How to say a negative comment positively?

@reco13 (605)
Philippines
August 10, 2009 7:48am CST
I have a friend who is arrogant and boastful. She also has this attitude of criticizing others to the point that they get humiliated. This has been her nature long before we became friends. I know many people around us are so annoyed with her. I want to tell her about her negative attitude but I don't know how. I'm sure she'll get hurt. I know I'm just her friend and I don't have the right to change her. Besides, she was already like this even before we met. But I hate hearing others commenting about her negatively at her back. So how will I tell it to her in a less painful way?
2 responses
@Courtom (288)
• Canada
10 Aug 09
I learned in college to sandwich bad news. Whether it be in person or through an email/letter you sandwich. A sentence of good news, followed by the bad news, and then another sentence of good news. For example you could say to her: It is great that you speak your mind and that you are an open person, but it can hurt people and make them feel humiliated. I want people to see you for the wonderful person you are.
10 Aug 09
I totally agree, the best way to give out a negative is to sandwich it in between two positives, i was actually taught that as a part of my customer service training so it must work, good luck to you with your friend i hope you guys can sort it out in a civil way and not end up falling out.
@reco13 (605)
• Philippines
11 Aug 09
Thanks guys for your advice. I just have to follow your example. Hope it'll work. Probably, she'll change after hearing about this. I also hope she won't hate me. :)
@jb78000 (15163)
10 Aug 09
she might not even realise she's doing this. maybe one thing to do is to focus it more on whoever she was being too blunt towards than her - e.g. more or less saying __ is pretty sensitive so....
@reco13 (605)
• Philippines
11 Aug 09
I think so. She might not be aware of her actions and words, that she can hurt other people. Thanks for the advice.