Did your parents ever go through your stuff?
By leprosa
@leprosa (127)
United States
August 3, 2009 5:53am CST
This is a very strong pet peeve of mine! I really dislike the fact that sometimes my parents go through my stuff or simple grab whatever they like from my room. I don't like it, and I don't go into their room and grab their personal belongings. They have nothing to do through my stuff, eventhough some say I still live in their house so they have the right to see what I do. This is why I simply want to move out soon. For example when I'm watching tv my mom would come and tell me, "where did you buy this?" and things like that, when she was the one who bought it for me a few weeks back, but the problem is that she went into my room and took something from the drawer. My friends often tell me that their parents sometimes check their phones and text messages, I wouldn't like that either. Is not that I have something to hide because I really don't and I tell my parents everything they need to know. Also I really dislike when my mother comes into my room and sees that I am chatting and looks to see who I am talking to and what I am saying, it really pisses me off. Whenever she is chatting or in the computer I never ever go and check what she is doing, she hates that. So did your parents ever or do go through your stuff? How does it make you feel?
2 people like this
7 responses
@misztru0ng (37)
• United States
4 Aug 09
My parents (mostly my mom) definitely go through my things. I try to ignore it and not react but I get really annoyed most of the time. I don't think there's anything in the room that she has not touched yet. How do I know for sure that she's been going through my stuff? Well I caught her red handed on numerous occasions and her excuse would be "Oh, I'm just cleaning up your room. It's so messy". Totally untrue because my room is hardly messy because I clean it consistantly since I like to find things easily. Another way I know is because when I come home, things in my room are not the way I left them. My parents admit that they go through my stuff even after telling them millions of times that I would like some privacy. I remember last Christmas she was going through my Christmas presents that were given to me. I love Christmas so I wasn't trying to argue but I was boiling inside. It's not like I have things in my room that I am ashamed of or hiding but I just want some privacy and not have everything touched. My parents also ask me where I buy certain items or who bought this and that for me. Luckily my parents don't go through my cell phone and check my messages because it's all silly talk and they might take some of the stuff I say seriously and get mad at me. Let's not even go there!
@leprosa (127)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Hello misztru0ng! Well it is kind of irritating that they constantly go through your stuff, but I guess like many on here said it is because they care. About the cell phone messages, I understand and I am glad aswell that they don't go through my messages because I seriously write nonsense! One day I remember when I shared computers with my parents, I left my myspace page and forgot to log off. She then later proceeded to ask me who is this guy that told me if I would kiss him that afternoon. I was so embarassed because the guy was much older than me and my mother new him. From then on I became very frustrated that they want to know everything I do. Hopefully this will change soon!
@marababe (2503)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Oh that is kind of annoying. How old are you? I think if you're still a minor then it's pretty much okay for parents to want to know what you've been up to, what you're doing online and other stuff BUT not in a way that they're sneaking up on you or going through your stuff without you knowing. It's just that parents are being parents, they want to make sure and see and find out for themselves that you're not hiding anything, they could ask you and TRUST your answer (unless you already gave or is giving them any excuse not to). I guess I am lucky and one of the few whose parents didn't sneak up on while I was a teenager. Sure they made a lot of queries as where I was going, who I was with, how my day went, what happened, who I spent my lunch with, etc. etc. but they NEVER went through any of my stuff just for the sake of "spying" on me. They trusted me and I took care of that trust. My Mom never went through my journal or stayed for a few minutes on my back while I was chatting online. She would just ask who I'm chatting with. They rarely even ask me who I'm texting or who I'm talking on the phone with (most of the time I share it with them anyway).
Now that I'm above the legal age of 21, my Mom knows NEVER to touch ANY of my stuff without asking me. Same goes with my younger brother. We both freak out and it's a little funny that my Mom's "scared" of us when we get mad. We know when to respect each other's privacy and learned to trust each other. Maybe you could have a talk with your parents about it. A heart to heart talk on how you feel and maybe you could compromise. Open communication among family members is important.
@leprosa (127)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Hello marababe, thank you for that lovely response! Well, the thing is that my mom started doing this not long ago. She would never do this, and when I turned 18 she immediatly started asking me more questions. I share with her almost everything that goes in my life because she's the most important thing I have. My mom lets me go out and has always, obviously I had to tell her where I was going and when I was coming back. I talk to her about this but she does it anyways. The day I live in my house is the day were I will set my rules, so until then I will have to live with it. :)
@dodo19 (47066)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
3 Aug 09
I know that my mom has gone through my stuff. I've had my own apartment since may and the only time that she has visited she brought a check that I had gotten from the government. She's in my kitchen, I leave for a second, and I come back and find out that she opened my envelop without my permission! That same day, she also turned on my fiance's computer and went through some of the pictures on there without his permission! That really pissed me off, and it still pisses me off just thinking about it. It just seemed that she wanted to go through everything in this apartment, even though it's not her apartment. It may be just me, but just because I'm her daughter, it doesn't give her the right to go through my things.
@leprosa (127)
• United States
3 Aug 09
Hello dodo! I think even more so if it's your own apartment you're talking about. I still live with my parents, but I still hate it when they go through my stuff or look around my room so they can find something. It's getting worse nowadays when I spend a lot of time at home. Anyways... there's nothing I can do only just to tell them. Thank you for your response!
@flaredust (728)
• Indonesia
4 Aug 09
Well yeah sometimes ago, my Mom "sneaking up" in my room and read my diary, even I didn't like that but I just let her for a while. May be she just curious to know my daily activity. That's why after I graduated from college all of my diary books go to the fire, I burn it all and let nothing left, I don't need it anyway. Well, that's only my past memories, today I have my own family and my Mom have passed away, sometimes I still can smile when my imagination flew away back to the past, there's so much nice memories there.
@leprosa (127)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I am sorry to hear that flaredust :(
Sometimes it's just what parents want to do so they can verify their children are safe. Although I don't like it because I like keeping some things personal in my life. I have never kept a diary, I'm no good with those, I always start and write a page and forget all about it! Thank you for the response!
