Can heavy-set women have a satisfying love life?
By allisonbrk
@allisonbrk (155)
United States
August 4, 2009 9:52pm CST
Several days ago I posted inquiring about a new reality show called 'more to love.' The premise of the show is that a man is looking for a "real" woman... rather than the typical size 2 woman who are on most reality dating shows. I thought it would be refreshing to see women confident in their size dating a man who admires curvier women. Instead it is a group of insecure crybabies who have never been on a date and are crawling all over this man because he is the first one to ever be romantically interested in them.
So the question is, can heavier set women have a satisfying love life? Personally, as a bigger woman, I have never had a hard time finding a date. I have been in many relationships. I went to every high school dance (yes I was heavy back then, too) and every college mixer. But I think its a confidence thing. I think that ANY woman, regardless of how big or small she is, will have a hard time dating if they aren't confident with their own self image. For instance I had a friend who was talking about his ex girlfriend as a girl he really considered getting back together with "even though she was really skinny and had no body... she just had a really great personality and was a lot of fun to be around."
I don't know, personally, if I were looking, I certainly wouldnt want a crybaby who never stops complaining about her weight. Either be happy with it or do something about it, but just complaining isn't going to get you that date.
2 people like this
14 responses
@my_name_is_coco (4334)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
I think when it comes to romance,every woman has a fair chance.it's all about the confidence,charm,class,and attitude.we don't want to be around people who complain their weight all day.I don't like people who are very much into physical appearance.I like people who love themselves,flaws and all.
1 person likes this
@fruitcakeliz (2641)
• United States
5 Aug 09
You are totally right about it being a confidence thing. Many plus sized women have little or no confidence in themselves, and it gives them the mind set of "How will i ever find anyone who will love me, if i can't even love myself".
I am a "plus sized" woman myself, but have never been the crybaby type who clings to anyone who shows me the slightest bit of attention. I mean yes, i will admit, i have days when i don't like myself so much and wish i were thinner, prettier, etc....but even skinny chicks have these hang ups (beleive it or not i have actually known girls who would be considered :main stream gorgeous" with more body hangups and self esteem issues than myself)
As long as you are comfortable enough with yourself to put yourself out there and look for/accept love, anyone can have a very satisfying love life.
Granted, as is true with all shows of this type, i am sure the girls were "encouraged" to play up the "i am an ugly fat girl, how can i ever find true love" side of things, as this is kind of the shows selling point, which is kind of sad, as it stereo types all bigger women as being people to pity.
@allisonbrk (155)
• United States
5 Aug 09
Ugh, I know. Wouldn't it be refreshing to see sexy beautiful women who are comfortable being bigger girls just looking to find the right man? I was so disappointed. Instead the show has turned out to be a train wreck.
@fruitcakeliz (2641)
• United States
5 Aug 09
When i first heard this show, i had a spark of interest in watching it myself, but then istarted seeing the preveiws for it and just decided to skip it, as i was afraid what you have said is happening was going to be the case. Anytime they make a reality show about a certain :group" of people, this time being heavy set women, they always play up the stero types and give the impression that we are ALL like that, which just encourages the worlds misguided opinions. It is so silly and actually kind of mean. I mean like, i can guarantee that sometime in the near future they will do a bachelor/bachelorette type show that will specialize in homosexual relationships, and i can guarantee that you are going to see every every single negative steriotype of a gay man or a lesbian womoan on it. With the media pushing this in the publics faces like this, is there any onder why there is so much intolerance of people who are outside of what society considers to be "normal"?
@sophie_dfuss (2365)
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
A woman is a woman no matter what she is. It just depend on how a woman can carry her own personality. It doesn't matter if she's skinny or overweight. As long she has the confidence and a good positive outlook in life, guys will like a woman. Every woman can have a satisfying love life if she really wants to have it, its also the same with men. The overweight guys can get a very sexy gf. I have noticed lately that most guys like curvy women compared to the skinny girls.
"Size doesn't matter"
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
26 Sep 09
Hey,
Well I think that personally they can. But with everyone now these days looking for top people, it might get a little harder. But I hate girls that are just skin and bones, I prefer women with a tad of flesh on their nice body. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@Philbo (578)
• Canada
5 Aug 09
When I was in college the girl who got more dates than anyone one else was on the heavy side and was of average looks. Us guys could not get enough of her personality. She was just a terrific person to be around. I appreciate physical beauty but I'm a whole lot more interested in what is going on between a woman's ears.
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
5 Aug 09
Personally I have never watched the show. Reality TV isn't my thing. But you are correct with the idea that if you are confident you will find someone. People will see you for the person that you are. If they are unable to see the true you they are not worthy of your time. There are people out there that enjoy a woman of size. There are sites that cater to those people too. They need to be their own advocate. It is hard to take that first step if you are not confident enough to do so.
@AcousticSoul (1309)
• United States
5 Aug 09
Well I've always been chubby from a little girl to now and I grew into my confidence, but even now as a married women, who's husband adores her, I still have those breaking down moments because as humans we will never truly be happy withour selves and I guess thats not a bad thing because it brings about change. I never been the kind of women who crys about her appearence because I know that I am in controll of that and I can change it if I really wanted to change it. most people are scared of hard work...so therefore they are what they are.
Its interesting to see a reality show who depicts on the larger women as well as the smaller women, because we are human to I just hate these women have to be so weak... although when you watch the show's with the skinny minnies they have phycological issues as well.
but like it was said above its all about self confidence and character. I think if your big or small... you can have rewarding relationship
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
5 Aug 09
I LOVE bigger women...so much that I married one...they usually have bigger boobs and bigger as$es...which is what I go for...More cushion for the pushing baby LOL
@bookreadermom08 (5614)
• United States
5 Aug 09
I havent seen this show, but I have seen the previews on it... I dont watch to many reality shows lately. When they all started years ago we were big into them, but now we watch kids programs since we are parents now...LOL
Yes, I think a heavy-set woman can have a very satisfying love life... it is all in how they present themselves.. as with all woman... it is all in there personality, again as with all woman...and it is how they attempt to achieve what they want in life..again, LOL as with all woman!!
If they dont see themselves as a positive, confident, and deserving person of good things then they wont be much good for anyone even themselves --it is more what we can do for ourselves that makes our life more fullfilling!! 
Happy mylotting.
Happy mylotting. 
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
I agree with you that it's all about the confidence. I'm a little bit on the heavy side, and sometimes I get conscious of my weight, but I don't really brood on it. I know that I could still attract guys even if I am chubby. I have a boyfriend right now and we've been together for almost 5 years. He loves me with all his heart despite my weight and size.
@ladybugmagic (3978)
• United States
5 Aug 09
A lot of love life combines sexuality. I know for me, the better shape I am in, the more I get to play dressup for my man, and the more sensual I feel. If I am even five pounds over weight, I obsess about it.
I think beauty comes in all sizes, and as long as you feel sexy and confident, you will be attractive, both physically, and emotionally.
@indybaty (368)
• Panama
5 Aug 09
I stumbled upon this discussion and I couldnt agree with you more!.
I have been different weights threw out my life, right now Im heavy set. My husband and I are excersizing not to look better, but to try to live a healthier life.
Never had a problem dating anyone, its all a matter of confidence, if you are the type of person that has never gone out on a date because you are afraid to or low selft esteem or whatever... its hard to find someone like that because
"what you proyect on yourself is what others will see of you"
@marketads (58)
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
I am very interesting your idea I hope you development your ide and i very happy read your opinion
