Could you forgive infidelity?

United States
July 30, 2009 8:59am CST
I wish I could say no! My husband has not cheated on me! Thank god! But this is a question I have asked myself. Before I was married the answer was always no. Now I look at my kids, our home, and all the assets we have together and I wonder what I can forgive? I think maybe too it would depend on the situation. If he confessed to me! If I found out on my own! How long it went on. If it was planned or something in the moment! Was it a stranger or someone I knew! If he loved her! What are your thoughts? What would you do or how do you feel on this subject? Does the fact that I might forgive make me weak?
1 response
@x_Jo_x (1041)
30 Jul 09
I dont think it makes you weak, i think it makes you strong! To forgive someone who has done that would take a lot! And especially to put your kids first, that is a really great thing! Obviously it would depend on the situation though, like you say. For me, the big thing would be whether he told me and whether he was 100% Honest about it. I might not like to hear it, and i would be mad at him but in the long run, i would be more willing to forgive. However, if i found out by myself, someone else told me or he said "It was just a one off" or "it was just a kiss" or something then i found out it was much more than that and had been going on for a long time - I would leave him for that! For me now, because of my life experiences - They MIGHT get a second chance but no more than that! If they screw up once, but are honest about it and are truely sorry i would forgive. But if they screw up again then how can I trust them again after that? Without trust you dont have anything in a relationship. I think that is the key to this question, if you can still trust them and love them then you should carry on. But if theyve done something so bad that you cant trust them and dont love them then whats the point in it?
• United States
30 Jul 09
I agree! I think trust is key in a relationship! Without trust a relationship can't make it. Adultry is hurtful and can kill any marriage or relstionship. It will be hard to forgive but like you said if he came to me and was truly sorry, did not make lame excuses, and was even willing to go to counseling or sleep on the couch for a while I might be more willing to forgive then finding our some other way like walking in on it. I don't think I could ever get an image like that out of my head. Thanks for the response;-)
1 person likes this
@x_Jo_x (1041)
30 Jul 09
Yeah i think if the image is stuck in your head then every time you try to get close to that person you would just be thinking about them with someone else. Thats how i would feel anyway. It must be horrible to walk in on it!