My youngest of the triplets was diagnosed with Aspergers earlier this week

@meandmy3 (2228)
United States
July 24, 2009 10:43am CST
Actually PDD NOS Aspergers, which is on the spectrum for autism, as you can imagine this has been a hard blow for me and my family But I can not let it get me down. I have too much to do and my son needs me to be strong. He will be getting much more therapy as a result of the diagnosis and well Mom is doing a ton of research and trying to learn all I can about what to do to help him Keep us in your thoughts and prayers and what ever advice you have would be great.
3 people like this
16 responses
@schulzie (4064)
• United States
26 Jul 09
How old is your son? How did he get diagnosed? I have 4 children, and 3 of them have Fragile X Syndrome. All 3 of them are in Special Education programs as a result of the Fragile X. My oldest daughter had a very good friend in her class who has Aspergers and I understand what you are going through. His mother explained it to me best as that his brain has many many files in it but there are no file folders for the files, in other words the information is there but so disorganized that it is difficult for him to concentrate, focus, etc. Her son was 8 years old and loved cars, trains, anything that moved on wheels. He was very happy, energetic and cheerful. I know how it is for a mother with a child with special needs, trust me. Of my 3 children, the oldest - my one son is moderately retarded with an IQ of 40. My older daughter is mildly retarded - not sure of her IQ. My youngest daughter has Fragile X Syndrome but we do not know yet if she is acutally mentally retarded or not yet. I would suggest that you get your son fully evaluated and use whatever resources are near you in your state to find out how to deal with this. He will more than likely need to be in some sort of Special Education program and have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) set up for him. That will ensure that he is getting the best education and resources that he needs academically. Good luck, be strong. God would not have given you your child unless he knew you could handle it. God gives these babies to the mommies that can do it. You never realized it until you are in this situation. Here are some links that might help you: http://www.aspergers.com/ http://www.aspergerssyndrome.org/ http://www.dmoz.org/Health/Mental_Health/Disorders/Neurodevelopmental/Autism_Spectrum/Asperger%27s_Syndrome/ http://www.forsyth.k12.ga.us/12941061621482513/blank/browse.asp?a=383&BMDRN=2000&BCOB=0&c=53770 http://www.forsyth.k12.ga.us/12941061621482513/blank/browse.asp?a=383&BMDRN=2000&BCOB=0&c=53766 http://public.doe.k12.ga.us/ci_exceptional.aspx?PageReq=CIEXCIEPS Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!
• United States
24 Jul 09
Keep strong. As far as "having" something what your baby has is workable if you have the patience to give him the support he will need, which from your posts I believe you will. Aspergers does make life harder but when one of these kids find something they can connect with you will be absolutely amazed at what they can do. Our friends 6 yr. old has issues in school (partially because the school doesn't support him the right ways but that is another discussion) but if you put that little boy in front of a computer he can make you a power point presentation that makes the professionals look like kindergartners with crayons. At 4 he made one about lizards that was better then anything on Discovery channel. No one even knew how he figured out how to do it since neither of his parents had any clue the programs where even on their computer. On most occasions you never even know this child has an issue none to mind Aspergers. It may seem like a whole lot heaped on you with all the info they must be throwing at you, but he'll do just fine in his life.
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
28 Jul 09
When it comes to getting my children the services and help they need I am the most patient person there is. I will fight for him till the end.
• United States
28 Jul 09
All the power to you. Too many people lay back and believe schools and Doctors when they say things like "that's the best that can happen". I send you all the well wishes in your sons life and the strength to fight for him because I know that sometimes the fight is a lot harder then the living with it. ( My oldest has some learning disabilities that approach a wide range of aspects due to an early delivery after 15 weeks of medicated bed-rest, Medication they can now prove caused many of her problems) Don't let anyone tell you he can't and never let him believe he can't.
• United States
25 Jul 09
I am certainly not an expert on aspergers, however, I have a lot of experience in working with children that have been diagnosed with asperger syndrome. I am a special education teacher but prior to teaching, I worked as a therapeutic staff support, TSS for short. As a TSS, I was in the classroom one on one with students whose disability interfered or hindered with their learning or to guide the student by keeping them on task, etc, while the teacher was implementing a lesson. I am glad to hear that you wont let this diagnosis get you down because it certainly isn't the worst thing, however, as a parent myself, I can imagine it's still very frightening to hear that your child has not been born or developed normally as you had planned. It reminds me of something a college professor once told our class and it has stayed with me ever since. But she compared it to planning a trip, and you do everything you are supposed to, make the reservations, pack all the right clothing, bring the right amount of money, tell all of your friends and family exactly where you are going, and so on and the time finally comes for you to go on your vacation, you get on the plane and your destination is not at all what it was planned to be. You were supposed to be in Hawaii and you landed in another country, someplace foreign, a place you have no idea what to expect, and you can't understand their language and you have no idea what to do or where to go, you are scared.......but you quickly realize that you will accept that you are here in this foreign land and that you will do everything you can to learn about the place, meet people that are familiar with this country and will help you to navigate. And by the sound of it, you have already begun to adapt, accept and accommodate. You will find that there is a lot of support out there for you, your child and your family as a whole. Therapy is a great place to start and you are already doing that. The children that I worked with, who were diagnosed with asperger, were the most beautiful children I had ever worked with and taught me so much. I will never forget them. They were very unique and very special children. The hardest thing I ever had to endure while working with them was saying goodbye when they progressed as far as they possibly could and my services were no longer needed, which was wonderful for them but hard for me. I will never forget the little obsessions, or fascinations that some of these children had, it was so cool because they would tell me everything there was to hear about whatever it was they were interested in. For example, one of my clients loved fans. He collected every kind of fan you could imagine. Ceiling fans, box fans, oscillating fans, window fans, old fans, new fans, broken fans, antique fans, you name it. Each child was extremely knowledgeable and so intelligent, it was amazing. Usually what I needed to work with them on was socialization skills, appropriate interactions, staying on task, and of course coping skills for when things didn't go their way. That was tough but with a gentle way, lots of patience, consistency and parent input and support, it worked. I have many success stories and nothing negative at all to say. I loved working with these children and miss them all so much! Keep the faith, your child has been diagnosed early, which is fantastic and you have dove right in and are getting educated, reaching out, etc. It will be frustrating at times but you are your child's advocate and no one will fight for him the way you will so NEVER GIVE UP and know that your child will be successful and just as happy in life as his peers because you provided unconditional love, guidance, support and know that even though this isn't what you expected at all, everything will be o.k. and your child is even more special than you imagined he'd be. I wish you the best of luck and I hope to read updates from you in the future. Also, if you need any thoughts or input in regard to experiences I have had with children who have asperger, please feel free to ask. Like I said, I learned so much from these children and I would love nothing more than to share it with others.
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Thank you so much for your great response. we will do what we have to do for our children and I will never give up on him..
@cobra1368 (704)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I have been doing A LOT of research on diet recently, and studies have shown that children with autism and related disorders greatly improved when gluten was removed from their diet. I can't remember where I saw the reference, but if I find it, I will pass it on to you. But I think it is worth a try. Eliminate anything and everything containing wheat or wheat gluten from his diet. There are a lot of things on the market now that are made gluten-free. I found out about gluten free ice cream that is sold at the regular grocery store! There are cereals, breads, and all sorts of things that are made without gluten. It turns out that a lot of people are allergic to wheat, only most people don't even realize it! That is the only advice I can think of. Good luck!
• United States
24 Jul 09
Most children with autism do not have problems with gluten. That idea is based on someone's "leaky gut" theory, which has absolutely no scientific backing. If a child has a gluten problem, it's likely to be an allergy, and an allergist should be able to test for it without experimenting with the child's health. Unless a parent really understands nutrition, especially children's needs, that kind of diet can lead to nutrient deficiencies. Among parents who do their research, and the autism community in general, the gluten or gluten/casein diet is considered quack medicine. It's supported mostly be parents who are convinced that they can find a cure for their child's autism, and will try anything, no matter how useless, and potentially dangerous.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 09
There are actually SOME scientists who think it has some merit, and some who don't. No, it isn't widely accepted, but I hardly think doing an elimination diet for a brief period of time to see if that helps is dangerous to the child. If there are no changes in the child after about six months, then we know it won't help to eliminate it. So what. It's not like she'd be killing the kid by denying him wheat for a little while. That isn't dangerous at all. I was merely trying to make suggestions of things she might want to try. It is up to her to do her own research and decide what she wants to do.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
28 Jul 09
We are willing to try anything to help him, if it means we change our diet then so be it.
• Saint Lucia
24 Jul 09
I will pray for you but as i learnt yesterday we have to remember GOD in times like these and trust and believe that your son will be ok.Pray with him as young as he is asking GOD to make him strong and normal.I know its hard,because i feel my heart tearing apart when my daughter have a bad cough so it must be bad on you.May GOD bless you and your son as you tread this journey.Pray and believe that he will be ok.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I know that God has his hand in this and that he has a plan for my child, children, he is a very bright young man, too bright some times. I am confident that with the right therapy and with me being his advocate he will excel in life.
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I'm sure her son is already strong & by the way, who wants to be normal? Her son will do awesome! Children & Adults with Aspergers/Autism are just like you & me, maybe even smarter & maybe better off then we are. :D
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I'm here to let you know that it will get better as time goes on. You will learn new things each day. Just keep doing research & remember we are all different. I always new from day one something was a little different & I had a gut feeling but to actually get that diagnoses is hard.... but you will grow & learn to embrace his Aspergers as I have learned to embrace my sons Autism.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
29 Jul 09
Thank you. I have had the gut feelig since he is one. It finaly hit me today and I just sat and cried. I knew it was coming. Hearing it and knowing it in your head are two different things, likewise knowing it in your heart is different as well.
@snowy22315 (99943)
• United States
25 Jul 09
Aspbergers kids typically have trouble socializing with others. I think if you can provide opportunities for socialization and appropriate social behavior wil help him alot. I think his diagnosis is really quite bright and it should be looked at as a fairly mild issue that can be helped if treated appropriately.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
28 Jul 09
He is a triplet so he gets tons of socializing.. and we are in therapy for that as well. He has been in school since he was two, three days a week for three hours. I think we are ahead of the game
@Raven7317 (693)
• United States
24 Jul 09
Hello my friend... I'm so sorry to hear about this latest blow... If I've gotten anything from you and our conversations, I know you will be strong, you will do what is necessary to see your little one through it and you will all persevere. I can see you now: guiding him further in his therapy, discovering new ways to reach him and using new techniques to help him discover the world! You will use that strong, determined, passionate head and heart that God gave you and combine it with the research you do and your son will be better for it. You'll never give up hope, you won't wallow in misery (at least you won't let your son see it!) and you will wake up every day knowing that day will have at least ONE blessing in it! All these things I've said, I have incorporated into my own life, in part because of you and your advise and our interactions, in part because it's just how I want my own son to live, so therefore, I must live that way too. Warmest and best wishes, many prayers to you.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
28 Jul 09
no time to wollow in anything. I have to be the advocate for my children and fight for everything. They are my priorotiy and my full time job Thank you for your kind words..
• United States
24 Jul 09
I'm glad you're trying to learn all you can about Asperger's. There's plenty of good information out there, but there's also a lot of hatred and stereotyping, even from parents who have children with Asperger's. There are quite a few parents who blog about their experiences, and they can be very helpful, especially in keeping you from feeling that you're alone. One site lists new posts every day from parents and from people on the spectrum. A lot of wonderful people with Asperger's write about their lives, and it's good to see it from the point of view of adults. Sometimes, when you and your child are having a hard day, it may be difficult to remember that many of his problems will become less troublesome as he grows older. His brain will mature and he will learn. It's not something to be discouraged about. I spent my whole life wondering why I was so different from most people and it wasn't until I was in my sixties that I learned about Asperger's and understood myself better. Check out the Autism Hub, the site I mentioned: http://www.autism-hub.co.uk/ Best of luck, and just remember that there are plenty of us adult aspies out there living normal lives. Your son will be an adult some day, so let him be who he is, with his different brain, and don't try to make him into something that he isn't. He'll thank you for it.
1 person likes this
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
24 Jul 09
Thank you so much I have book marked the site and will start to read on it as well. It is a long journey and I am sure over the years I am going to need the insight of other parents.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (30588)
• United Kingdom
1 Aug 09
I know much about Asperger syndrome and I have come across it a number of times in my life. I am a primary school teacher and a parent of three children one of which has special needs. I have taught an autistic boy and he was challenging compared to the Asperger syndrome. They had difficulty with emotion and took conversation very literally. They had specialist knowledge in their top subject. It is called higher functioning autism. There are many useful non fiction books on Asperger syndrome. There are some novels like 'The curious incident of the dog in the night time' that I remember hearing about. Your son will be fine and I hope that your family feel a bit better by now about the news. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@mommaj (22870)
• United States
29 Jul 09
As a parent with a classic autistic child, worst on spectrum, the diagnosis is a blessing. As a parent you probably knew something was wrong. Now you have a diagnosis as proof and your son can get the help he needs. This is not a bad thing. As I have said before. They are kids. This is basic parenting. You parent by the mental age not by the physical. My child is almost always happy. He doesn't have to deal with the feelings of others. It's okay to him. You will find as long as you don't look at this as a problem, it isn't. Just go with the flow and now you can get him the help he needs. I don't know your financial situation but your child may qualify for disability. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Jul 09
good luck to your son,by the way,i watched a movie named "Juno" yeaterday evening,which told a adoption story,i recalled your stroy which you have told us in here.hope you could see this movie,may be you have more feeling than me.
@meandmy3 (2228)
• United States
29 Jul 09
Thank you for remembering and for the suggestion I will have to check it out.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
24 Feb 10
I hope that you have not been discouraged by your son's condition. My son has been diagnosed with mild Asperger's about a year ago. He has been doing fine since we have taken the necessary steps to help him in his daily life. He still lacks motor cordination and he will never be a star in sports. HIs handwriting is still illegible sometimes but he tries hard to please us and overcome his difficulties. You are in my prayers. HOpe htat your son is doing better.
29 Aug 09
I have autism four of my chidren also this is my forum http://autismandaspergersinthefamily.freeforums.org/index.php
• China
25 Jul 09
I heard that the kids with Aspergers often have high IQ,and Albert Einstein is one of them. they are talented person. if you study psychology deeply,you will find that many people have sub-clinical symptom but they still lead a normal life.i suggest that you should consult a psychologist and get some professional advice, but in daily life,you should treat the kid as if he is normal ,remember Gorrest Gump? cheer up!
@cyrus123 (6364)
• United States
25 Jul 09
Hi meandmy! I will certainly keep you in my prayers! I don't know that much about autism, aspergers disease, PDD, etc. but we have a lot of kids who come out to the therapeutic riding center where I volunteer who have these problems. The director out there has a son that has classic autism and aspergers. Also, the girl who is on the drill team out there with me is autistic, plus she has PDD and ADHD. you wouldn't believe how much these kids enjoy coming out there. I hope everything goes well for you. Kathy.