How can I be happy for her?????
By imsilver
@imsilver (1665)
Canada
August 5, 2009 4:33pm CST
I've been avoiding one of my sister-in-laws because I really have no idea what to say to her.
She's 18 this year; just graduated from high school. I actually did up another discussion about her earlier this year. (http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2051413.aspx) She is still in the same relationship as I was talking about there. And nothing has changed. Her boyfriend still gets drunk and decides that it would be fun to beat on her. The last couple of times it's been REALLY bad and I thought for sure that she'd see the light soon and kick the guy to the curb.
Now... she's pregnant. And everyone in the family seems so happy for her and excited about this baby. I want to be but I just can't work myself up to it. I'm really scared for her. I know how little it takes to lose a pregnancy from personal experience - and how hard it is to deal with it the rest of your life.
I want so much to sit her down and tell her how I feel and what I see for her in the future but if I do it'll just cause so much trouble for everyone else.
I need to find a way to see the silver lining in this situation but I really can't find where.
2 people like this
3 responses
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
5 Aug 09
Im sorry to hear about your sister in law! I was in a violent relationship, dont blame her! She probably can see what he is like but try and see it from her perspective! She is probably very very sccared of him and doesnt want to admit to everyone what is going on! I think sitting her down in private and discussing it would be a good idea. Just let her know you arnt presuring her into anything, and you will always be there for her but you know whats going on and if she wants help you will be there. My mum found out what was going on in my case. When she confronted me and told me she knew i just broke down in tears. I was scared that it was actually going to have to end because i was scared what the guy would do but at the same time i was relieved that it was going to be over and so thankful that she knew! It is very tough in that situation and especially now she is pregnant it complicates things! It is probably taking all she has to stay in that relationship! Dont be too tough on her. Just be as supposrtive as you can.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Aug 09
imsilver I think you do knowwhat to do,you have
already stated what you must do. It takes guts
but you could save her her baby and make her
see she is married to a wife beater, go ahead
and do what you know you should,you will not
regret in the long run. shes young and she needs
the help of a mature person imsilver.do it
