what precautions do you take if you meet some one irl from online?

United States
August 8, 2009 10:34am CST
i have to say if it wasnt for a friend that set up a date over the internet me and my hubby wouldnt have met (we both went with them to make sure they were safe) but now i have met a lot of cool people online and i would love to meet them all but i keep thinking about the horror stories of people being killed etc.. i would NEVER meet them alone or in private.. i would always choose a public place and bring some one along but still how safe is that? if you have met people online in real life before what all do you do to protect yourself? do you make sure you have done like webcam (to make sure they are who they are in the picture?) or talk on the phone to get a feel of them?
3 people like this
15 responses
• India
8 Aug 09
well in my opinion i think its risky meeting up someone that u met online but i admit i have done it myself and it actually went well and i m sure he will like u for who u r if u r a nice person & if he doesnt its his mistake and i know i get shy and nervous when i m with a guy i like but i m sure u will b fine.. well thats my opinion!!
2 people like this
• United States
8 Aug 09
im more worried about safety than if they like me.. i just hear so many bad things on predators online
1 person likes this
• India
8 Aug 09
if u r so worried then do one thing meet him up in a crowded place like coffee parlour or a mall..he wouldnt dare to do anything with u there!
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 09
yeah im thinking mall.. im prob being overly paranoid but i have had stalkers in the past irl so im like heck if i find the crazies irl im sure to find them online too lol
@tessah (6621)
• United States
10 Aug 09
i, like you, used to be horribly skiddish over meeting people face to face that id met online. until i did it a few times.. now its really no different to me than hooking up to get together with someone i met face to face and traded numbers with. most of the time i get a sense of folks just simply talking to them.. like i am here with you. an usually tell by the language used, a persons mannerisms, if theyre "genuine" or not etc etc. ive been wrong a few times, but not very often, and usually after a one visit i just dont invite the person back if they arent the type id wanna know. but most of the time.. ive met the most wonderful people ever, my best friend is one of them. weve been running together for well over a decade, she moved up from texas right down the street from me (now is living in missouri /cry, so we dont see each other often anymore) and we met in an aol chat room. my advice? trust yer gut.. if you feel something is "off" with a person, dont go setting up a face to face meeting. you can run into serial killers at the church picnic just as easy as ya can online.. only difference is, the online folks cant just randomly follow yer butt home without you knowing
2 people like this
• United States
11 Aug 09
"you can run into serial killers at the church picnic just as easy as ya can online.. " haha i like that
1 person likes this
@sweetie1026 (1723)
• Philippines
9 Aug 09
Yes, i agree that meeting in person, friends we have met online is cool. But i also agree, that we should be very careful.Seeing them on cam every time you chat is one thing, at least you'll know how they look like. Then, talking on the phone is good too, because there something different with just chatting online and seeing them and hearing their voice. Like you said, getting a feel of them is another help and then maybe searching on them on the net can also help. But having someone go with you surely will be a lot of help. If ever they have other plans than just meeting with you, if you have company, it would make them think twice.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 09
true looking up their names at like familywatchdog.com would be a good idea
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
9 Aug 09
I have met a few people that I have gotten to know online....and always took someone with me...just in case....the only time I was nervous was when my son's wife found some bathroom fixtures on craigs list and my son and I drove to the cities to pick them up....we did however have a plan if it appeared to be something not normal.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 09
yeah i am nervous to sell things on craigslist for some reason
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Aug 09
I have met so many people from the internet and I am pretty lucky that I have met more of nice persons than the bad ones. There was one girl that I met two years ago. She seemed to be nice at first and then later on, she started to blackmail my friend so that she can get some money from him. I didn't believe her at her stories since I know my friend so well the girl was not consistent to her stories so basically she is only making it up. I decided not to see her again and I change my mobile number. Its good that she doesn't know yet where I live. I heard from one friend of mine who introduced me to her, that girl always get into trouble so I understand how she gets into trouble. I told my other friend about it and we stopped talking to her anymore after that.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 09
i hate people like that
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Aug 09
You are about the only person i meet irl and i showed up by myself...whats that say bout me??? But we did meet in a crowded mall so. And we talked for months online before actually meeting. I would rather talk to a person online or on the phone for awhile before meeting them..and i do think having someone go with you is a good idea.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 09
yeah i like to talk to them a few months to weed out the psychos.. usually if some one is not patient and wants to meet RIGHT NOW or never then that is a huge tip off somethings not right
@katsmeow1213 (28910)
• United States
8 Aug 09
I've met quite a few online friends, and sadly I never took any precautions first. I'd just gotten to know them so well online that I felt they were safe, even without talking to them. One time I drove up to Canada alone with plans to stay the entire weekend with a friend I'd only known through the internet. She and I have been best friends ever since and we each take the trip once or twice a year to visit each other, but still I wonder how crazy was I to plan to stay with her at her house alone for a weekend?
2 people like this
• United States
10 Aug 09
yeah sometimes i look back at stuff i have done with out thinking and most of the time it seems as if when i choose to do things without thinking it comes out better than if i were to over think it lol
@meapas (2433)
• India
8 Aug 09
Most of the people wear a mask on the net, so it becomes very difficult to find a true friend. So why take a risk and invite problems. Let them be where they are.
• United States
8 Aug 09
well i met my current best friend through myspace and have been best friends irl for years.. some people dont have the chance to make friends irl so their only hope is internet
1 person likes this
@skyhss (1142)
• United States
8 Aug 09
as everyone knows in 12 days i am meeting someone in person that i met here on mylot. we've used webcams, talk on the phone everyday and have spent the past couple months really getting to know each other. while i'm pretty sure he isn't going to kill me and stash my body in a freezer somewhere, i will call my mom everyday that i'm gone so i can let her know that i'm still alive.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Aug 09
yeah that would be a good idea
1 person likes this
@varunsdo (204)
• India
8 Aug 09
I am also confused. Somebody today wants to be my friend and want to give a try to our relation. But I am scared. Can you help me out. I will be thankful to you
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
9 Aug 09
I have met a few people irl after meeting them online... okay more than a few. I met my husband this way too. I suppose one thing I do is just not meet someone right away. After you have known someone awhile, months, years, it simply makes sense to meet if you live close enough, or if a meeting is set up. I guess the precautions would depend on the level of trust you have developed with the person. I met a few people actually at their homes, but in one event it was a whole group of us meeting at one time, so it went well. Meeting in a public place is always a better idea, and if you can't do that, it's good to have someone or a few extra someones along with to discourage anybody taking advantage or being 'not as expected' when you meet. I met one guy one time and I brought along my husband. It was a good thing I did because after the meeting (where the guy was very decent and respectful), he suddenly got weird and was talking about wanting to run away with me. It was totally bizarre. It wasn't even like that, we discovered he and his wife and son lived within 50 miles of us and he had a cd or game or book or something he said he could bring. I had NO idea he was going to go nuts after the meeting lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 09
i tend to get guyfriends irl and online that seem cool then freak out later which has made me paranoid
@dorannmwin (36656)
• United States
9 Aug 09
My husband and I also met through the internet. So if it wasn't for overcoming the fear of meeting someone from over the internet I probably wouldn't have been where I am in my life now. The first time that we met IRL, I had a friend with me, he was much braver and was by himself, but we hit it off immediately. I've also met three other people IRL that I had previously only known from the internet. In all of the cases I was never alone, I always made sure that I had someone with me. In all of the cases I made sure what the other person looked like before I went to meet them. I agree that it could be a very potentially dangerous situation, but luckily for me it has never turned out to be that way so far.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 09
its good to hear from a lot of people having good experiences.. i guess its becoming more common now a days as people are too busy to meet people irl
@p1kef1sh (45638)
9 Aug 09
Meet in a public place first time and talk on the phone first if you can. Take a friend to chaperone you, especially if the person you are meeting is the opposite gender. If you feel unsafe, make an excuse and leave. I have met people from here, all of them lovely. But if you can, why not meet as a group? In practice, these meetings tend to go well. But better safe than sorry.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 09
myself and a lot of my friends have social anxiety to where groups arent a good idea.. but yeah if that wasnt an issue a group would be best
• Canada
9 Aug 09
I met my husband on line too, and i am making plans to meet three of my best friends in the USA one of these days, unless they end up coming to Canada first. I actually flew to the USA to meet my future hubby sight unseen when his daughter was in a near-fatal car accident. I didn't tell my mother I was going, because I knew she'd freak. I told a friend of mine here that I was going, and I told my grandfather. I had my return ticket, travel insurance, and another friend of mine had all my contact information etc. and I wasn't going to go anywhere witthout my cellphone incase I needed a way out fast!! I looked up all the emergency numbers in the area I was staying so that if anything "strange" started to happen, I could get out. As it turns out, I didn't need any of that "insurance", but it was great to have it.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 09
yeah no kidding.. better to be safe than sorry
@saundyl (9686)
• Canada
14 Aug 09
I've met a few people from online. Each time its been someone I've talked to for longer than a year, used the cam with quite a bit (that way i know its the same person and how to find em)and the phone! I also make sure to either take a friend with me or let someone know where i will be and when i intend to be home. I make sure to call when i get home to let them know i'm safe. I take my cell phone with me and leave it on so the person can call to check on me. The few times I've met someone from online have turned out really well - i had a blast and nothing bad happened.
1 person likes this