She traps him
By SuzyLong
@SuzyLong (775)
August 26, 2009 10:16am CST
I've known this girl (lets call her H) since I was 14 so I've known her a good 11 years. I got her and my fiancee Dave together as well but she never lets him out of the flat to see his friends. I thought that maybe it was because she hadn't been invited out as well so I started to try and get her to come out for the day or have girly nights so that she has something to do. She says yes and then on the day says she's too tired and doesn't come out. And then guilt trips Dave into not going out by saying that he doesn't want to spend any time with her.
I used to text her when we were all planning a big night out or just going to the pub but she'd reply that she'd only just got home from work or that Dave was asleep. So I would leave it, then when we finally did all meet up, I said to them that they should come out with us more and he had a go at me saying that I never invited them out. It ended up in a big arguement because I told him that I always text her to invite you out but they didn't want to come. Turns out that she wasn't telling him that we'd invited them out so now I text him when we are going out.
I had a word with Dave and he says that it's because of her up-bringing, her parents didn't ever go out so she thinks that's what she should do. I don't think this is the case but I can't put my finger on what why she never wants to come out and then makes Dave stay in.
Anyone have any suggestions for me to help her and Dave?
1 person likes this
1 response
@miller1978 (1101)
• United States
26 Aug 09
Maybe there is an underlying issue that she has and doesn't want anyone to know. Sounds to me like she's not much of a people person or she's shy. Maybe even a tad jealous around other people (some women get very over protective of their men).
My suggestion would be to just keep inviting them out and trying. It's hard to keep doing something after getting turned down time and time again, but in the end it usually pays off. Have you guys tried a new place that might be more their style? Might try that if you haven't.
1 person likes this
@miller1978 (1101)
• United States
26 Aug 09
Have you ever just been up front with her and asked if she doesn't like to be around a lot of people? I know I personally don't like to go places where there is a lot of people unless I'm with a group of friends.
I'm not sure what to make of this because I don't know her that well. She could be one of the most sweetest ladies in the world and just not like people.
@SuzyLong (775)
•
30 Aug 09
I tried asking her before but my fella quickly changed the subject. When I asked him later why he'd done that, he said that it was none of business so I told it that it was my business because I wanted her to come out with us and if I knew why, I could plan so she would come. I've even asked her in a text message in case she didn't want to dicuss it face to face and she ignored me for 3 days before texting me back about something completely random. You'd think that she'd be able to talk to me about it seeing as I've known her for so long and we've always been really good friends. I just don't understand.
