I Am Afraid and About my Mum

Malaysia
August 15, 2009 5:43am CST
I am watching this movie on TV, about this old lady who is senile and not able to move and take care of herself. Her daughter who is very rich and befriended other rich women sent the mother to another daughter who is very poor. The old lady is ranting, mumbling, cursing bad words and the daughter has to face this everyday. Changes her diaper and all. She is very patient! I can't help thinking about my mum, I am very afraid of the time when she gets really old and be like that. I don't mind taking care of her really, but that will be very challenging and I might cry a lot that time. Even watching this movie makes my eyes watered.
2 people like this
7 responses
@webearn99 (1743)
• India
15 Aug 09
That is life, and if I may use an American Idiom "that's how the cookie breaks" Your mother growing old is inevitable and you have to take care of her. So what is there to be scared of. Please prepare for the situation in a positive way. You will face it in a good manner on the day it comes. Its O.K. to cry! it is the best in releasing the pent up feelings and bad thoughts. Best of luck for the future.
• Malaysia
15 Aug 09
I know it is inevitable, just worry about me not having the strength. I hope all will be fine. Thank you for your comment!
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3924)
• United States
16 Aug 09
I understand what you mean, not everyone is able to care for a sick parent, I went into healthcare mainly because of the love I have for my mom, I want to know that if you took care of her, you knew what you were doing, working in this field for all these years I can't say that I will be able to change my moms diaper god forbid, or bathe her, my mom is a very private woman, I know she would rather someone other than her daughter too do things of that nature, just hope and pray that your mom will live to a ripe old age and be able to care for herself there are a lot older people in our midst that is doing just that, if not hire someone to do it for you sweety, don't worry all will be well.
1 person likes this
• Japan
15 Aug 09
Hi, i live in another place far from my parent one half of a year, when i go back home, my mum often says to me that she hopes me get a girlfriend again, not too lazy for homework, i am a little afraid of her, certainly she get older and being more unreasonable, so i don't talk much with mum, just we go out to travel silently, i know everyone can't persuade each other. I wish my mum will have her happier life and not worry about my private affairs. (laugh) Enjoy mylot!
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
16 Aug 09
She wants someone to take care of you, that's why she always tell you to get a girlfriend. While my boyfriend's mum always ask him to find another girlfriend because she wants him to have an Indian girl (I am not and he is Indian). Even though we are still together lovingly but I hate the mother so much for that, but deep down inside I know she is kind of old fashion and still think that you must marry your own people. Sometimes I wish she just go away and leave us alone already.
1 person likes this
• China
15 Aug 09
hello,chi2nasrin.many people said mother is the great.but i don't think so.some mother may be that.but some mother isn't great.i am afriad of my mother and she always loud to me
• Malaysia
15 Aug 09
Oh my, loud doesn't mean bad . My mum is loud sometimes but I love her very much regardless and I know she loves me too. If she doesn't love me then she will not carry me in her for 9 months and fed me when I was still a baby. Sent me to school and gave me pocket money until I can find my own. Every person loves differently. I am so sorry if you feel that way about your mother. Maybe you just did something that she doesn't like or approve of. Or maybe you just have to understand her and be close to her, I am sure she is not that bad. Anyway, you be happy always okey.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7858)
15 Aug 09
I often work with people who have such problems so I cannot help but think how I would deal with someone close should it happen to them - but, I also work with other old people who have very active and alert minds so, I know that its by no means an inevitable part of old age. For now, I like to spend time with my mum (who is 78 and very capable despite some underlying health issues), having fun and long chats. I want to make sure she knows how much I love her and to encourage her to do whatever she wants for as long as she is able. We can worry ourselves so much about what 'might' happen that we don't enjoy the good things that do happen. I hope your mum has a long and fulfilling life ahead of her - she has a headstart by having you to care about her.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
15 Aug 09
Thank you Wizzywig. I pray she has a long life and a happy one also.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
19 Aug 09
Well yes, I am a little afraid of this myself. As long as my Dad is still around to look after her, it will be okay. But I live in Berlin, they live near Amsterdam. It is far away. Not only that I have a bad back. I cannot do very much anymore either. I have my two children, they would help me. But, it sure wouldn't be easy! I don't like to think about it either.
• Malaysia
19 Aug 09
My father left us a few years ago, now he is with his new wife and even though my sisters still contact him I never do. It's not that I hate him or whatever, it just that I don't have anything to say to him anymore. I really don't like to think about it also, when the time comes I will take it one day at a time, just hope for the strength.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
19 Aug 09
Sorry to hear that your father left. I do think when the time comes, you will find the strength. Take care.
• United States
18 Aug 09
Oh my goodness, I know how you feel! I can't even think about this subject about my mother becoming this way, and she is starting to grow older she is 61 years old, and I get terrified if she would become senile or would need someone to watch over her twenty four seven. She said that she refuses to ever go into a nursing home and before we had all agreed that she would live with my brother because he is almost 40, and has a big house and all that stuff. But, my mom decided that she does not want to live with them because they don't appreciate her and they would treat her badly, which I don't think is TOTALLY true, but she said she would want to live with us. I told her it could not happen anytime soon, because we live in a very small trailer house, two small bedrooms (we have two children) and she would have to wait until we bought/built our house someday. I feel so bad! Ughh... Why do people have to get old? =(
• Malaysia
19 Aug 09
I feel sorry for you. I hope everything will be just fine when the time comes... We have no choice but to face it all the same. Let's just be strong and hope for the best.
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Aug 09
hi chi2nasrin let me sit you straight, all old women do not go' senile in fact most of us are just as bright as you and we do not have to be in diapers. we are not all invalids,and I can safely say I aM very intelligent and c an pretty much take care of myself. we are not all burdens on our children or grandkids. most of us are healthy and able to care for ourselves so do not fret like that.your mom well may be just like I am, I aM 82 and am not senile,I do not need a sons or daughters care.movies are not real life
• Malaysia
17 Aug 09
Yeah I know that movie was not real but it got me thinking... I pray my mum will be as strong as you.