deal with them but I feel nothing for him and I know I made the right decision back thirty something years ago.
@chickangel (161)
• United States
25 Jul 09
I finally got an email back from the girl she told me they are just friends, and have been since high school. she said that he told her I wanted to visit and she thought it would be a good idea so she can meet me and our daughter, but he told her we didn't have the money she was going back and forth from chicago and arkansas and stopped to visit him in rout...it makes since and that would not have been a big deal, except that her lied about it...to which his excuse is that I would have been mad if he told me she was visiting...why would I if they are just friends, it was the lie that brought on suspicion and made me mad. but after talking to the girl I do feel much better.
@sugarplum9084 (1771)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Oh man, I would be so angry with him. If I were you I would think the worst, all the clues basically lead to that. He is hiding thing to cover his butt. Most people do not change their habits when they are cheaters, it's just in their programming. I mean some can, but it's usually unlikely. I would have a big discussion with him, and not let him boohoo about his "new man self". You just have to lay your foot down and not let him do those things to you. He really puts a lot of emotional stress on you. I am sorry to hear about what he is doing, but I think that you could get through this.
@chickangel (161)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Thank you, I know I keep falling for his routine, I actually did move out but he came to my moms late at night telling me he loves me he wants me, and he asked me to come home...I did go back, but I still not getting answers out of him...he acting like nothing happened, while I still can't let go, then alone trust him.
I emailed that girl in her face book account (don't know if she seen it or not, so I emailed again in my space (at that that way I'll see if she reads it, or if she was even online...facebook don't list last-login or read or unread for sent messages)
I texted the number that was on the police report but she gave that phone to her cousin..who is the one that answered it.
I just know if he can't canvince me that he didn't sleep with her than I am going to have to leave him, I can't live like this not trusting the man I am with.
