how to get rid of this problem....afraid of girls....

India
August 19, 2009 2:42pm CST
hello friends i am new to this mylot and here am going to tell my problem which i have been facing for years am a simple man and have some close friends i behave normal in front my friends but i cant behave properly in front of a girl and dont ask me whether the girl is beautiful. if the girl is beautiful then i may not drink a glass of water in front of her ....trust me friends.i mean directly i cant talk to any girl. if any girl is posting something in mylot then i can reply to her post.but directly....face to face....i cant. i dont know y i became like this but its a severe problem am facing i remeber that (someone told me this) "if u want to know the world then start talking to girls" i still remember that but getting begginning problems. but once am start talking to anyone then am sure that they would treat me as their best friend....am sure kindly suggest what to do in these situations....i think some of the users might have faced this kind of problems so tell me how to get rid of this
11 responses
@FFFrocks (306)
• Canada
20 Aug 09
I understand what you are going through. That used to happen to me when boys would talk to me. I would have anxiety attacks, blush bright red... And for no good reason. Definitely not a fun situation. I think you just need to take that leap. Right now it might be nearly impossible for you to talk to women, but after the first few attempts you'll find it gets easier. Soon you will discover that the women are people, just like your friends are. Not too much of a difference. You'll be fine!
• India
21 Aug 09
so how r u feeling now when talking to men how did u avoid? i face same situations what u felt like anxiety.... well i would like to know how did u get rid of this.... dont misunderstand me....actually i posted this to get suggestions from users but most of the users are misunderstand me they are saying that am feeling girls are not human beings.... i dont say women are not human beings and as u said it will be okay after the first few attempts there the actual problem is my dear friend beginning problem am facing.... and am sure that if i get rid of this problem then u people will like me surely.... thank u.
@FFFrocks (306)
• Canada
21 Aug 09
Do you have a sister? Or cousins perhaps? Hanging out with them and their friends is a good way to get over it. I would hang out with my brother and his friends. It was an easy situation to start with because my brother was there and all of his friends treated me like a little sister. After a while I got so comfortable that when I went out with my friends I found the guys a lot less scary. You could also try and get a job where you deal face to face with the public. You'd be surprised at how much easier it is to talk to girls if it's in a work situation. It has everything to do with self confidence. If you doubt yourself you start stumbling over your words, tripping, stuttering, spilling drinks.... Remember, it's only a conversation, your not asking her to marry you, and she won't be as judgemental and critical towards you as you are to yourself. Every person stumbles in conversation once in a while, even the most confident. It takes time, but you can do it.
• India
25 Aug 09
oh like that u avoided ur problem...thats nice okay i will follow ur guidelines....hope i will get rid of this problem....thanks for ur response my friend....take care....happy mylotting
• China
20 Aug 09
i have the same experience when i am in middle school , i am more serious than u because when i talk to girl my face turn red , but i am luck , because girl like chatting with me and always they come to me peronal . i think the shame thing & proud thing for me it is that my first gf is more active . i am free to talk with girls now . and one of my pionts is that try more and sincerely deal to your girls .
• India
21 Aug 09
fortunately u got one girl attracted to u.... so obviously u lost that shyness u r lucky keep it up friend....
• China
22 Aug 09
dont worry my friend , i believe you can find your princess that attracted to u . good luck .
• India
25 Aug 09
i hope so....thanku....
@patofgold23 (5075)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
to start with...how old are you?
• India
20 Aug 09
what do u expect of my age? well am 25. now i think u comment on my issue
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
at that age, you should start going out and get over your shyness...
• India
21 Aug 09
thats the problem....am feeling shy at this age also....
@Renhard (3474)
• Jamaica
19 Aug 09
I use to have that problem but now i have changed. Let i tell you how i did it. I ask my friend to look my first girl for me (not a girl i fall in love with on the first site). Just to talk to her. And let my friend give her my number. Later the girl call me. And we talk (you said you can talk to the girl on the phone right?). We talk for very long. I finished the conversation by starting a topic and never finish it. Getting to know every single thing about her. Then i meet her and brought up a topic that we were talking about on the phone (the unfinished topic). Then we continue talking until i was talking without stuttering. I then went to other girls trying to start a relationship but i did not dump the first girl. That let i felt that if the other girl i was trying to get did not accept i still would have a girl so it wouldn't seem a way. I then tried a lot of girls most of them became my friends now. That is how i get rid of the fear of girls. So does it help? If it does. mark my response as best response.
• India
21 Aug 09
hey thanks for ur response i can see ur age is 15 in ur profile but u r not talking like a 15yr aged boy u have good experience with making girl friends.... well i try to avoid my shyness u know onething i didnt went to one final interview becoz the HR is a lady. i can chat with girls online only i cant even talk to them on phone.... chatting means typing ....so can do it.... well u have good number of girl friends thanks to u for sharing ur experience with me....
@Renhard (3474)
• Jamaica
21 Aug 09
your welcome
@bird123 (10564)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Perhaps, you have some self esteem issues. Start by looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you are a wonderful person. You do deserve to be loved and any woman would be lucky to have you. Do this at least three times or more a day. The more you hear this the sooner you will believe this. Next, to overcome any fear, you have to face it. You can start by just walking down the street and saying, nice day today to every woman you walk by. You don't want anything from anyone just nice day isn't it. Practice makes perfect. The more you do, the less fear you will have. After nice day becomes easy, add something to it. Nice day isn't it? After they respond ask When is that rain going to get here? More and more practice. When you are ready, talk to your special girl. Stay happy and positive. What is the worst that could happen? If she is completely crazy, you can always say. I'm sorry to bother you. I thought you were someone special and I was just trying to get to know you.OK get to it!! Life isn't about being safe 100 percent of the time. Every single person must risk in order to get anything in life. You have been on the sidelines way to long. You will make a wonderful difference in some girl's life. GET IN THERE AND FIGHT!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
• India
25 Aug 09
hi thanks for ur response i think i could get rid of my problem if i could follow what u said. u said correct practice makes perfect.if i start talking to them then may be i fail at first time and second time.but third time i could succeed rite....hope it will work for me....thanks.its a nice response.
20 Aug 09
I think its quite a common issue for men, but your friend is right, so really should see girls. I am guessing that you are probably afraid of rejection. But initiating a conversation is the only way to learn. If you get rejected by 10 girls? NO big deal. 50 girls? Then probably you need to change how you approach them. In any case, you need to approach a lot. Like 20 or so a day. Maybe befriend some of them. Its healthy to make friends of the opposite without the idea of sleeping with them.
• India
21 Aug 09
yeah u r right rejection and also i feel that what that girl feels about me if i trying to start some talk to her. and i dont get situations where i can interact with them.. well i posted this just to get advises from users of mylot....but some of them misunderstood me by saying me that treat girls also like human beings i treated them like us only.... and coming to sleeping with them,i dont get this thought of sleeping with them even in my dreams....just friends....i want to be.... thanks for ur response..
• Indonesia
20 Aug 09
hello amarhits,I have experience about you problem. 8 years ago I have friend same with you. He can't say anything to pretty girl. He only say hello "hai how are you" after that 10 minute I see, He not talk, only confuse in front of the girls. I think that is serious problem, but my thinking is wrong. Now, He already get merried and his wife very beautiful. So, why my friend 8 years ago always can't say in front of a girls?Now, I get the answer. I hope my information can help your problem. 1. Don't dirrectly have felling love with a new girl. You must have opinion to make a friend with her. Felling love can get after you make a friend and have a same mission. 2. Don feel inferior. Take easy, you must thinking if I only make a lot of friend for sharing. 3. You must have a lot of real story, introduce your self, no lie. All must true. 4. You must have personal confidence, try find some your weakness and try to solve your weakness. Try find too your strong point. I hope my information can help you
• India
21 Aug 09
nice response by the way i would like to know what ur friend did? can u tell me.... and coming to ur information....i dont like to love stranger girls....thats not good for both....first understand each of themselves and then they can proceed.. if they are interested. but u see when i posted this then i felt that users would give suggestions.it happened but extra thing also happened ....some users are misunderstanding me....they are thinking that am not treating girls as human beings.... my intention of posting this is just to get suggestions from users so that i can follow their's and get rid of this problem.... please reply with the experience of ur friend....i would like to know....thanks.
@Ruby722 (797)
• China
20 Aug 09
Hi there I know a guy who has the same situation just like you. He was very tense up when he face to face a gril and maybe he doesn't like that girl .But yeah..He behave is wired.I think probably this condition has no a exactly way to work this out.You just make yourself talk more girls
• India
21 Aug 09
hi so what that guy is doing now? is he still in that situation or changed himself being a girl tell me u girls also feel like me when talking to any boy? thanks for ur response
@eLsMarie (4348)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
it's a very serious problem... i can't say that you lack self confidence because you're only facing this kind of problem when you're with a girl... hmmmp! i guess you should try resolving it by forcing yourself to be a friend to a couple of girls and maybe you'll end up being comfortable with them... :)
• India
21 Aug 09
yeah am facing this with girls only you r advising me to force myself to talk to girls but i dont know whether it works for me or not.... but i will try.... u girls have like this problem when talking to any boy? i get this question lot of times....
@jellymonty (2354)
19 Aug 09
Hey amarh, I find it very odd as to why some guys suffer this problem. I am girl (a very pretty one) and I don't see why you should be frightened to talk to us.. we are also human too. Next time you see a girl, walk up to her and don't show any signs of nervousness or she'll definitely spot that... Just say "hi how are you today? You look very nice..." you start off like that I guarantee you girls will flock on your door...
• India
21 Aug 09
hey please dont misunderstand me i dont say that girls are not human beings i respect them being a girl tell me u girls face this kind of problems when talking to a boy? by the way HI HOW R U TODAY? :) take care
@mtvmtv (600)
• India
19 Aug 09
Yes,many persons i have seen who are feeling shy while talking with the opposite gender.That is not a serious problem.One can get rid of that by gaining confidence inside.Try to convince yourself.'What worse will happen to me?' ask this question to yourself.Well,try positively.
• India
20 Aug 09
hey thanks buddy i will try now onwards and u know people r looking at me with puzzled faces if i say no girl friend yet what to do.... and what about u?