Do you change how you talk to your Friend with Benefits?

@breepeace (3024)
Canada
August 24, 2009 11:39am CST
So I have a funny little question... If you and a friend decided to make the jump from platonic friends to friends with benefits, would you change the frequency and way that you talk to them? Like for example, if you normally texted each other several times a day, would you increase or decrease the amount you sent them after you started sleeping together? Why?
3 people like this
5 responses
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
24 Aug 09
It depends on the benefit. If you are offering me stock options, or a new car for being your friends, I'd be so happy that I'd probably text you more. You never know if there's more where they come from. If you loaned me money and a week later told me it was at 60% interest, I'd be upset and probably stop texting all together. What kind of benefits did you have in mind?
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Oops! Now I feel like a dummy. When you get the 'your friend started a discussion' email...it doesn't tell you what the category is. I guess the answer would depend on how 'good' you were, and if you were really married, but didn't tell me.
1 person likes this
@breepeace (3024)
• Canada
25 Aug 09
*LOL* What if neither partner was married? And you had a pre-existing friendship?
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@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Many times friends end up going to the 'next level', or even become a full-blown relationships. There's certainly nothing wrong with that. Personally I think that relationships that have a solid foundation in friendship and trust have the best chance of succeeding. It's the best of both worlds if your partner is also your best friend. Sometimes moving from one level to the next can seem entirely natural, other times there is a bit of apprehension involved. Afterall, what happens to a great friendship if trying out the 'next level' doesn't work out? Are you still friends, or does this ruin the friendship? It can go wither way, and it's different for everybody. Open and honest communication is really important, and best if not done during the heat of passion. I guess I've gotten away from your original question of frequency of texting. I would assume that immediately after 'benefits' are added that there will be more texting going back and forth. After a while, it would probably slow back down to the 'pre-benefit' period. That's not necessarily a bad thing, it just happens as you build comfort with eachother.
@puuhbare (28)
• United States
25 Aug 09
I think you will start talking/texting more, at least at the beginning. I think one of the friends will feel like the relationship has gone to the next level. And let's be honest, it has. That kind of passion has a price.
1 person likes this
@Tianna2 (1273)
• United States
25 Aug 09
I had an friends with benefits relationship a few years ago, but we werent really that close to begin with. For the first 2 or 3 months we were talking to each other all of the time but after a while we started developing feelings for each other the communication slowed down as at that time I didnt want a long term relationship. A few weeks after that I had to tell her that we had to stop seeing each other because I wasnt ready for that kind of full blown relationship. The sad part of that is right now I wish we could get back together but she's with someone else now. Tianna
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@weasel81 (2501)
• Australia
25 Aug 09
just let things take their natural course, you may txt more some days and others not at all. i think it's better to let things flow and try to control it to much. wish it could happen for me, thou i have to get rid of my partner first.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Hey bree! That is a tough question! I have always found that once you change the friendship it changes everything! And it doesn't always change it for the better! It sometimes makes it a bit uncomfortable! You don't know how to act around each other, or he does and you don't! I have had many of those relationships end up where I felt more than he did and it ended up being a bit strained! The last realtionship that I had like that ended up with a surprise ending! My friend with benfits and I have been living together now for a year and seven months! He was seeing someone else when we started seeing each other and he moved in with me, they split up now we are really together! Let's just say you never know how it will end up! I never thought me and my boyfriend would ever end up together, let alone living together as partners!
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