Would you forgive your spouse if the commit infidelity?

Indonesia
August 3, 2009 5:41pm CST
The reason I asked this becoz I just so confused on how women's think. I have this friend whom been married for 9 years or so. They were happy couple for what i seen. But recently she found out that her husband cheated on her. This happened, becoz out of nowhere she receive a call from a woman that her husband having affair with. Confronted with her husband, she got more shocking news to know that this wasnt the 1st time. Her husband confessed that he had been infidel for 4 times already. But he insisted that he had never serious with all the girls. He just fooling around. Now, my friend came to me to ask men's perspective in it. I said, it is a sickness. Don't expect her husband to be cured from it. It is nothing close to bad habit. It is a character build in. I thought, she would leave him for sure. But couple days back, it is my return to shock! She forgive him! And now they were trying to get through all the rough days and wish that they will have strong marriage again. Cmon! This is so typical. A woman accept their husband mistake, in wishful thinking that her husband might change one day. I am a man, i know that we dont just change our character in minutes. It is my belief that one day her husband will do all over again. Worse, he might learn the mistake for not letting her wife finding out next time. So, what do u think? Am i being too skeptical to say that it is almost impossible for a man like this really settling down? What would u do, if your spouse committed infidelity, would u also forgive them? Give me ur honest opinion on this! Thanks.
1 person likes this
3 responses
• India
4 Aug 09
I think she has a huge heart.....If i were in her shoes...i will never forgive my husband, in fact, I am ...so im not forgiving him no matter what....I have lost the trust and the relationship is no longer the same. So what if he does that again and he tells her the same story that it wasn't anything serious? You must b right men or woman cant change their habits...its in them.
• Indonesia
6 Aug 09
same here. i'm not saying that we shouldnt never give a 2nd chance to the one we love. It's just that there's a limit. And how much u can see the determination from them to really really commit change, is something that you need to judge thoroughly. All women should know within their heart, that they are priceless. don't let anyone broken their heart or abuse their physic.
@busky5 (3165)
• Thailand
4 Aug 09
For me if i don't have a kid, then my husband did alike this for 4 times.I will not forgive him surely.I think alike you.Nobody can't change thier habits fastly.
• Indonesia
6 Aug 09
Yes. As a man, we r tend to justify what we did, in any "alibi" possible. It's so easy for a husband to say to his wife that he had an affair, becoz he wanted kids. And the wifey buy it! What a dump! If you cant have kids, go to doctors, or adopt! It's not a reason to be infidel!
3 Aug 09
I would take the complete opposite action of what your friend did, but it might just be the person that I am. I am a fairly distrusting person as it is, an unfortunate quality which I have to keep under control, but once a person makes a servere 'mistake' I can never forgive them and if I ever do it takes a very very long time. If my spouse committed infidelity it would be the end in my eyes. Even if they could convinve me that it would never happen again, which would be near on impossible, the damage has already been done. They clearly didn't love me enough to stop themselves doing what they did and that wouldn't be good enough for me. The relationship has been tainted and it would never leave. It would forever cast doubt in my mind. It might well be possible for a man like that to settle down eventually, but generally people with that frame of mind never will really.
• Indonesia
6 Aug 09
I couldnt agree more with you. Women seems to think that they were being "big hearted" by forgiving their spouse' mistake. For what I see, they just being coward, and lack of self-confident.