Once a cheater...
@scarletwitch12 (562)
Philippines
August 3, 2009 5:16am CST
I just got out of a four-year relationship. I found out that my wonderful boyfriend was actually fooling around with a girl and got her pregnant. I broke it off because I knew I couldn't possibly live my life with a cheater.
Just recently, my ex started calling me again telling me how much he misses me and that he was still in love with me. I kept thinking revenge is sweet...
Some of my friends who learned that he was trying to win me back asked me if I was interested in taking him back. Afterall, they said we have this really long history together and that sometimes, cheaters do have a change of heart and they change.
I assured them that I would never get back together with him again because it was against my principles to take back someone who already had a responsibility with someone else.
The conversation with my friends still left me with a question, is it really possible for a cheater to change and be faithful when you take them back?
2 people like this
5 responses
@babyfiona08 (652)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
That was a sad story and I can relate to it.
I've experience the same thing before except for getting the third party pregnant.
We're together for almost 3 years when I found that he was cheating me. He was with this girl. and what's hurts most is that, the third party is one of my old friends. It is really painful. Like you, my ex also made a way to win me back. He keeps on calling not just me but my family members as well.
With your question, I think everybody deserves a second chance but It depends on the situation as well. If i was in your situation, I won't reconcile with him too because he has to face a responsibility and stand for it whether he liked it or not.
Cheaters can change but it will take a period of time.
2 people like this
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
I am sorry you had to go through that. Maybe cheaters are impossible to change. The truth is that it sometimes doesn't even matter if they did because it would be hard to get to trust them again after they went astray.
Thanks for responding!
@meng23 (145)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
A cheater can change. I know its possible. Nobody is perfect so why don't you forgive. Since it is the past so you give him forgiveness. Maybe he change because of the tradegy he had. And learn somehow form it. But turning your relationship back. Im not in favor with that. The issue is that he has already a big resposibility in his life as the father . I think your just right. Don't come back to him. There are lots of single person who deserves your love.
The past relationship is not the basis. How long it was or sweeter. What matters is the present situation.
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
You make a good point. It doesn't matter how good it was in the past. No past is ever worth more than the present, right?
Thanks for the advise.
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
3 Aug 09
no. I don't think so. I think if a spouce or partner is going to stay with a cheater the change will really be their own. They will have to come to terms knowing that they may not be first. It would take a strong reason to do that.
In my case it was a step son who needed a mother. I always knew my place but I dealt until My son was old enough to take care of himself and his fathers stupidity threatened others.
I think you made the right choice but be warned that those questions "what if" and "maybe he had changed" will come up from time to time.
To Thine own self be true..... your morals are who you are and you are right to stick by them.
1 person likes this
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Yes, you are right. The what ifs do come once in a while. Even after the dust settles after a separation brought about by cheating.
Thanks for responding.
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
i think the best question to ask is are you willing to suffer the same mistake that he has done to you in the past if you're going to give him another chance? :) think about it girl... thinking revenge is sweet but believed me, you'll still be the one who'll suffer more
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
You make a great point. When I found out he cheated on me, I was really hurt and I know that if I went back to him, I will be hurt many times over. I guess it is enough revenge that he is trying to win me back but I would never return to him.
I have learned my lesson.
Thanks for the advise.
@youyuanren123 (15)
• China
3 Aug 09
thought ido not try to fall in love in this pertorty ,i was a few feeling in this problem.
1 person likes this
