Should you date your friend's Ex-boyfriend?
By sirkana15
@sirkana15 (106)
Philippines
July 28, 2009 11:52am CST
My Guy friend broke up with his girlfriend which happened to be one of my gal friends. we were always together with the guy and one day, he asked me if i can have a date with him..Not the type of friendly date that we use to do but something that can lead us to the next level..He's really pursuing me and sometimes, i get to fall with his tactics but in my mind, Im still bothered because i know that my gal friend still has feelings for him. what would you do if you're in my situation?
4 responses
@travelingtheworld (98)
• United States
28 Jul 09
hey sirkana15,
I think a lot of people have experienced your situation before. However, it really depends on you and your friend. Personally, I just find the situation awkward as it is and probably wouldn't consider dating anyone that my friends have dated before. Sometimes though, the situation just doesn't sound as logic as what I just said. Hey! Love isn't logical at all right? So if you really like this guy, maybe the best way is to approach your friend and ask her how she would feel about it. If she's the kind of friend that you think she is, then she should be ok with it and support you guys. If there are problems or concerns, then discuss it with her and then use your own judgments on whether or not you think dating this guy is the best choice for you or not. For me, it comes down to whose more important to me. If you feel that there is something incredible that can develop with this guy then by all means go for it! If it's just a passing thing, then I would say just be normal friends, your friend might even appreciate you more for it. Just my two-bit right there. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide! :D
@sirkana15 (106)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Hmm...sounds sensible but i have heard of the rule of feminism-"you can't date your friends ex-boyfriends". i did what i think is best and that is to leave the guy. It's hard to be happy when you know that someone is hurting...Karma gets you in the end
@travelingtheworld (98)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Good for you! what you could of decided to do would have hurt you or your friend either way, but you decided not to hurt her instead and I applaud you for that! Personally I wouldn't recommend anyone dating a friend's ex, it's too complicated, too messy, just too much drama! But love works in weird ways that can be unexpected, i guess in the end, it really comes down to what the person decides. I agree with your decision but don't worry, there's so many guys out there for you to meet or YET to meet. You'll find your one and only in the future for sure! :D
@allisonbrk (155)
• United States
28 Jul 09
Eek. Next time the guy asks you out tell him up front that his ex girlfriend is YOUR friend too and that she still has feelings for him. Tell him that until she has moved on that the two of you can not be an item. It will ruin your friendship with the girl and possibly put a strain on your new relationship with this guy. Maybe eventually after she moves on you might be able to do it, but I would also talk to your friend and tell her that he is moving in on you. Tell her how you feel. It will be uncomfortable but it helps to get things out in the open.
@sirkana15 (106)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
By the way, this actually happened a year ago and i stayed away from my guy friend because i don't want anybody to get hurt...you actually got a point...but why are there some friends who don't even care if it is their friend's ex-boyfriends?
@justbeingtiffany (1156)
• United States
28 Jul 09
you can't control how you feel so i would say its ok to date your friend ex. but i would probably talk to the guy about how he feels about one of his friends dating his ex. if he gets mad and doesn't want you to do it. he's not a true friend because a true friend would want you to be happy. a friend of mine dated the guy that she knew i liked first and i got over it. he was just a crush to me. there be more fishes in the sea for me and for your guy friend.
@bulzika (279)
• Dominican Republic
28 Jul 09
In my country no one will date his friend's ex-boyfriend. It's not morally right.
