I Was Thrown Away By My Best Friend

I don't get it either. I can see a friendship breaking up because you didn't repay some of the loaned money not because you did the honorable thing and tried to repay some of it. I think there must be another reason that you are not aware of. However if this is really the reason then she must not have placed the same values on the friendship as you did. It his is the case them I would just let the friendship go as IMO true friends do not behave this way.

Hello CatsandDogs I feel really bad for you, I am in a similar situation myself only thing is I want the friendship to end, you seem to really love your friend and if she wont take your calls I don't know what else you can do, I don't understand why she is doing this myself, I would want someone like you in my life, give it sometime and if it is meant it will be

I have had the same problem with a friend of mine a few years back. Money can seperate friends giving, accepting, borrowing, and loaning, friends and money don't normally mix well. Your friend is probably feeling as bereft as you are about the loss of the friendship and may even be sitting there right now regretting her hasty and harsh words. When she did you those favors she did it as a gesture of friendship and she didn't neccessarily want the money back. Expecially if she knows that you can't afford to give it back to her, which is information that she would be privvy to because of the friendship. She probably feels that you don't understand that her friendship and her help were unconditional and that by giving her back money you're telling her that she was not helping you out, or that "I don't need your money.", and I completely understand that you feel obligated to pay her back. Probably you were trying to return some of the money that she helped your family out with. She feels like she helped you out not wanting gratitude or indebtedness but because she could see your need and she had it to give. She probably also feels like you're family and by giving her back money that she told you you didn't have to return you are saying to her, "you're just a friend, your not family, don't insult me or my family by giving us handouts." Which that can be misinterpreted as. As angry bewildered and hurt as you may be, she probably is also. If you can go to her house and talk to her, if she lives to far away then send her a letter. Tell her how you feel, that you love her, and that you do appreciate her help, you just didn't want the fact that she's helped out you and your family to get in the way of your friendship. Tell her you are her friend because of your love, and the shared experiences that make you two friends, and that you were humbled by her wanting to help you when you feel that maybe she can't afford to do that or now that the economy or circumstances have changed for her and you're in a position to give some money back to her you thought that you were doing a good thing. Tell her if that's what it takes then give you the darn money back and you'll never discuss it again, or tell her regardless she can keep it but not at the expense of your friendship which is much more precious to you. Pour your heart out to her and try to make her see where you were coming from wasn't in any way to negate her blessings or her help, and that you didn't want to hurt her feelings. Tell her you miss her, and money or no money you need her. Yell at her, cry with her, whatever it takes to get her to hear you and to try to reach an understanding. Set boundaries for monetary gifts or loans in the future. Tell her if it is a loan I will do my best to pay you back as fast as I can, but if you give me a gift, just like if you bought me some item I am not going to give it back. That would be like you giving me something and after I used it a little, boxing it up and giving it back to her. A gift is a gift and gift giving is a blessing to the giver as much as it is a blessing to the friend in need. Don't let her discard you without a better reason than this little misunderstanding. Maybe something else is going on with her and she just unloaded on you and now regrets it, sometimes things are not just about us, they are about what is going on with us, when someone does something that pisses you off and you just let them have it with both barrels. You feel bad afterward but you also feel that you are right and that if your friend can't see that then what kind of friend are they. Remember neither of you has to be wrong for the other to be right. You're dealing in the realm of feeling, and feelings are neither right nor wrong, they simply are how you feel. the reasons for the feelings may be right or wrong, or seen from a different perspective they may be inequal to the situation. Relationships of any kind, with family, friends, partners, and children are fraught with emotional baggage and emotional fallout. Friends have misunderstandings, it happens, but don't give up on her so soon. I know you're hurt but is it worth it to swallow your hurt and your pride and make the oveture to start the dialogue. It sounds to me like it is worth it to you, so don't wait, patch it up. One day you'll both look back on this bump in the road and laugh at how you oculd have misunderstood each other so completely.

Hi Cats, sorry for the pain you are going through. It is hard to understand why people do what they do sometimes. One of my dear friends was dumped by another friend last year and to this day she still does not know why the friendship was ended so abruptly. She has analysed herself over and over and cannot see what she could have done that was so wrong. Clearly the dumper has issues and they may well have nothing to do with her. The only thing you can do is let your friend be for a while, after all you have apologised for what ever has upset her and there is nothing more you can do. Time will help a little I hope...

I don't know if a friend of mind thrown me away because she doesn't give any message from now on. I really consider her a s a goo great friend of mind. I help her all the way to her problem. Help her in her blog marketing. If she request that go for this sites and sign in I sign in. Go to this sites and give me what you opinion and go to the sites and give her a feedback. But one day I found out that the friend of mind that I consider a great friend from the Internet was tricking me. Now she is not online and doesn't give any message. I don't know why? That's my share..have a great day!

I believe if you give her time, she'll eventually come back to you. The money seems to have been an issue. Not sure why when you were doing the right thing. Take your time. Call her in a few days and try to talk to her. If that doesn't work, then ask her point blank, why? I really do think you can work this out, it just takes one of you to take the first step. Maybe she heard wrong? never know till you try. Be that one. God Bless, quita88

Well Sweetie I know how that feels I had it last Year when I had my Operation 22 Years we where friends and all because I was trying to sort things out before I went to the Op and asked my Son to let them know she got a huff on that I did not phone her myself, no matter I had things to do before I went it It upset me very much, we now sort of talk but the Friendship will never be the same I am sorry this has happened to you and I really hope your Friend will see sense and at least talk to you Big Hugs

I read through the discussion and my eyes are teared up. I feel for you. I kinda threw a friend away. We had always done things together and went places together and had children together. My main thing was that she lied constantly. She would even put me in a place in time where whatever she was talking about happened and I was never there if the story was even true or not. I got tired of helping her out especially when she wouldn't help herself out. I put my heart out there and one day, just moved and stopped talking to her. Do I miss her? Yes, I really do. Do I want her back? Yes, but I have a life of my own and I am happy with it, and for right now, I have the memories of the good times to last a life time. Remember, If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be....I hope you find something to heal your heart. I broke my own heart letting her go, and no I haven't gotten over it yet. Wish I could but I still think about her daily and it's been over 6 years now. Good luck to you Love!

It is horrible when this happens, and yes it does seem that friends throw friendship away at the drop of a hat and I am sorry it happened to you. It has also happened to me recently and it hurt so much, she just stopped talking to me for no reason. The reason she told someone else was so pathetic it was untrue. This all happened about 6 weeks ago and I do not think I will ever get over it as I have never been treated so bad in all my life!

catsand dogs hi hatley here my best friend is an angel to me'as I owe her at least three hundred dollars.she lent it to me and i said I'would pay it back. but now here i am all my money save a little'goes to pay for room and board here at GoldCrest and only'vbecause I have mysocial security and SSI checks.she knows'the situation and has never ever referred to it.It bothers me so much as I dont see how right now I can repay her. but I willjust as soon as my son'gets a good job. no good friends dont throw each other away without talking it over and resolvingtheir differences.

That seems SO backwards, dumping you because you did give some of the money back. Usually it's the other way around. How sad. And strange... I haven't been dumped by too many friends, and with one exception, they weren't that close and I got over it.

i'M SORRY CATS FOR YOUR LOSS OF A FRIEND & THE HURT IT HAS CAUSED U. i DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES SOME FOLKS TICK.maybe she will come to her senses & y'all will get it all worked out. I hope so. I do know what u are talking about, been there done that. U will learn to accept whether u ever understand why it happened to start with. Friends don't or shouldn't treat u that way. i wish u the best.

This such a coincidence. I was also thrown by my friend last month. It is painful at first but as the days goes by, life for me becomes better and I felt that I have lost nothing. She just threw me like that because she got new friends and better position in the company we are working. Since I remain in the supervisor position and she is now at a manager level, she prefers to hang out with the companies VP and AVP. I just realize later on that she treat me as a friend before because she was getting something from me (she ask me for money, she ask me to do for her, etc.) but now that she thinks she doesn't need me, she just throw me away without a blink of her eyes. She recently keeps ignoring my presence as if I really don't exist,she turn down my offer to have lunch, etc. I know there are reasons for everything. Don't worry, You will get use to it.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Surely it is not a pleasant thing to be discarded by anyone to which you have formed an attachment. However, sometimes, for reasons only the Lord knows, friendships do part. We may not realize in our grief immediately but many times it may be for our good. So give yourself some time to review various aspects of the friendship you have had with this person. I know it will not be easy because you are quite aware of the void they have left in your heart. The easiest and quickest thing is to seek to fill up that void so that you don't hurt anymore. However, it is good to allow yourself time to grief and heal and come to some understanding of what could have gone wrong. Look at yourself honestly too and see how you may have contributed to this break...that is at first difficult to do. I believe true love never ceases. If someone truly loves and cares for us, even if for a while they may forsake us through anger or disappointment, will forgive and seek to repair the friendship/relationship. Are you sure this is the kind of love you have for this friend or are your feeling more of rejection? These are good questions to ask before trying any further to repair this friendship. If this person does not truly love or care as you would hope, they will not strive as they should to heal the break. Then maybe it is best to let her go. People operate from the heart...what they think and believe. Wish you all the best. Be strong!

Wow, I am so sorry Cats. Thats got to just break your heart. Can you email her this discussion? She can read your thoughts and feelings and also what some of us are saying about the situation. I have a bestest friend, I can't imagine ever having a falling out with her. As for you giving some of the money back, I don't see why she would get upset about that, she shouldn't be insulted by it or get mad about it. My friend has given me things, I don't offer to give her money because she would be sort of insulted too, but she wouldn't get mad or that upset about it. I hope your friend comes around and gets to thinking and gets in touch with you. I have had friends, that I treated just fine, then something happened and they basically sh!t on me, they were no longer my friend, but this sounds way different. I don't see where anyone should be upset with anyone.

I am sorry you are going through this. I never have gone through that in that way. My best friend, disappeared when we found out that my son had a disability. I contacted her many times, and she was always too busy to talk. I finally just gave up. I have gotten over it, but still miss her.

Friends are meant to be forever. I can't remember having friends who turn their backs towards me. I have many real good friends, friends that I made since my school days and are still in communication with me. Once in a while we go for holidays overseas. I am so lucky to have sticker friends who are never bored with me. I think it is time to move out if your friend has severed ties with you. There is no point of hanging to that friend who doesn't appreciate your friendship. No real friends, try virtual friends. They are as good as our real friends.

Hello Cats, It really hurts losing a friend but in your case you haven't done something wrong. I guess your friend is just emotionally or disturbed. She might have other personal problems, so give her enough time for sure sooner or later she will realize you didn't mean to insult her and that she misunderstood you of your action. For sure she treasure and love you as her closest friend as well. Just call on her or keep in touch with her from time to time, show her you still care, you may also add prayers for her to understand and be friends again.

sorry to say this.. Your friend is strange.. thing that u do is't something that can insult her. You do that because her helps you too much and to show some appreaciate, you give back some of the money that she already sent to u.. Strange... strange....people.... huh... Sorry if what i'm saying annoying u.. (^_^) P/s: May god bless u..:P

i am lucky.i have no friends