If your spouse still calls his/her Ex....

India
August 19, 2009 3:58am CST
What would u do if ur wife/ husband still keeps in touch bi-weekly basis with his/her ex? would u feel insecure? Do u think it is right? and will be ok if he/she still keeps in touchs/meets ex-admirers and if these guy/gal gifts ur wife/husband, would u be mad with the whole situation or say its ok as long as ur spouse is dedicated to u??. And what according to u would be the right attitute to approach this whole situation. Thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
19 Aug 09
Dictating who your partner can and cannot speak to is never a good idea. My boyfriend still talks to his ex from time to time and I don't really give it any thought. I know I can trust him, so I don't feel insecure no matter who it is he's talking to. Those of you who responded that you have a problem with this and that there would be a fight if they didn't stop talking to their ex really need to examine yourselves and your relationship. If you can't trust your partner to speak to an ex without it turning into something more than speaking and friendship then there is something wrong. Just because he/she is with you does not mean that they are not an independent person who can make their own choices and have their own friends.
• India
20 Aug 09
Macha...i like ur attitude and u are so right too its the trust in any relationship thats more important n it really needs to b developed...but how???
• United States
20 Aug 09
How? Communicate and be honest with each other, maybe? I know that every person is different, but I personally made a point early in my current relationship of telling my boyfriend that we need to be honest and open with each other. Also, I started with trusting him and intend to trust him until he does something to break my trust. It's much easier if you assume the best from the start. You might be wrong and get hurt, but that risk is involved in every relationship.
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
19 Aug 09
that kind of thing is not really ok with me. if i found out about it, i'd have a fit for sure. i think its not proper for anyone who is already committed and married at that to have contact with any exes, even if its not that frequent. first, i'd tell my partner its not ok with me. and if he respect and love me enough he will never do such a thing. but if he still do it, we will for sure have a fight.
• India
20 Aug 09
we think the same...im sure a BIG FIGHT is sure to follow after he continues.what if he says he he wil not after the fight and still continues to be in touch with his ex without telling u and u find u..how would u react to it
@jayrene (2708)
• Philippines
21 Aug 09
there's no doubt it means he has no respect for me... i'd make contact with the ex and give her something of what i am thinking, but i'll be keeping my control and stay as civil as i can be. after that if there is still no stopping them, then i'm just gonna call it quits, either he stops and behaves or we go our separate ways.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
19 Aug 09
I don't feel insecure for sure. But, at the same time I don't like it when my spouse does it. I will feel like that because I am possessive about him. At the same time I belive that it is his personal matter and he has all rights to decide whether he has to talk to his ex or not. I will follow it if he says me not to talk to my ex.
• India
20 Aug 09
i guess i need to learn some things bout non-possesiveness from u.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
19 Aug 09
For me it's not a big deal if they are co-worker,or they work in same company.But aside from that,why...what's the reason for calling each other?The gift is somehow understandable if there is any occassion,but the calls were too questionable. I am a married woman,and i myself don't see it as appropriate situation having contact with my ex. As a married woman,i think i should have to pay respect for my husband.And one way of respecting him is to avoid any unnecessary contact with my ex or to any previous guys who have admired me before or i have been into relationship before. And,it's one way of avoiding gossips too....or even worst temptation. Not even saints can avoid temptation when drives by their own lusts.
• India
20 Aug 09
Yes temptations can come in any form and sometimes not all ex have good intentions in stayin in touch and for me I wouldnt stay in touch ..go out of my way to keep in touch with my ex and would respect if my spouse does that too but what can we do if men dont agree with us
• Philippines
19 Aug 09
that's fine with me as long as they don't go beyond the bounderies of friendship. sometimes ex's can still be considered friends and reliable too and not allowing them to be your friends again is a sign of pride and a bit insensitive for your partner. they maybe communicating now but she/he is yours by marriage.
• India
20 Aug 09
U are right ..as long as they know thier boundaries...its ok if not..its NO