Family/Sibling Rivalry or a falling out?

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I have an older sister and a younger brother. I love my sister dearly and call her a couple of times a week and send her e-mails. She doesn't live too far from me. My brother on the other hand, well I'm just not sure what to say. My brother and I were close at one time. Things fell apart when he got involved with his current girlfriend. They have been together for a few years and have a daughter. Things becasem worse after my father passed away a year and a half ago. He does not speak to anyone in our family. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, nobody. Not since the funeral. I have tried and tried to make contact with him. I have sent holiday cards and pictures of my kids. All have been returned marked refused. Before my husband and I were married my brother lived with us for awhile when he was getting divorced and after the divorce. I think it was about 6 months. We didn't take any money from him, like food or rent, or for utilities. He lived with free of charge to get our love and support and to help him get on his feet again. He does not allow my mom to see his daughter. To be honest only a few of us, including mom only saw the baby once or twice when she wa first born. After all this and not speaking to anyone for over a year. He came to mom and asked her to cosign a loan for him. Um Hello! Obviously she said no. My sister and I knew the day that he was going to talk to mom. So we went to her house. We were surprised he showed up. I confronted him on a lot of issues. Not to make any excusses, but he seemed very controlled. Empty eyes, no emotion. Am I wrong to keep trying to get in touch with him? Is it possible that someone can be that controlled by their partner/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend? Has anyone had any experiences like this? How did you handle it?