What Do You Do When Your Child Is Getting Divorced??
By Wyldrose
@Wyldrose (1216)
United States
August 21, 2009 1:29pm CST
My oldest son told me last night that he and his wife are getting divorced. They have a four year old child and had just bought their house. He said it is going to be a freindly divorce...they don't want the courts to tell them when he can see his child or that he has to pay child support. (Which he will). They still get along with each other and still do things together with their child but they just aren't happy being together. I want my son happy and of course my grandchild, but it breaks my heart because they are getting divorced. Have any of you had to deal with this with your child? How did you handle it? Did you just stay out of it or stick your nose in it? I am just staying out of it for right now and am letting them do what they feel they need to do. They are both bright young people with good careers.
6 responses
@rmorefield (941)
• United States
21 Aug 09
I went through a divorce a few years ago. The best thing you can do is stay out of it. This is going to be an emotional time for your son (even though they both want a divorce). Let him know that you will be there for him if he needs you. But don't try to change his mind. Sometimes, people just aren't meant to be together. If they are not happy, then it is better for them and their son if they are apart. Maybe they will work it out in the future. It sounds like they are still on good terms with each other, so maybe things will change. But if they don't let them be happy.
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
21 Aug 09
I agree with you...He has to make his own decisions.. I just want to jump in there and make everything all better like I did when he was a little boy, but I know that's unreasonable. I'm happy they still get along and still trust each other. That's what makes this divorce somewhat bearable.
1 person likes this
@rmorefield (941)
• United States
21 Aug 09
I completely understand where you are coming from. I have 4 kids, and no matter what is wrong, I want to make everything better for them. I want to solve all of their problems. My oldest daughter is now almost 13, and it is killing me that she will hardly even say hi to me anymore. The only time she talks to me is when she wants something. But no matter how much she hates me, I still want to take care of her world. Be strong. It will work out for your son.
@dream12462 (44)
• China
22 Aug 09
hi,wyldrose,sorry to hear that.buy i'd say 'stay out of it ',it seemed they're very friendly after divorce,maybe its better for them to be friends than couples.my friends got divorced several years ago,she told me to get with a person who does not like to live together is very supprested,now she got her another partner,they both love each other.so with time goes,everything wii goes better.good luck.
@pbrockington (500)
• United States
21 Aug 09
my parents divorced about six months ago give or take. my siblings and i are all grown. It was hard but we let them hanlde things in the way the felt it was best we gave support to both of them because we still want to have the close family that all of us have become accustom to. Even when my father remarried shortly after the divorce. it was hard. But he seems happy. and now my mother is free. As for your son. He loves his family and it sound like you willnot be able to chagne his mind so go with the flow. still be there for you grand child and even his mother you are all still family. Family is very important. do let that bond die just because they could not hold together a marriage. Mom's have a lot of power they hold a family together with family dinners and they talk to everyone. there love over shadows divorce, mistakes and fudes. Embrace this chance to love you son his exwife and your grandchild even more... your love they will need.
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Yes, thank you.. they have my love and support. I just hate that my son is hurting. I will stay out of it and offer advice when needed. I still love my daughterinlaw and will continue to have a relationship with her. She's the mother of my grandchild...she needs love and support too.
@praveen057 (79)
• India
22 Aug 09
every father feels sad about his son getting divorced.if i would be a father i would handle this situation in this way first i talk to my son about the matter upon which they are getting divorced and i will try to solve the problem of both .at last if there is no hope of reunion i will left the decision over my son to think about this particular situation before giving divorce
@khrackow (23)
• United States
21 Aug 09
The best thing is just to be supportive. If the marriage is irretreivebly broken, nothing can be done. It it is salvageable, time will work out the issues. Our children have to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Mistakes are bad only when we fail to learn from them. It's all part of the growing process. You can share your insights and give advice without being nosey; just allow them to make their own choices. If life is not about choices, then it's not about anything. It has been said that evil is not so much about making bad choices, but in failing to make a choice and allowing things to go any old how.
